Grown But Wingin’ It

Adulthood wasn’t what we expected—and most days we’re winging it with what we’ve got. From food-stretching hacks to parenting phrases we swore we’d never say, this episode explores the humor, exhaustion, and unspoken wins of grown-up life.

We talk about invisible labor, aging bodies, budgeting, grocery strategies, and why building a life that works matters more than the one we were told to chase.

Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Collective!
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast

Transcript

Setting The Heavyweight Tone

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can we can weigh in some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.

SPEAKER_04 0:27

We're gonna be talking about like crazy shit though. Maybe. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

So on my third walk. And I realized the little midget that I was talking to wasn't actually there. It's just a kick. Yeah, like shit.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

What's good? This is episode 226 of the Heavyweight Podcast. I am your anti-social host, but never your favorite. Back again with these two guys and our guest, Sharon. I don't know how to do this way. It feels awkward. Because it's usually like a rhythm, and I'm off rhythm. Because I don't usually host that much anymore.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

So you soak the chocolate today?

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Yeah, I'm off rhythm. I'm all I'm more blue facing it.

SPEAKER_05 1:21

Do silk.

Tubi Movies And Low-Budget Laughs

SPEAKER_01 1:22

I'm blue facing it. So you run it, you run it from the beak. Yeah. So we're gonna shoot a tubi movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

Somebody try to tell me I need to watch tubi movies. You you gotta watch them for the for the story and the plot. I said, this shit is terrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

You gotta watch them for the bad shit and editing.

SPEAKER_04 1:38

Everything. I said, I'm a fucking Tubi director. Shit.

Weekly Check-Ins And Holiday Money Stress

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Did you see that video that was going around where it was Marcus Houston and he had his whole beard had changed by the time he got down sick? This is some bullshit. That's funny. But anyway, uh how were your weeks? My week good, really good now.

SPEAKER_04 2:03

Um, things got things is moving in the right direction with some shit, you know. Shit always flows down. Yeah, yeah. Why you gotta do that? Why you gotta do that? Because it goes down the intestine. Damn. Comes down. No one shits up like astronauts. Well, yeah, everything's been good. Health has been pretty pretty good. I gotta stop smoking, but that ain't happening until I'm gonna make a New Year's resolution. My week was uh My Week was cool, man. You know, Christmas in a couple weeks. I'm just trying to figure out I'm gonna get this money by Tuesday. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 2:42

For real.

SPEAKER_04 2:44

Figure out I'm gonna get this money by Tuesday. That's it. You know? I gotta go buy a tree.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Oh, I gotta get my tree. No.

Real Vs Fake Christmas Trees

SPEAKER_01 2:56

If anybody's looking to give away a tree, the old tree that you're not gonna use anymore, you know. I did a real tree once and ever again. I'm done. I've been doing them for about growing 20 years. Damn, you gotta get tree. Well, it kept growing. That's funny. Supposed to die, I kept going. Not like the real tree.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

That's crazy. We usually get a real tree every year, and then I realized the motherfuckers cost I was paying$200.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:30

I'm not even mad at that. It was the finding the the needles in my garage seven months later. Were you like what pissed me off is I used to uh I used to then after Christmas, I would give my um chainsaw and cut the motherfucking tree in three to fit it inside the can. And then I then the last year I realized I didn't have to do that. You just set it outside.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

You get two weeks after Christmas.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

I didn't know that shit.

unknown 3:55

No?

SPEAKER_04 3:55

I had been doing all the extra work for fucking nothing. It don't matter because then my wife found a uh a fake tree on sale, and uh it's a 13-footer, and we uh we rock that bitch every year now.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Damn. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 4:06

He got vaulted ceilings in one room tree leaning to the left. To the right?

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Damn, that tree. I wonder how that tree's doing. To the window to the wall. Still growing, probably. It's probably growing somewhere. Gonna be the Rockefeller tree. Yeah. I think I got that tree for like a steel, too. It was like the last year trying to get rid of, and that shit just kept growing.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

So damn everybody knew.

Work From Home Apathy And Hair Wins

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Sure on your week. My week was cool. No, you know what? I'm not even gonna lie to y'all. Work work kicked my ass this week, but you know, ebbs and flows. Oh, don't start that shit. It's all about the ebbs and flows. I need that shit so much. Do you?

SPEAKER_04 4:59

My wife says all the time. Ebbs and flows. Ebbs and flows.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

I mean, that's what it's about. I'm about to clog this shit. No, work was stupid, but I had, you know. Week was good. Pretty solid.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Oh, you just made think about work. I was actually completely I completely forgot about work.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

Yeah, you gotta be there soon.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

And you reminded me about that. That's such a nice guy.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

They look good.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

I I walked into work on Monday thinking my dispatcher was my dispatcher, and then the other dispatcher started talking to me, and then I realized I was gonna be in for some shit for the rest of the week. Was it good shit or bad shit? It was bad shit. Oh, damn. Because they were just it was at random, it's amazing. Because they gave me a bunch of uh that big place, the Amazon place, as a part of my set run, and then they said, you know what? We can't give you that shit because it's it's it's the holidays. I was like, but you guys built this fucking run. I can't control what happens.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

I did get my hair. Oh, I'll cut you off. Oh, go ahead. I just thought about it. I did think about work. I did end up getting my hair done this week, and that was we need a little hair. We can clap. Go ahead and clap. Could you get your hair done? Yeah, no. No, I need to clap, yeah, because my hair done.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

I was gonna give like a real authentic natural one, but I mean you want to clap work.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

No, y'all don't understand. Like working from home has made me lazy, ugly. I could care less, okay? So it was an accomplishment.

SPEAKER_04 6:31

Do you do you uh get dressed before work or you just roll to bed? That's all you even get out of the bed.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

That's the answer.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

I do not get dressed for work. I often have on a robe, scarf. I do get dressed because I well, I put clothes on. Get dressed is a whole other thing. But I have to take my baby to school. So I do that and I come back and then I go back into my work clothes, which is a lot like what I've been sleeping. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

So when I heard the robe, I was like, just don't jump off stage.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Oh no, that the Versace robe is a theme for the day.

Parents Winging It: Childhood Stories

SPEAKER_01 7:09

No, you can jump off stage, just make sure you're drinking your milk. Breaking bones in his 30s. That shit is crazy. That shit's crazy. Yeah, shit. All right. Um so these uh questions are curated because I had a realization is being an adult, you realize that sometimes things click to a degree that your parents either were just winging that shit, or some things just started to make sense, right? So eventually you realize that something either just started making sense when you became an adult, or you just realized they were just full of shit in the moment and just was trying to figure out just like you are now.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

A little bit of both.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Yeah. So can any of you share a story in your childhood that correlates to the realization that your parents are just winging this shit? And didn't have shit figured out.

SPEAKER_04 8:06

I'm not gonna tell the truth.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Why?

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah, I don't know. Not for real.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

That's just depressing. You say you're not gonna set my ass up.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

I mean you don't have to share the just give an instance.

SPEAKER_04 8:22

No, you don't have to hear them motherfuckers Royal Rumble, so yeah, as you grow up, you're like Oh, y'all, y'all didn't have this figured out at all. What is Royal Rumble? Parents going at it.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Oh, gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

So I I figured they was winging it. I hope they didn't plan that.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Okay, gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 8:47

Anyone else? It's funny because I picture I picture Kevin Hart dead. Did he just kick me? Yeah. Oh man. Winging it? Shit. My mama winged a lot. When the times I was with her, I was like, yeah, I don't think I don't think she knows what she's doing.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

At what age did you figure that out?

SPEAKER_04 9:10

Shit, about seven.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

I feel like food was another one. That's why I got on my bike with the grandma. Like food in good or bad way. Like when you like, I I just vividly remember, and I tell my mom this shit all the time. I'm like, you fucked up chicken for me for a while because like you made us eat chicken for like two weeks straight. Like, cause they had a good sale at Stater Brothers. That's it. Man, look, man, Kevin.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 9:34

I was like, Yeah, there is a list of shit I I will not eat because I am traumatized from my childhood. I don't want no goddamn okra. I don't give a fuck how you cook it. Fried.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

It's always gonna be slimy.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

I don't care. I don't want no damn okra. I was forced to eat okra. I don't want no fucking okra. And I will not eat liver ever again in my life.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:51

Uh fuck with liver.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Liver smell good while it's cooking. Well, it's the onions, probably.

SPEAKER_04 9:56

Don't judge me. And I don't eat no goddamn gizzards.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

Don't eat my dressings.

SPEAKER_04 10:02

Do we know this? Douly know that. If I bite down a goddamn gizzard, I'm fighting somebody.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Gizzards go and dress.

SPEAKER_04 10:08

Yeah, that's niggas. All right, don't dress. I put chicken and turkey in mine.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

I put chicken and chicken gizzards. It's all right.

Food Trauma, Okra, And Waste Not

SPEAKER_04 10:16

See, but that's not winging it. Chicken for two weeks. No, that was that that was what's on sale. I understand that. They was winging the grocery list. That's what they were doing. They was making them ends meet, man. Get it now. I'm going to get uh uh two of them family packs of them dyes, they on sale.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:37

That's gonna be us for the next three weeks.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

I I I could tell my parents was like the pickups and drop-offs and all that. Like, I have three kids. Well, my oldest daughter drives now, so that thank God that helps a lot. But like when I think about I was getting picked up by all of my cousins. We we all got picked up by whoever picked up. So that was like that was winging it. Like, okay, well, I I'm not off till this time, so you're gonna have to pick up today. And it's crazy, you got picked up.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Yeah, yeah. I did a lot of walking. I did a lot of walking.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

See us. Me and like two of my cousins.

SPEAKER_04 11:15

We we went to all the same schools, so I got I got picked up in high school for the first couple years because only because it was too far. Because I didn't know we ain't how I would have made it on time. So I got dropped off and picked off for there.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

I lived a block, you know. You went to uni.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

I went to uh Central.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

No, you who went to uni. I went to uni. You went to uni. So uni is on Massachusetts. Minerva is the street right before uni. I lived on Minerva. My daddy picked me up.

SPEAKER_04 11:40

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Yeah, damn it. And all my friends, like to this day, they'd be like, is that your dad pulling up? Like, what the hell? I got picked up. It was we had big dogs on the street. My dad didn't want to. Okay. Even though he knew I was afraid. My daddy picked me up.

SPEAKER_04 11:55

I was walking to uh any, you know, I walked uh I went to uh Carson Elementary for um kindergarten and I had to walk over the ravine through the park to school. And I and I did that every day in kindergarten. Right? Then when I was in first grade, I went to 99th Street School off of 99th Street, uh, off of 99th in uh LA. And I walked to 99th Street school. I walked for uh it was like eight blocks, eight nine blocks.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Is this walk-off?

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Oh, they just walked named the school 99th Street.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

99th Street Middle.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

So you were in the first grade?

SPEAKER_04 12:32

No.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

I feel like that's one of them stories though, where if your mama was sitting here, she'd be like, You did not.

SPEAKER_04 12:37

Well, my mama wouldn't know because she was in rehab. I remember when God damn it.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Stranger, danger. I think that's the cheese and outdone.

Gardens, Fruit Trees, And Stretching Groceries

SPEAKER_04 12:50

But it but it wasn't, it wasn't like it wasn't just me. It was like every kid from like like when I walked in. That changes the narrative in kindergarten, it wasn't just me. It was like every kid on the block was walking and walking together. So like you wouldn't just get one kid. You had it was gonna all of us, somebody's gonna tell on your ass. I mean, now we weren't gonna fight for each other, but we was gonna run. Somebody, somebody's gonna get away and be like, They got Curtis. Yeah, we left them there. Because as a kid, I used to I used to walk up to the um to Maddie Johnson Park and go swimming. Okay. By myself. That's a different time though. Hell never do that. She my daughter can't walk in the mailbox while I'm looking out.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

For real. I thought I tell my kids all the time, they get mad that they don't get to walk from school. And I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

I uh lived in St. Louis for a year, eighth grade, and I lived in a different county than my middle school.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

So and it's like a free highway, like a big, like wide highway. So I would have to walk about three or four exits down the highway. And then cut across the highway, you win, and then walk down another strip of uh road and then go walk. It was a long trip. It was about a two and a half hour walk.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

That was my out there, yeah. That sounds like a wing it. I had big calves for a reason, huh?

SPEAKER_04 14:13

No. That sounds like a wing-in-it for shit. I definitely feel at that point, at that point, it should have been a bus somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

And then my dad, my dad was at this time since we were living with family, he was working in down in the city metro area of St. Louis at a barbershop. So like it was me. Yeah. So he wasn't, there was no, he's like, you have to just walk. That was a long walk. You skilled them how good they got it. Yes. Anyway, uh, that just fucking made me tired. Um but that's crazy as a kid.

SPEAKER_04 14:54

I never I never thought about that. Because I was I was with the I was with them friends walking and talking.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

I was by myself. I talked to myself a lot. Me and myself were best friends. That's good. Because we talk, I talked to myself.

SPEAKER_04 15:05

I mean, like I said, a couple episodes.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

I do that now.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

This hand of mine, we was real close. Oh, yeah, that too. Um we're not gonna go down. And there was a Arby's. I used to stop by every day for a cup of water, and I'd tell that guy felt bad for me. Because he was like, This motherfucker walked the girl every day. Nigga, and out there it goes city, though.

Grapefruit Shock And Breakfast Memories

SPEAKER_02 15:25

He said where was it, St. Louis?

SPEAKER_01 15:26

St. Louis. And that's why like when when M16 was talking about the Nelly shit, I said, Yeah, I rec go back and listen to the tape. There's a point where I say it's accurate, unfortunately. Because out there it's it's hot, humid, and everything that Nelly says, I felt because it that album is very St. Louis. Like it you feel like you're in St. Louis. So um, so when you look back at how your parents did things, does it change the way you viewed them as parents now that you're either a parent or an adult?

SPEAKER_04 15:58

I feel like I appreciate it more because I understand the complexity of life and what it takes to run a household. Yeah. And I and I understand now why why we had to eat the same thing two, three times a week. And why and why and why you wouldn't uh finna sit here and eat four bowls of cereal at one time. Like that shit gotta last.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Or why you get in trouble for wasteers, right?

SPEAKER_04 16:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Right. Because what the hell?

SPEAKER_04 16:23

So that's you nowadays. I uh shit, I went grocery shopping the other day. I spent fucking$300 in Sam's Club. And then she was like, then she said, Oh, we gotta, we still gotta go to Winco. I said for what? For what? And I said, Well, hold up. I said, I look I said, no, go ahead and take that toilet paper off.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

So you said at Sam's Club.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Sam's are usually for bulk items. So where did you go? Where else did you go for the like the with the with the winco? And and how much you spent on Winco?

Sardines, Vienna Sausages, And 211

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Another another$150. And that's the thing about grocery shopping now. Yeah. Like you gotta go to a couple stores. I don't know if like, and then that's the type of stuff that like from I don't know what my parents was doing. We lived right by State of Brothers. I feel like we always went to that State of Brothers, you know? Like that was it. But it's like now it's like you gotta go, you gotta go here for this, and then you gotta go here for this.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

I should have known better. See, now I understand a couple things. I understand why my grandfather grew so much food. Because like I said, I grew up with around a lot of fruit trees. We didn't buy a lot of fruit. Nigga, go outside, pick an apple. Period. Get you an orange or a cherry, whatever, whatever's in season, it's outside. I understand why now, why he had greens and cabbage.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

And me and the neighbor's pomegranate tree were like Kale doesn't die.

SPEAKER_04 17:37

I remember going to my great-grandfather's house.

SPEAKER_03 17:40

I love it.

SPEAKER_04 17:41

Uh, and I would have to go over there to get sugarcane for my grandma. I would cut I would cut two sugar, I would cut two sugarcane and probably not dope. It probably sucked. No, it did. It sucked. I had to cut, I would cut two sugarcane and we would take them back home. But but what I thought was dope because my grandfather was the only house I ever known that had a banana tree. Oh, wow. Oh, dang. And I used to eat bananas from a tree. Them bananas were the best goddamn bananas in my bad. Believe it. Fresh banana? Fresh banana. Fresh.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

In her bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 18:08

In LA. I don't think I've ever had like a fresh, fresh banana like that. In LA. I said this is I said, this is that a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

I I I can't say we had fruit trees, but the neighbors always had fruit trees. That was the first time I tried grapefruit. Yeah. Didn't know it was a grapefruit.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

Found out quick.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Found out quick. That shit was bitter as shit.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

Hold on. So we're at Sam's Club, right? You know how they put the samples out. And Phoenix was like, Oh, I'm so thirsty. I said, I'm gonna get some. I said, You're not gonna like that juice. Yeah, hell no. Who's grapefruit juice? She took a snap.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

She said, Yeah, grapefruit is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

That grapefruit is.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

My grandma used to eat grapefruit in the morning for breakfast. And she would give it to us, and I still do, but I will tell you, I'd be laughing. It'd be so much goddamn sugar on that damn grapefruit.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

No, no, no sugar.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

I used to like literally when I when she would give it to us, and she had the little sugar on the table, and I would just load it up with sugar. But now I'm like, damn, I should I should have been eating it really.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

I'd pill grape people to eat it like an orange.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Okay. Right here. It's so bitter.

Spiked Bottles And Hot Toddy Culture

SPEAKER_04 19:10

You looked at me for liver. Yeah. I understood now how like, like Sharon was saying, like, and growing up in uh grandma's house, waste was not an option. Everything, everything was used. Even the corn when the cornbread got old, she mushed it up, put some buttermilk in it, and eat it. And it was slot. We weren't throwing out no food. Everything. Only place I ever ate food out of the trash can at my grandma's house. Oh, she won't let you know the book. It was seconds. So I got seconds. She was like, You asked for that. Oh, you eating that shit. You eating that.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

Good shit. Granny. Cause what were you doing?

SPEAKER_04 19:45

I think I told you. That's the last time I ate out of the trash can, too. I told y'all a story where my my sister threw her broccoli away and she thought she was being slick. She threw something in the trash, something behind the kitchen, something next to the stove, something behind the refrigerator. And she had to go in there, pick all that shit up and eat it. I said, damn. She said, couldn't even rinse it off.

SPEAKER_05 20:02

I said, damn.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

And I used to just look at it like just chew it and swallow it. Just chew it up. Don't let it. I can't. I'm tired. I said, all right, well, look here. She shouldn't have done. We can't get up to uh until we done. So I'm gonna go ahead and eat this and leave. Yo, ass here by yourself. Yeah, but yeah, that being waste.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

And now that and then even like the meals. I remember like my grandma make a meal on a Monday, and by Thursday, whatever else she made, like Thursday, Friday, you got like bits and pieces of all of the meals for a meal. Yeah. And I do that. So I especially working from home now, it'd be like, okay, they didn't finish this. They didn't finish this on Tuesday. They didn't finish this on this day. Now I got me a whole little lunch.

SPEAKER_04 20:49

I I realize now that it was always like the end of the month, whenever you know, my grandfather called it ketchmellow. It was basically goulas. Oh. Suck it. Suck a tash.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

Suck a tash. Suck it ash.

Phrases We Swore We’d Never Say

SPEAKER_04 21:02

But he called it ketchmellow. And all it was was ground turkey and some type of tomato sauce with mixed vegetables and a shit ton of okra and corn. Now, honestly, it didn't taste bad if the okra wasn't there. If the okra wasn't there, it wouldn't taste bad.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

That's nice.

SPEAKER_04 21:26

But the one thing I give them credit for is that shit would it would fill you up. I just hated eating the goddamn okra. So I would try to scoop out the shit without the okra in it. And if they called me like, no, I guess I'm okra. No, I don't want no damn okra. Nah. But that shit, but they would make a they make that shit in a gumbo pot, and I said, Yeah, this is about a week and a half right here.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

This is it.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:47

This is it. And my life, breakfast growing up, was very simple. It wasn't until I got older I can get cereal. Before that, it was uh I either had oatmeal, cream of wheat, or or uh one egg and a piece of toast.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Hey, cream of wheat was so fire when I was a kid. I want some cream of wheat right now.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

That shit cream wheat was fucking fire.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Cream of wheat was fire.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

Especially when they would cook the cream of wheat and give you bacon with it, and you dip the bacon in there. Cream of wheat was good.

SPEAKER_03 22:13

Shit.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

That's crazy. I haven't had cream of wheat until my kids make fun of me because I they you y'all seen how um the the TikTok sardine plate. Have y'all seen that? No, no.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

I'm not eating a goddamn sardous.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Listen, there was a it was viral like recently. It was a sardine plate. They made it all cute. It was like sardines, like like a little charcuterie, but with main thing with charcuterie board. Yeah. And uh my kids was asking about sardines or whatever, and I was like, Yeah, like I used to eat sardines all the time, and they just judge the hell out of me.

SPEAKER_04 22:43

My wife still eats sardines.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Yeah, I'm like, I used to eat sardines with my dad all the time.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

My wife eats them, and now she got my child eating them. They literally they they they they pin the they they they peel the can back, put a little sauce on it, and just go in. I'm like, that is disgusting shit.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

I haven't eaten them, don't get me wrong. I don't I don't still partake, but I will eat some sardines just because so much when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

No, I used to see it all the time. My dad, I know the smell makes you gonna throw it. I do though.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Y'all eat regular fish, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 23:13

I do the oysters. That's potent. Yeah. That sardine can when they pop open.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

What I will never eat again that I used to eat when I was a kid is Vienna sausages.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

I still don't know.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

I I wouldn't fuck with no Vienna sausages.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

Not probably, not no more.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

I would eat sardines now. Like if my kids made them TikTok, whatever. I eat, I ate it, but I won't I won't eat no niggas.

SPEAKER_04 23:32

But you guys don't want to eat the neighbors' kids? Because that's all that is grounding up shit. People and shit.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

That was my dad's they have potted meat too. Y'all remember potted meat?

SPEAKER_04 23:40

I ain't got no potted meat either. That was my dad's prep and do it. What?

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Vienna sausages and sardines. Did you see this meal prep? This nigga meal prep, bro.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

He needs some crackers or something. Yeah, crackers too. Okay, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

And then um his friend Speed used to drink the 211. And then work on work on the cars.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

I used to uh I had my cousin used to always tell me, he's older, uh, always tell me that 211 is what you drink to maintain your buzz. You don't start drinking off 211. And any nigga that purposely go buy 211 to get drunk, he has committing 211.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

That nigga's a problem.

SPEAKER_04 24:16

He said that nigga can fight.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Speed is the same dude that uh shit himself to avoid going to jail. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:23

Yeah, smart.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

211's is energy, energy drinks.

SPEAKER_04 24:26

Shit. I remember being, I think I was like eight or nine, and I I went to the store and got my dad a Mickey's.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

They had slits. I was drinking, they was drinking slits.

SPEAKER_04 24:38

I couldn't believe it. I was like, they're not gonna give me alcohol. He's like, Yeah, just tell us for me. And that man gave me a Mickey's. I said, Yeah, I'm here. Um, Mike, uh my dad, Mike, sent me to get a he's like, here, oh, for Mike here. I gave the money, he gave me the change back, and my dad's like, You want a sip? No, nigga, I don't want to sip.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

He should have just fucked with the like, he's in here.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

He gave it to me. Yeah. That's also the same day my dad told me that he used to put Mickeys in my uh Mickey's and cognac in my uh bottle to make me go to sleep because him and my cousin Eric wanted to hang out. That'll do it. Well sounds like winging it right there. So adult. God damn. He said it wasn't a lot, just drop.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

What's all you need?

SPEAKER_02 25:20

He said sounds like winging it.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

I don't know. That that that winging it. Uh it worked.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

But my mom confirmed because my mom's my mom said yeah, they used to go out and they would leave us with with the with the dads, and the dad's like they they wanted to drink and watch the game, so they would they wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

So they just made you little by little alcoholics.

SPEAKER_04 25:38

They would just spike a bottle.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

We used to be different than what it is now.

SPEAKER_04 25:43

Well, you know, they say when they tea, they wipe just put a little cone.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Oh, your hot toddy? Those were delicious, but you're like, that was just alcohol. Yeah. It was but you know what? It had honey and lemon and some honey. You're like, who's it?

SPEAKER_02 25:56

I realized I I had a with hot toddy's my dad used to make me hot today. Okay, see, and I have to preface this with it's a funny story because I didn't know that hot toddy's had liquor in it. I didn't know that that was the what it was.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

I did until I was older, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

But no, I didn't know that that was like the reason why they called them hot toddies. My dad would make me tea to go to when I was going to sleep, and he would always call it, we say a hot toddy for the body. He wasn't putting no liquor in my drink, in my in my tea. He wasn't, I know he wasn't. But when I grew up, I had found myself in a couple situations where I said, Oh, yeah, my dad would make you hot toddies. And people were just kind of like call the cops.

SPEAKER_04 26:33

Concerned, right? Call the cops up.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

So I was a grown ass adult when I learned that hot toddy was tea with liquor.

SPEAKER_04 26:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

But I've been drinking them since I was.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

It worked. It it did work.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

Now I put liquor in my I I make real hot toddy.

SPEAKER_04 26:48

I'm telling you right now, you got some chest congestion, you take a couple shots of fucking 1800. That shit gonna burn up.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

It works.

SPEAKER_04 26:55

We congested for long. That shit's gonna burn right up. It works.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

So, what phrases or statements did your parents make that you now catch yourself making now as an adult?

SPEAKER_04 27:05

Oh, all of them. Turn my goddamn lights off.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Not for real.

SPEAKER_04 27:10

Well, they didn't cuff, you know. These lights ain't free. Yeah. My favorite one is you think fat meat ain't greasy, huh?

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Oh, that's my daddy used to tell my brother all the time.

SPEAKER_04 27:18

And I love a I I can show you better than I can tell you.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Mines is I'm broke.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Period.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

I would see my dad pull out a watercast.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Literally, how you broke?

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Dad, can you get this? No, I'm broke. But I just saw you. Not I don't mean shit, I'm broke.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I'm broke.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

And then I, as I gotten older, I get it. Because when my kids come to me and go, Dad, but you got I'm broke.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

I'm broke.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

It's funny.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

You got paid today.

SPEAKER_04 27:42

It's funny because when you shared when you shared your memory the other day of Ava asking for the iPhone like five years ago, I said, it's crazy because now she really wants the phone.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yeah, she really wants the phone. But she was like, I want to, can I get an iPhone when I turn seven? I said, You got iPhone money. She said, no, but you do.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

I said, what the fuck? Like, how would you know that?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

I'm broke.

SPEAKER_04 28:03

Nigga, this motherfucking kid, who was it? I think it was, it might have been Grace. No, we're going to see my aunt. And I don't know why she said that. We were somewhere down off Iowa, and it was like the big ass pallet yard. She's like, oh, we're gonna go see, like, it's they're poor, right? And I was like, what?

SPEAKER_03 28:20

I was like, Who the fuck are you talking about? Well, we're poor too.

Aging Bodies, Sneezes, And Random Pain

SPEAKER_04 28:26

Like, why would you say that? So Phoenix told me the other day that I owe her three million dollars because I didn't take her to I didn't take her to uh Chick-fil-A. I said, how do I owe you money because I didn't take you somewhere? And I said, How do you expect me to get this money? She said, You gotta go work for it. I said, Okay, so three mil. A lot, right? A lot. And then she had the nerd, she asked, uh, she asked my wife one day, she was like, Mom, are are are we are we broke? And she mom was like, Why do you think we're broke? He said, 'Cause so-and-so said, like, if you don't bring your lunch to school, you're broke. Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Dumbass kids.

SPEAKER_04 29:00

And so she was like, Phoenix, but you take your lunch to school. She said, Oh, I know, but I know, but I have friends that don't bring lunch to school. Oh, God.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

She's trying to be show up as a compassionate person.

SPEAKER_04 29:10

So now she like, every time she sees a homeless person, she was like, We gotta at least gotta get them some food, but I said, look here.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

A couple more, a couple more paychecks, we're gonna be out here. I'll be with them. Be with them.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

I find myself telling my kids, my dad used to always say, Your only responsibility right now is to go to school and and and do good in school. And I find myself saying that I'm a broken record with that. Because it really like it rings so loud, like I wish I didn't have no fucking responsibility. I'm trying to get them right now. I wish I didn't have no responsibilities. Even when I call myself having a day where I'm gonna not do my responsibilities, it's something I still gotta be responsible. So I find myself saying that a lot. Like, this is your only responsibility right now. Like, just do that. Like, take care of what you gotta take care of.

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Oh, yeah. With the older one now, it's more. I hate that shit. Cause that's I used to hate when my dad would do, well, you gotta make a plan for something. Like, you gotta come up with something. Now I'm like sitting there, I'm like, hey, you gotta come up with something. Like nothing. Nothing to be in my goddamn house. Just sitting around. Shit, I'm never gonna. My dad's phrases was too much.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

What'd he say?

SPEAKER_04 30:24

Great googly moogly. He was one of them. Sharper than Cooley Brown. Don't take no wooden nickels. I like that one though. I gotta start using that one. I get it. Don't take no wooden nickels. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? He said, don't take that plantation money. No, for real. Don't we like smoke a snack? Oh my god. Hold it in a witch's titty. That's one of my favorites. That's one of my favorites. Man, it's colder than witches' titty out here. And I'm like, uh, oh. I like that. I like that uh uh uh a dead clock is right twice a day.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

And only a hit dog gonna holler.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Oh yeah. That's some old nigga shit. I was about to say, my daddy was an old nigga and my mom is from the south. So I had all the saying.

SPEAKER_04 31:12

Well, my dad was an old nigga from the south.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Oh see? There you go. That'll teach it all to you.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

So, what's your favorite things about being an adult? All of it.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

None of it.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

The aches.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Yeah, like what? You really asked us.

Errands, Invisible Labor, And Burnout

SPEAKER_04 31:33

The aches, the pain.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

The wisdom.

SPEAKER_04 31:37

The bills.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

The wisdom.

SPEAKER_04 31:39

The wisdom? Are you sure? Because sometimes I be fucking. I'm like, damn, I wish I didn't know that shit. Can't believe I miss being able to pick it up.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Well, because of what you had to go through to know it. That's how I be feeling.

SPEAKER_04 31:52

I can't believe I miss being ignorant. Ignorance is bliss. Just ignorant. Ignorance is bliss. For real. What do you know now? It's for real, though. I do like that we have our experience. Experience, but we now with that, we we are in position to like uh set our own path. Like before we didn't know what the fuck we was doing. Now it's more like, okay, let's implement it. And now we have a little more oomph behind us to like do it. You know what I mean? So you get tired, but it's like I feel like your passion grows a little deeper when you have shit to lose, I guess. Oh god. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I I enjoy that, even though it makes me anxious as fuck. But yeah. Most definitely.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

I hate that I got shit to lose. Like, I'm dead ass. The motherfuckers is having the most fun in this world. Like, that's true. Like, I could crash out. I could really be like out here wilding. I can be a hoochie, for lack of better words. I I could really be doing a whole lot of shit if I didn't have shit to lose. Not saying I want to, but I'm just saying, like, that's a practical statement.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

They got hired. Take the head off.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Yeah, having shit to lose is that's that's that's what you know you gotta remove from your team. When you got them over there, you got shit to lose. They're dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

I think my favorite thing about being an adult now is when you get this opportunities to um flex on the young. And I mean in that in the sense of being in the basketball court. Because I hit up Curtis King uh a couple weeks ago, and I was like, hey man, if you ever trying to hoop, he was like, nigga, if I ever hoop, I have too much to lose. I said, see, I'm I haven't hit that point yet. Like where hitting the basketball court is a is a set risk that that can fuck up.

SPEAKER_04 33:48

Come on, drink his milk. That works because you are in shape.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Yeah, but I had to work to get to that shape, so I feel good about that. Good. Okay, because I just ran two weeks ago that didn't work.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Hamstring still fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

What's you know what's funny is that even being in shape, the wrong sleeping position can fuck up.

SPEAKER_05 34:09

I'm so old, goddammit. Fuck. I'm old and in shape.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

It don't matter how much shape I'm in, that that wrong sleeping position will fuck your whole week up.

Bills, Insurance, And Dental Nightmares

SPEAKER_04 34:17

You ever you ever had the cough while trying to sit up and fuck your whole back up? Like I was just I didn't think I can't do two things at once.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah, I was standing still talking to my friend the other day and had a back spasm and was fucked up in three days. Literally talking to her, dropping the baby off of daycare, me and her just talking, and I said, Oh shit. Yeah, hold on. Fucked up the whole rest of the week.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

I had the the the three and one. What did you knee gave away? I sneezed. Oh man. I caught a stomach cramp. My neck then hurt because I snapped down. So I have a stomach, a neck pain, and then yeah, my knee buckle.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Sneezes will fuck you up. That was dangerous.

SPEAKER_04 34:59

I said, God damn, I'm old. The knee buckle are the one that irritates the fuck out of me. Because it happened at such random time. Like I'm like, I'm just walking straight. I ain't trying to step over nothing. What the hell? Like that was me trying to flex on the young in the truck, tried to get out all smooth, and my knee said, uh Wow.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

You can't fall in front of them. I fell in front of my kids and some other kids like not long ago. And it's it was that. Kids ain't gonna let that shit go. They're gonna laugh right in your face. Hey, the craziest part was that it was in a serious moment.

SPEAKER_04 35:32

You're gonna it's gonna be three months from now. Hey, remember that time you failed? Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

Because I tried to walk up with the with, you know, a like I tried to walk up like the adult and fucking fit me up.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

That's why.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Like that was the worst thing.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

You didn't get away, and you bet not laugh.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

And I didn't even turn around and I knew my kids was in the car, just like you embarrassed. But it was like really a serious moment. Without getting into it, the police was there. Oh and the cop was like, that curve got me too. Like the fuck out of my face. I was so mad. I was what's going on here? Let's talk about what we're really here for.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

The fucking cop trying to bond.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

He did. He's like, he curb me too. Didn't get me.

SPEAKER_04 36:18

That was him letting you know.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Oh, I saw that shit.

SPEAKER_04 36:22

Don't you worry. That's up.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

It was a whole hour later. I was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:26

The curb is undefeated.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

That's like falling somebody random, just be like, Are you okay?

SPEAKER_04 36:31

The curb is undefeated.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

That's crazy.

Roles In Marriage And Family Logistics

SPEAKER_01 36:34

Uh so I guess I can ask what's your worst thing about adulting is everything, Bills.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

Responsibility.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

I just I I could go for a week without nobody asking me for anything.

SPEAKER_04 36:46

That's because you might you're a single mom.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Do you know what you mean? Well, yeah, no, it is.

SPEAKER_04 36:51

I imagine you probably got asked.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

Your wife could probably say this and she married.

unknown 36:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:55

Yeah. You know why she can? Because if she comes to me, I say go ask your mama.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Now that I think about it, because I felt this way when I was married. I could I could go an entire week with nobody asking me.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

Let me say this. I say go ask your mama because I'm not finna agree some shit and then you get me in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

What your mama say? Because you're not finna you're not finna, because yeah, right. Mama done said no. Now I'll say yes. Now I gotta fight her and you at the same time.

unknown 37:22

Fuck out.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

You said yes. Yeah, I don't I don't wanna I don't wanna make any decisions about anything for a whole week.

SPEAKER_04 37:31

That's how I'll be feeling all the time. What should we do? I don't know. You tell me what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

Literally, don't even ask me before we're going for lunch.

SPEAKER_04 37:38

What time do we gotta be there? Shit. Uh I think the worst part is people letting you down. Oh, okay. Having expectations of other adults, and then they do some shit. You let me down. And you'd be like, Ain't that some bullshit?

unknown 37:55

You know what though?

SPEAKER_02 37:57

I f I find myself not having expectations of people, not in like, you know, just really because like I can't even expect myself to do shit sometimes. I be trying to give people grace because of that reason. Like, people let you down, but then sometimes I'm like, damn, like people just be having a lot of shit going on. No, true, true.

Loss Of Illusions And Redefining Wealth

SPEAKER_04 38:17

But I mean, like, just but damn, just normal shit. I don't want to do too much because like it's like a nigga I work with where I'm just like, aren't you like grown? Why are you doing this? Like, yeah, and then you fucking all of us over, like, and you don't even realize that shit.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

So as a youth, no, fuck it. As an adult now, what thing did you take for granted in your youth physically that you would take back in a heartbeat today?

SPEAKER_04 38:49

My knees, my lower back, my hamstrings.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

We're doing one thing.

SPEAKER_04 38:54

Jesus. Well, give my knee back. Give my knee back. The wind, the wind that I had.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Somebody get these men some thing. Y'all in pain right now.

SPEAKER_04 39:02

Shit. Do you need lying?

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Get my knee back. I said my metabolism.

SPEAKER_04 39:08

Nah, fuck that.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

I can get that back. Not the not the one I had in youth.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

I I as a female, I you know, well, everybody, a lot of females say this. I wish I was the fat that I was when I thought I was fat.

SPEAKER_04 39:25

I thought I was fat at 21. I'm I wasn't fat at all.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

If I can be that I tell you, if I could be the fat I was at 17.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

As yeah, that shit that was a different fat. That shit happened. Uh it's a it's a trip because like people will tell you, oh man, you fat. And then you look back like, nigga, you lied to me this whole time.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Like I'm yeah. I I want to get back that fat.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

That is so we're gonna um I I found some uh some answers to people that also felt strongly about let's see if I can find them. My youthful exuberance. There we go. No, this is drinks. My bad. I was a good hugger. All right, here we go. That's a good hugger. This is one's realization about adulting that they. I have my own fallback plan. As a kid, my parents were my fallback plan. And as an adult, now I realize it's just me.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Yeah, okay. Y'all gonna make me cry.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

Another person's uh adulting moment was realizing still not knowing what you're supposed to do with your life. This one's per this person said the other others being less forgiving towards your mistakes and somehow expecting you to have shit figured out.

SPEAKER_04 40:43

Yeah. My therapist told me that one, though. That opened my eye.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

Say that again. Say it again.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Others being more others being less forgiving towards your mistakes and somehow expecting you to have shit figured out.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

Maurice, was this you? What happened? Your joints.

SPEAKER_04 40:59

Yeah, that's me. All of them. Elbow. I got one for them. Hair. Oh, I've been bald since 13 niggas. Oddly enough, I don't miss it. I don't miss my hair. And let me tell you why I don't miss my hair. Because when I hear how much niggas pay for haircuts now. Okay, fair, fair.

Hairlines, Haircuts, And Midlife Swagger

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

I would probably cut my shit bald anyway.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

Because I'm not you pay to get your hair bald.

SPEAKER_04 41:25

I'm not doing that shit.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

How much I pay in total? Yeah. About one. Please the fifth. 20. Shit. For the braiding and haircut.

SPEAKER_04 41:34

But that's a good deal.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

Yeah, no, that is.

SPEAKER_04 41:36

I know niggas that pay$100 just for the haircut. Yeah. That's why I be walking around nappy tongues.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

How long you've been bald? Huh? How long have you been bogged?

SPEAKER_04 41:44

I gave it up in my late 20s.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 41:46

So I would and I had I had hair, I would just take the clippers on zero and just and just buzz it all the way down. And then about around my 30s, it just stopped growing.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

Was it your hairline?

SPEAKER_04 41:55

No, I got a Jefferson.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

He said gave up.

SPEAKER_04 41:59

Just gave up.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

Shout out to Patrick.

SPEAKER_04 42:03

Gave up. I said, fuck it. Yeah, he's holding it. He's holding it.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

He's sticking it up.

SPEAKER_04 42:08

Holding it together. And every time I see that nigga, I bite, man, Patrick, I love you, bro. Give it up. Give it up. That's a lot of niggas that gotta get it. Just shave your head and focus on your beer.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

So this person said, although they realized it was harder, it was a harder time to make friends. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Do you want to make friends with me?

SPEAKER_01 42:27

I don't.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

I don't really want to.

SPEAKER_01 42:31

I don't. This one's a longer one. Pause. It's so boring. Paying bills, running errands, figuring out what to cook for dinner every fucking night. Fuck. Having hobbies, but being too tired to do them. And for middle-aged women, menopause is hell on earth. I had a hot flash in Walmart today. Within 90 seconds, my shirt was actually wet with sweat.

SPEAKER_04 42:51

Hold on, two things.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

What is this shit? It's ridiculous.

Dating, Identity, And Style Detours

SPEAKER_04 42:55

Two things. One, menopause is hell for everybody around her as well, because she's giving them hell. Okay. I went through that with my mama. It was a time in my life. I was standing, I had to move back home. I was standing with her, and she was going through menopause. And I said, I'd rather sleep in my goddamn car. Then to deal with this shit. Fuck that. Second thing is, Aaron's are a motherfucker. Yeah. They are. Those are my favorite things to do. Boom, doom, doom, doom, doom. That shit. Oh, you need me go to the store? I'll run to the store. Fuck that. Well, I mean, I'll be out there. This past week the wife was sick, so I was I was getting up, making breakfast, taking her to school, going to the gym after school, then I would run the errands, then go pick her up from school, take her, take her from school to practice, then go back, get her from practice, take her home. And I look up, it's 9:30. Go, what the fuck I do with my day, stuff do shit for other people.

SPEAKER_03 43:58

Yeah, running errands.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

Fuck that.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Yeah, running errands.

SPEAKER_04 44:03

Taking in the fresh air. I told her I got a different appreciation for you because I can't do this shit. Fuck this. This shit birds.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

To continue on, she says, What is this shit? It's ridiculous. It's a design flaw. When you're a kid, you think being an adult means you can do whatever you want, but that is a mile away from the truth. Being an adult means doing what you have to do and it never ends.

SPEAKER_04 44:23

Never fucking ends. Well, ever. You can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

And then in parentheses, also I think menopause has made me a cranky bitch.

SPEAKER_02 44:33

She just stayed on menopause. Yes, I'm sweating right now. First of all, menopause is not for middle-aged women. It's older than that. Because middle-age is like my age. And I'm far from menopause. So she's tripping.

SPEAKER_04 44:47

Maybe she's very menopausal.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

Maybe she just has a skewed vision or what middle age is.

SPEAKER_04 44:53

Well, she's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

I don't even know. I I used to think that middle age was like 35, they would say back when we were kids, but now I don't know what the hell it is.

SPEAKER_04 45:00

Well, it depends on because for me, I always say I hit my middle ages when I was in college.

SPEAKER_02 45:09

I mean we'll make it much longer. This gotta be the middle.

SPEAKER_04 45:14

Minute 25 and swap in.

Straight Talk For The Youth

SPEAKER_01 45:17

This one says, tell me why a root canal costs$1,000. And my dumbass thought, oh, it's fine. I can live with the pain because I have to pay rent. But no, apparently, if you if you don't get this taken care of, it spreads to your bloodstream and you die. So I ended up in the hospital needing a double root canal and spent$5,000. This should be illegal.

SPEAKER_03 45:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

How did that nigga get insurance? No, but dental insurance is stupid. It's for nothing.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

Nah, that's hell no. I ain't never paid that much for that.

SPEAKER_01 45:47

Go to jail. Uh uh.

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Go to jail.

SPEAKER_01 45:50

Let a man step on your chest.

SPEAKER_02 45:51

That nigga step put his foot in your chest and get that. For$10.$10.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Uh cigarettes. I have to make meals like multiple times a day. I actually have to go to the grocery store and plan out meals and then cook them. That's their take care of myself.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

Shut up. Shut up.

SPEAKER_04 46:14

But when you think but when you think about it.

SPEAKER_03 46:16

That's what they say.

SPEAKER_04 46:17

It's true. But when you think about it, if you're trying to be financially responsible and so you start cooking every meal, that shit is exhausting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:25

No, it's not. It depends on if you like to cook or not.

SPEAKER_04 46:28

That ain't true because I love cooking. But then I'd be like, I don't want to make this fucking.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:33

We're going to be eating rice and canned string beans. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

But just because you love to cook don't mean that you want to cook Thanksgiving every day, but you don't mind cooking.

SPEAKER_04 46:44

I I have a love-hate relationship with cooking. I gotta be in the mood. I used to cook all the time. Now I'm like, man, I ain't wanna cook shit. I don't want to scramble a goddamn egg. Damn. That's the easiest. I don't, and that's why we taught her how to do it, so now she scrambles.

SPEAKER_02 46:59

Wait, hers and the baby?

SPEAKER_04 47:02

Yeah, she makes her breath now.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_04 47:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:05

How does she? Eight. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 47:07

That's that's she'll be frying chicken next year.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

So the stark realization that all people I looked up to had no absolutely no fucking idea what the hell they were doing. I honestly believe that all people over 25 years old had it all figured out. And now as I sit here almost 50, I am painfully aware that each day is a blessing and a curse. I have zero control or knowledge of how each day will go down, nor will I come up with the mayhem of that is my life. It is all very, very, very random. Don't bank on anything.

SPEAKER_04 47:38

That's true. Because you don't understand though until you become an adult that you literally you you are winging this shit. You you kind of taking it as it comes. Like you have you have an understanding of what you should do with in life as far as you know, get education, get a job, you know, provide, have a job. But everything else, all the problems that come with that, you deal with that shit as they come.

Vitamins, Doctors, And Closing Cheers

SPEAKER_02 47:58

And then not even even the blueprint you just gave ain't even the route. Because it's it's you know what I'm saying? Like, and that's what's fucked up. Because yeah, oh, get an education, get a job. Okay, well, my education didn't give me a job. Now what do I do? Or I got an education and a job, but my life is miserable. Now what do I do?

SPEAKER_04 48:16

Well, I would say for women, it's easy to get money.

SPEAKER_02 48:21

It's not.

SPEAKER_04 48:22

It is. Just make sure you eat your food.

SPEAKER_02 48:24

Are you are you talking about the obvious reason of what you're saying? Or do you mean like we could just go have a man pay for us?

SPEAKER_04 48:32

I'm talking about what sugar freak said. Oh, the tradition.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Okay, uh, I don't that you can't just live your life however.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

You have to work.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

Then there are bills to pay.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

Like, I'm not gonna say shit else either.

SPEAKER_01 48:56

Yeah. I wish I could be 17 again, don't we?

SPEAKER_04 48:59

I wish people knew that. Yeah. About health insurance. Like, I get mad now. Like when I'll be talking to people and I'm like, Nick, you don't what? Like, just go work anywhere, they guess. Like, what you talking about? Yeah, because because some insurance is better than no insurance. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

Well, life insurance too. I always tell my family better not be selling no plates for me when I die. Uh y'all, I'm yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:21

Don't do that, right? I'm just if my wife is selling plates when I die, she's lying. Hey, no, because she's double giving.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

She's double giving out.

SPEAKER_04 49:31

She's keeping the money for herself. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:34

This one says, aging parents, sooner or later they won't be here anymore.

SPEAKER_04 49:38

That's true. And that's it's sad. Oh, I thought it was like, damn, that's cynical as fuck. Like, was that supposed to No, it's sad.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

That's the truth.

SPEAKER_01 49:46

Uh this one says how complicated life gets. There are so many bills, insurances, and payments to manage. It's a huge mental load sometimes. I just can't let them go, otherwise, you your life fall can fall apart.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

It's always something coming up.

SPEAKER_04 50:01

Yeah, way that ain't expected shit. Yeah, that's fuck on that's you gonna drop when you don't want it to.

SPEAKER_02 50:07

Can I ask you two that are married, like, how do you share in that?

SPEAKER_04 50:11

Like how do I share in what?

SPEAKER_02 50:14

How do you share in uh the duty of there's always some shit to do? I mean like is it you do these things and I do this thing?

SPEAKER_04 50:26

Oh yeah, we got we got that. We have very defined roles in my marriage.

SPEAKER_02 50:30

Very defined roles when it comes to responsibility. Okay. Do you mean just it's like, oh, remember so-and-so got a dentist appointment? Or is it like that was my lane and I better make sure that's what we map everything.

SPEAKER_04 50:46

Yeah, in the in the doctor, like like everything, we we have a family calendar, obviously. We both have iPhones, so when she adds something, I add something, it's there. And then it's generally her responsibility to take the child to any of her doctoral appointments, and I I obviously drive myself to mine. But for the most part, the way it's set up is we we both have our roles to play and we play them, and I mean we ask each other for help from time to time when we get.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 51:11

Yeah, ours is based off schedules. Yeah. Whoever can get it done.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Oh, gotcha. Just out of curiosity.

SPEAKER_04 51:19

I mean, I mean, if she wants to take over, she can. I mean I'm sure some people run around and got their hair on fire and like, oh fuck it, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

The next one says loss of innocence.

SPEAKER_04 51:33

I'm still innocent.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

Um this one, I'm trying to um I remember being a kid and seeing my single mom having to work and pay bills and taxes, seeing that started my depression and gave me anxiety about growing up. Now I'm growing up and I'm doing the exact same thing my mom was doing. Working to pay bills and taxes just to get by. People say that you can be whatever you want to be and define who you are, but in reality, you are what you spend most of your time doing. I'm doing okay, and I have degrees, and I've attempted to start a business and try to become a financially free, but no to no success yet. The chances of someone achieving large wealth is slim. The only thing I can really do or what most humans can do is enjoy what they eat and drink and enjoy what they do for a living, do good and treat others good while they are alive and do the best that to they can to be happy.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

Yeah, the latter half. Well, that all depends on what you um identify as wealth. Focus on that to what you got.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

The last mic drop here. This one, this one is when I stopped. Uh being invited to your high school's 50 reunion.

SPEAKER_04 52:51

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

Out of the blue, finding out their classmates went on to be CEOs, various corporate leaders, and when they find out you recently lost your job, all they can say is, but you were smart. That is adulting. Damn. Cause fuck.

SPEAKER_04 53:05

Hey, where this nigga go to school at? Because it sounds like he hung out with the wrong motherfuckers. He hung out with the wrong motherfuckers. I'm gonna sound like none of them niggas called, like, hey, uh, so down on your luck.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Nigga, I'm still smart if you're a CEO.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

That was adulting.

SPEAKER_02 53:24

Yeah. That's so sad.

SPEAKER_04 53:26

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of the word adulting. I'm like, I feel like as an adult, you shouldn't say adulting, because that's some kid shit. Right.

SPEAKER_02 53:33

It's because we're gonna say the worst hood.

SPEAKER_04 53:35

Does that mean I'm still in my youth? Yeah, no. The worst hood I've ever been a part of is adulthood. Yeah. Ooh, for real. Damn, man.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

Y'all big niggas be making it's fun, guys. It's not that bad. The thoughts of Kevin Wendell or Kevin Wendell's alone.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Yeah, though, that's him.

SPEAKER_04 53:54

I wrapped up with an ace bandage the other day, and I was like, this ain't too bad. This is cool. At least I can afford this ace bandage. In my youth, when I was hurt, nigga, I was just hurt.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

Like I said, I like the experience and the wisdom that comes with it. But uh the day-to-day is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 54:12

And it had no doctors at 20, 25. I was just like, uh Well, I joined the Navy, so I had I had a doctor at that point.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Back then, uh I just had colognes.

SPEAKER_04 54:24

Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Now Icy Hot is part of my cologne regimen. Like you remember, oh, you smell icy hot at some point.

SPEAKER_04 54:30

Oh, so you got to blend?

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Oh, yeah, Icy Hot. I said Ben Gay. That's some old shit. I think that's that old nigga blend.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

That's tiger bomb is that old shit.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

Ain't got the roll on the ball. I won't say ben gay because I don't want to misconstrued. Oh, been gay?

SPEAKER_02 54:45

We're only as young as we feel, though. I already got the joke.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Oh, well then I'm 58.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

No. Oh you said Ben gay? Ben gay. I don't want to misconstrued. So I don't. Oh, you been gay. No, I know. I I was rubbing a Ben Gay on. Ben gay.

SPEAKER_02 55:03

Ben gay.

SPEAKER_01 55:04

Part of the cologne. I was talking about the okay.

SPEAKER_04 55:10

Hey, old nigga swag is still swag, so don't don't feel bad about that. You know what I'm saying? When homie said, Ain't I fresh? He was fresh. To him. Hey, that shit was clean and it was crisp. Self-image is everything. You're right. That's what I'm saying. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

You gotta embrace a real, if you really want gonna be an old nigga, you just gotta be an old nigga. Yes. If I date a man that's 50 years old, I want to date a man that's 50 years old. I don't want to date a man that's 50 because he acts like he's 30.

SPEAKER_04 55:39

Well, I've been like I'm 57 for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

See, that opens up a whole other thing for me.

SPEAKER_04 55:45

Ask the question. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 55:46

Because like I was saying, I still confused by women that said they were lesbians and date studs.

SPEAKER_02 55:52

Because if you How the fuck did that get there?

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Our brain just took it. It was like if you're gonna if you're gonna say you're a lesbian, then date somewhere you think looks like, but why date the one that acts like the man?

SPEAKER_04 56:02

Because she wants she wants some man features, but she wants that man, those those man features to be accompanied with some female features.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

No, it's still confusing to me.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

If you like men, you like men, then you if you like women, you like women. But if you said you like a woman that look acts and like a looks and acts just like a nigga, it's like then you kind of like men too, right?

SPEAKER_02 56:22

Bruce Jenner became a woman and dated women. Nigga, you straight.

SPEAKER_01 56:26

Yeah, you straight. You just like dress like that.

SPEAKER_02 56:29

You're straight.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

So I feel I get my brain took it there because you said, yeah, why why if you're gonna date a 50-year-old, you're dating a 50-year-old, why are you gonna date the 50 year old that acts like he's 30? Like, why my brain took it there? It's like, well, if yeah, if you're gonna say you like women, then like women.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

Like women, like I agree. I wouldn't, if I like women, I wouldn't like studs.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

I don't you don't know that because waves is cleaner than mine.

SPEAKER_04 56:51

I feel like there's a good chance with the 50-year-old that that makes just going through a midlife crisis. I've never guessed it. I've never seen a stud that hair wasn't better than mine.

SPEAKER_01 57:00

That that they be in the hair wasn't better than that. Yeah, you like you gotta ask in the regiment. Like, what is the wave?

SPEAKER_04 57:06

They should be on point.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Do rags be on point.

SPEAKER_02 57:09

Manny fresh can stay the fuck away from me. Not Manny Fresh.

SPEAKER_04 57:13

I do not want to but but the house is real big. Carl's real big. Everything real big.

SPEAKER_02 57:20

Everything real big.

SPEAKER_04 57:22

Everything real big.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

So as long as she buys it that big, what's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 57:28

Wisdom, since we're all adults here, and that's part of being an adult. It's wisdom. What wisdom would you give to the youth that may or may not listen to these aunts and uncles on this podcast?

SPEAKER_04 57:44

Wisdom? Don't listen to nobody, nigga. Drink your milk. Don't listen to no motherfucking body. Ain't nobody know what the fuck they're talking about. Everybody gonna tell you they know what they're talking about. Just figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 57:54

Drink milk and apparently 211 is an energy drink.

SPEAKER_02 57:57

It is.

SPEAKER_01 57:57

And don't take that shit too serious. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:00

Find yourself and clear the outside noise.

SPEAKER_01 58:04

Yes. I just know.

SPEAKER_04 58:08

Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 58:09

Stay stretching. I was saying and be mindful when you sneeze.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

Oh, yes, that's very important. And everybody ain't got their shit together.

SPEAKER_02 58:19

Everybody constiping together.

SPEAKER_04 58:20

Everybody fronting, but ain't nobody had their shit together. So a lot of these motherfuckers constipated.

SPEAKER_01 58:26

Very. Don't don't slack on your magnesium.

SPEAKER_04 58:30

Not at all. You don't realize how how important this shit is. Take your vitamins. That's funny how much that now you say it, you're like, yeah, take your goddamn vitamins.

SPEAKER_01 58:42

Because you he's like, damn, like it's it gets bad. Yeah. And you're like, you don't realize it till you go to the doctor and they say it's bad. And you're like, it's bad.

SPEAKER_04 58:48

Yeah, it's bad.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

Damn, I thought I was good.

SPEAKER_03 58:50

You don't want to be 40 and be like, what are you eating? Well, my doctor said, Kevin, you're growing breast. I was like, what you say, nigga?

SPEAKER_04 58:59

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 58:59

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_04 59:00

Damn. I would have swung on his ass.

SPEAKER_02 59:03

What did you say? That's that liver you eat.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

Just tell me to work out.

SPEAKER_04 59:07

I came here. I came here for an appointment, left here with a case.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

So, with that being said, this has been episode 226 of the Heavyweight Podcast. We appreciate you guys rocking with us.

SPEAKER_04 59:20

Go Broncos.

SPEAKER_01 59:22

Like, subscribe, share, comment, edit that out. The Bronco part. Next time, we love you. Peace. Peace.

SPEAKER_00 59:34

Sweaty. That's a rap, you know. That's that's how she wrote. So make sure you click like, subscribe. Tune in. We're on our room platform. So until next time. Well hi at you.