The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
The Weight We Carry: Men's Mental Health Journey
What happens when Black men stop suffering in silence?
In this deeply honest episode of The Heavyweight Podcast, we unpack the weight that many men carry silently—battling mental health, masculinity, racial identity, and trauma in a world that rarely gives them space to breathe.
It all starts with one question: "How are you feeling mentally today?"
What follows is a flood of stories, truths, and confessions:
🧠 Emotional breakdowns on Navy ships after years of repression
🏢 Confronting unhealed trauma from toxic work environments
🌍 Finding clarity abroad—and realizing how broken things are at home
⚡️ Sebastian’s vulnerable journey as a Black gay man, wrestling with identity, faith, and acceptance
💥 The damage of phrases like “man up” and what real emotional regulation looks like
🛑 The emotional toll of men being expected to provide without being given space to feel
This episode challenges stereotypes and shines a light on the urgent need for safe spaces—for men to be heard, supported, and seen.
Whether you're a man dealing with emotional weight, or someone who loves one, this conversation offers healing, hope, and the first step toward wholeness.
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 2:The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can weigh in on some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
Speaker 3:Oftentimes, men's pain and suffering goes unnoticed. They're expected to be strong and resilient, without addressing exactly what they're feeling mentally. Today, episode 201, we're going to get heavy with mental health, as this is Men's Mental Health Month. So I'm back, there's the diva with, of course, my three favorite gentlemen and an amazing guest that I've known for years here to pop his shit.
Speaker 1:Everybody introduce yourself for those who don't know, I'm Clifton Hanks. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:We're addressing his mental health first, go ahead.
Speaker 4:That's it, yeah. Cl clifton hanks.
Speaker 3:Nothing to do with cliff it's your boy, molito and I'm uh allergy mcfly oh man, sneezing, ass, nigga, I got it I'm bashed a big homie with a duty big homie bash. How was your week, gentlemen?
Speaker 1:lovely, lovely. It was good, I gotta you got what fill the pool up. Okay, yeah, and before you answer, seems so excited don't I?
Speaker 3:instead of telling me how your weeks were, tell me how you feeling mentally today? Shit?
Speaker 1:it's mental health month, I gotta fill the pool up. Let's get health month. I gotta feel the pull up, let's get heavy, and then I gotta skim it.
Speaker 3:What the fuck did that mean?
Speaker 1:Then I gotta turn the motherfucking filter on and then make sure the timer's right.
Speaker 3:So you're dry, you're over it.
Speaker 2:I need a therapist.
Speaker 3:You need a therapist. I'm in school.
Speaker 2:Because everything he said I took sexual. I don't know why it like fill the pull up. Is that some sort of sexual reference dive in it?
Speaker 3:huh you either need a you either need a therapist you either need a therapist or you need to capitalize on that. Get your little OnlyFans it might be some change might be some change in it for you.
Speaker 1:I think we're like three episodes deep when we've mentioned the only listen I mean, if it's wet it is.
Speaker 4:Technically it's a pool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like this nigga here said, he's swimming anything let's let's see if it's wet how you feeling mentally you know, then I'm gonna have some shit to it. I'm not doing this with you we're not gonna be 45 minutes to this shit.
Speaker 4:How you feeling mentally I'm fucked up.
Speaker 1:I shouldn't have laughed. I apologize, that was wrong.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, hopefully we address that throughout the questions hopefully we address that throughout the questions, then we can make you feel a little bit better for you.
Speaker 5:Hopefully we address that throughout the questions, then we can make you feel a little bit better.
Speaker 4:Okay, so you want me to answer. I'm not talking about my week.
Speaker 3:No, I want you to tell me how you feeling mentally today. We're talking about mental health I'm just getting through it.
Speaker 4:You know the week was rough, so I'm getting through it.
Speaker 3:It is what it what it is Money spent all the time, all the time, this shit on house shit. When you spend your money you need to start saying all the money I spend returns with friends.
Speaker 4:Does it, it's a mantra and it works. Does it?
Speaker 3:Trust me.
Speaker 4:The money I spent this week returned and came back with hot water. Because, I need that goddamn hot water replaced.
Speaker 2:So it came replace. So he came back in hot water.
Speaker 1:Let me fly talk to me how you feeling I feel good.
Speaker 2:Um, I took my kids to uh, eritopia, yeah, flex the. The agreement was that if they stopped giving us hell, I would take them to a place when they finished school and I took them to eritopia. The whole drive there they kept asking where they were going. I kept saying I was going to leave them in the mountains and tell them to fend for themselves. And then we finally got there and they were excited and to see their faces light up, it was worth the money I spent.
Speaker 3:I'm assuming that's like a jump trampoline trampoline.
Speaker 5:They have like a, it's like an climbing until, yeah, they have our kids it was worth it.
Speaker 2:They got the bash the sky maze and then they have the nerd down, the monthly. I was like I'm not doing that, that monthly payment a little fee.
Speaker 3:Yeah, is it a far drive not for me, no because I feel like when you take kids to that little jumping shit, they sleep a long ass time after that so you might want to try to hayden do shit, hayden be. Oh, I'll take Hayden Jazz to go jump any damn day, yeah.
Speaker 4:I gotta take her to to Jumperoo. Yeah, it's cheaper than Disneyland I gotta take her and feed her, give her a bunch of sugar your baby like real food.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she wanna eat some fun shit. Yeah, yeah, please help me out.
Speaker 4:I need money. How you feeling?
Speaker 5:I'm good, I mean, I'm blessed, that's number one absolutely like you know, as long as. I wake up and I feel blessed every day.
Speaker 5:I mean, you can't go wrong with that facts absolutely it don't really matter how I actually feel, like you know. Yeah, it's all about, you know, just being blessed and waking up every day and just living, trying to live your best life that day not even your best life, just trying to be your best person that day. You know, even if that's you being on some bullshit like you still gotta be a good person.
Speaker 4:So well, my wife always say every day is a good day if you don't believe it, you don't believe it, try missing one damn she didn't miss on that one every day I wake up.
Speaker 5:I'm a morning person. I wake up five o'clock in the morning almost every single day, even if I don't got nothing to do, and I just wake up and I just be happy. I'm a happy person.
Speaker 3:I love that. I do get that vibe from you. I've always gotten that vibe from you. So I've always gotten that vibe from you that you're just a generally a happy person.
Speaker 5:I'm a happy person. I wake up happy every day. I'm a morning person. I be pissing people off. Yeah, I.
Speaker 3:I'm a morning person as well, so I definitely get that. So we're going to go ahead and start off with these questions, gentlemen, and we're going to start on this side of the room, can you?
Speaker 1:share a moment with me in your life where you realized that mental health was something that you needed to pay close attention to, when?
Speaker 3:I was crying on the ship. You know I hear a lot of people. My husband was also in the Navy and I hear a lot of people say that they had a lot of mental health moments on the Navy ship.
Speaker 1:We got a lot of time to think I ain't got shit else to do. So I think I started thinking about a whole lot and then it's kind of unprovoked crying and shit and then thinking about a whole bunch of stuff from my past. To unprovoked crying and shit. And then thinking about a whole bunch of stuff from my past and then, um, I realized I hadn't cried for like I'm pretty sure, but like 15 years or something like that in that moment. So I was like, oh, I probably should focus on that shit. Like I said, I think I've told this, but I went a little far in the uh, getting in touch with my mental health. Like there was points where I was like crying at commercials and shit, but I was like fuck it, man, just let it all out. It's cool, it was a fun moment, it was weird.
Speaker 1:I was crying and watching shit I shouldn't be crying to.
Speaker 4:I was like I shouldn't be crying to this the crying was fun, yeah, just letting shit out.
Speaker 3:It was weird, but it was like oh okay, you find beauty in some crazy shit and that's okay. That's why I love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, is that not good, was that bad?
Speaker 3:I mean because I think I'm watching the Tide with a fucking bleach commercial and I'm boo-hoo crying.
Speaker 1:It would be commercials and shit. I'm just like, oh, fuck it Wow wow, po baby molito, um, it's, it's.
Speaker 3:Can you share a moment in your life when you realized that mental health was something you needed? To pay attention, to go ahead and tell them you forgot the question.
Speaker 4:I didn't forget the question. I see you leaning. I did not forget the question. Uh, I just the moment I have in mind.
Speaker 3:I haven't really spoke about you don't need to speak about that you don't need to speak about that at all. You don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4:Whatever, if it's something you don't need to speak about, if you haven't spoken about it yet don't fly knows what happened, but what happened last year is probably when I really took it serious. Um fuck, I just say it. I don't know, it don't affect me, like I used to. Um last year in my place of employment, I had an individual use me as a way to end his life and that was really heavy on me last year and that's really what started my health, my therapy journey.
Speaker 3:I knew that.
Speaker 2:Oh, you knew that you told me oh, I did, you did tell yeah, I didn't know, I forget.
Speaker 3:I just didn't bring it back up because it wasn't my business. And you listen I respect.
Speaker 4:See, I don't put dads and respect in the same that's unfortunate.
Speaker 3:That's unfortunate because I definitely respected your boundaries and you shared something with me that was personal and private and I didn't share it and I didn't repeat it. You don't need to be. You don't need to be. You be talking shit, but I actually do care about you. Oh, and I and I did see the change in the growth in you after you started going to therapy.
Speaker 4:So, nigga, I've been saying positive shit about you this whole time. Shout out to dr williams, no, shout out for it, she'd be gonna. She'd be gonna, she'd be on me. God damn she by now. Listen, I'm like look here. And then the the thing is, she know I like nigga shit. So then she started talking to me like I'm a nigga and it'd really be?
Speaker 2:did she pull out spades is?
Speaker 3:she black, yeah she black, come on now, I mean, I knew, but I just had to hear you say it, did you ask.
Speaker 2:Did she pull spades?
Speaker 3:she didn't pull spades out, but if she did, he'd be recommending her ass to everybody.
Speaker 4:Look here pull up.
Speaker 2:She pulled spades out in the middle of her fucking therapy session.
Speaker 4:It's weird but the references she'd be using is like we talk, we have full therapy. We talking black. So if you listen to the transcript you're like damn what they talking about, like we don't. You have to be black to understand what's going on make fly.
Speaker 2:Uh, it's probably recently, um, I know when, uh, I took it rough when my dad died and, um, I found myself momentary like it would be weird things that just set me off and it made me think about hurting myself, and so I realized it's a daily struggle and so you don't just suddenly get over things like that. But it's so. It was recently and it just made me realize that at certain times you just gotta take a step back, breathe, refocus and, uh, realize what you're doing this for, um, and it's for my kids. So, like I said, it's uh, sometimes I I'm strong, other times I'm just fucking ready to say fuck it, but it is just being able to step back, refocus and go right back to work with the, with the whole plan.
Speaker 3:So, that's just being human, yeah well, I'm glad that you didn't follow suit with anything that you thought and you're still here with us. We definitely love you and you're supported amongst this cast, for sure.
Speaker 3:100 so I'm definitely glad that you didn't take any of those measures. Um, bash it's, um, can you? I'll always read the question back for you. Don't ship, because let me tell you something, I'm the queen, I'll read the shit and I know what. I just read and wrote the shit my damn self, so I'll definitely always read it back. Just tell me, you forgot it's. Can you share a moment in your life when you realized that mental health was something that you needed to pay attention to?
Speaker 5:if I had to say, I would honestly say when I so I recently went to thailand in february and, um, when I was out there, there's a there's a sense of peace there that you can't get in the states or in this side of the world. And I remember leaving thailand and I was in the car on the way back to the airport and I just started crying, just bawling tears, like just literally, just like uncontrolled crying, like the guy driving me was like are you good, are you all right? And I'm like yeah, but like just knowing that I had to come back here did not make me feel, didn't make me feel like at ease. And that's when I knew that, like that like okay, I'm unhappy where I'm at, and I didn't even think I didn't even there wasn't even something that was in the back of my mind or anything. I didn't think that I was unhappy here, um, but that told me that I was unhappy, like you know, like I was unhappy here, and like being there and having that sense of peace and having to come back to this, like my mind could not fathom that, like I just could not imagine me living my life, like I couldn't imagine being here no longer than the time I'm going to be here. I'm leaving in two weeks back to Thailand.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, so like, but I couldn't the fact that I knew that I had to come back here I just cried uncontrollably all the way back to the airport, the whole way home. That's when I knew that there was like okay, like I'm not happy where I'm at. I didn't even it wasn't. It was something that I was even thinking about, though. So I knew that mental health was definitely important, but I've never really been like a mental health person. That's like, like you know, like topsy turvy, like you know, like I've always, my mind is always very, very sna, like. I'm not one of those people who, like I, don't have mental health issues. Well, at least I didn't think so.
Speaker 5:Like you know, but yeah, that's. That's the time that I honestly have to say.
Speaker 3:I'm glad you said that for two things. First, let me congratulate you because God has aligned you to where you're going to be able to be, where your peace is, so I'm glad that that's happening for you. He did that for a reason.
Speaker 5:He definitely knew he was like this is not it for him? He needs to get out of this environment and, honestly, I would have never, ever had the courage to move all the way to Thailand if it wasn't for me finding God. I'm glad If it wasn't for me getting baptized and finding Jesus. You exchange rate? I mean the cards are, I mean the everything, all the stars just aligned for me? I'm just not kidding. Yeah, everything worked. I'm gonna be making us money in a foreign country where the money oh yeah, yeah, you're gonna be a king all you need is all you need is 14 out there you mentioned.
Speaker 3:You mentioned right now that you didn't know that you were having those issues, and that's the narrative with so many people and I think it happens a lot amongst men because you're not trained to pay attention to that, you're not given I'm not going to say trained, you're not given the grace to pay attention to that. Men are expected to behave a certain way, no matter what they're feeling, which causes you to suppress it and not even think that you're having that issue. So that was a very powerful statement. I'm glad you brought that to light. Definitely, for sure.
Speaker 5:I feel like if you don't have a relationship with God, then, yeah, you're going to have mental health issues. If you are trying to go through life alone and do it all on your own, you can't. You can't, bro, you're not strong enough. So, yes, you're going to have mental health issues because you're trying to carry all of this baggage by yourself. It's not for you to carry, it's for him to carry, it's for Jesus to carry, it's for God to carry, period. If you give it to him, you don't have to worry about it. Now you can go, live your life and be the best person that you can be. I mean, that's just, that's all I can say.
Speaker 5:Like, if that's why I say I don't really have, I don't really feel like I have mental health issues, but at moments I do feel weak. At moments I do feel like, you know, like damn, this is rough, this is hard, but you have to give your life to him in order for you to get past all of these hard times. It's not for us to carry, and that's why I feel so light all the time. I that's why I feel so light. All the time I'm just saying like I'm not perfect. I go out here, I drink, I fornicate, I do all this, all the bad stuff, but Jesus is always the person that I go to when I feel like I have nothing. He's the person that I go to when I feel like I have it all. Like you know what I'm saying? Like eventually, all of these things, that happens. I'm going to praise him and put all of my issues and all of my struggles on to him, because that's what he wants us to do.
Speaker 3:So we definitely getting heavy today.
Speaker 5:I see we about to get real heavy today. I see it's men's mental health right.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. How is your identity as a black man shaped? Your understanding and experience of mental health, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll let you start who me? Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm looking right at you. Why you looking at me? Cause you do nigga shit, so that's about black me and go ahead spades period bones tongue all the nigga shit. I'm trying to get my my follow up, but we'll sing you every word to a Backstreet Boy and an NSYNC song.
Speaker 4:I'm trying to get my follow up to Teach my Play P. I teach my pinnacle.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'm not complete you learn that and you're gonna be the superior nigga shit doer of all times be captain nigga hell yeah how's my identity shaped? Yes. How has your identity shaped your understanding?
Speaker 4:it's hard. Well, I can't say as a black man, because I just feel like as a man, life is hard, period, but being the black part about it is growing up. This shit wasn't talked about. Yes, you man up, you know, you walk, yeah, walk this shit off. You hold your head up high. No matter what, you don't, you don't, you don't express your feelings or your woman type situation.
Speaker 4:But I feel like in my journey of what I've gone through and what I'm continuing to go through, I do feel like I'm a better person, doing the exact opposite, expressing myself, especially to my wife, and it's brought off. It's brought out a softer kind, more understanding me, because being able to understand myself has allowed me to be able to empathize with the people around me and even more closely the people I'm more closer to, so I can empathize the emotions and the feelings behind things. It's also helped me to identify what my triggers are. It's also helped me to identify how people, when people get out of character, I can, I know this is not who they are, it's not what they, just some. They they triggered. So I can, I can understand and identify when people are triggered, because I understand triggers now.
Speaker 4:So I felt like the work has been done. I don't think this necessarily, so I think my, my journey has shaped me greatly. I felt like I've profoundly, I would say. I felt like I'm better in all forms, all aspects of life. So but I have. But again, it didn't change until I actually made the active change to change, and the sad part about it is that I had to go through some dark shit to get there. So Kevin.
Speaker 1:Nikolai.
Speaker 3:Thank you for sharing, kevin Nikolai hey, do you not want to? Answer that one, because I'm not answering none of them. I'm not a man, so I don't know which one. Well, I don't know I'm. Oprah today period.
Speaker 1:I feel like I don't know if I've ever really played by the rules of like just being like a black man. You know what I mean. I've played by the rules of like just being like a black man, you know what I mean. I've played by just being me, like I've always run by that, so I guess it never really shaped me in that regard. I don't know, I think it's like everything you said, but it's like I feel like I was. I felt that way, like I've always been empathetic to people. I've always been like kind of connected to earth. Can I, can I, can I correct myself?
Speaker 4:When I, when I say empathetic, I mean I'm now empathetic to things that I didn't understand, so like like how me and McFly have similar upbringing and similar background. I can be empathetic because I understand the stance. Now I'm more empathetic to what Des is going through. I can't relate to what she's going through.
Speaker 1:I understand that, that's what I'm saying, but now I can, but I can now. You know what I'm saying it's a different level and I understood what you said you didn't have to cut me off you.
Speaker 2:I was just trying to clarify I'm not the only cutoffer.
Speaker 4:I just want to make that clear what the hell is a cutoffer.
Speaker 2:I never said that. You'll never hear me say that.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I think that's what shaped me the most is just accepting people for who they are. How do they say you accept a person as they present themselves. You don't try to take them as anything else. You take them as face value, and then you learn as they go. But I don't know. I think that's what shaped my way of thinking with everything. It's just I had to learn how to express over the years. So that's what I had to work on more than anything else.
Speaker 2:I need it. I'm having a dad's moment. Can you read the question back?
Speaker 3:please yeah. How has your identity as a black man shaped the way you understand your experiences?
Speaker 1:mental health Is that what I get? Yeah, that's what I get. Damn Damn she almost. She had a moment on top of yours.
Speaker 2:Can you repeat the question back, because you're saying as a black man?
Speaker 3:Yeah, as a black man. Yeah, as a black man. How is your identity as a black man shape the way that you understand the experience of mental health? You know what? And let me just be clear most of these questions I do ask you guys from a black man's perspective, because one, y'all are black. And then two, honestly, I think the way we, as black people, address mental health differs from other cultures, so that's why I wrote them that way. But if you want to answer it just from a man's perspective, please feel free to because I'm trying to, because they're, as a black man growing up.
Speaker 2:Uh, I will say there are a lot of uh situations that I'm sure we all of us can relate to, but I remember specifically, even as a kid, there were things that happened that kind of shaped how I thought about things. There was a time when, uh, me and my dad went to blockbuster I'm sure I've talked about this in this podcast before and there was these two white dudes and I was only like maybe seven or eight and they said something like oh, what do you call a little black boy? And they were like a or some shit like that. But it was things, things like that that I would constantly see, that made me feel like, as I got older, that I had to be empathetic towards people because I didn't want people to feel like I did. In that moment where I felt like helpless, like I was. I was eight, these are grown ass men making fun of me and I didn't know why. And when I asked my dad, he said they said that to you because I asked him after the fact and he said unfortunately, because of who you are and your skin color, you're going to have to deal with this constantly.
Speaker 2:So as I got older, I just kind of understood even with the dealing with relationships and things like that, you understand that and a lot of times that you're going to come across situations where people are going to treat you a certain way just because of your skin color. So you you come across you might like a girl because of this and she might not like you because of what your skin color is. So you kind of process that as you get that the world around you is not necessarily set up for fair. So in my mental health, like they've pointed out, you just start to be empathetic because you understand that there's a lot of shit that's out of your control. So you have to learn to navigate that and not just be so jaded or bitter, because I could have easily been just a bitter dude with a chip on the shoulder and be with exactly what they want us to be angry black people and I'm not going to be that for you just because you want me to be.
Speaker 2:So the empathy and my mental health was giving everybody their fucking flowers, being able to treat people how you want to be treated, regardless of what the situation. May you know what I'm saying. So, uh, for me, as far as my mental health, I've always treated people with respect, because that's what I would like to receive in return, so I hope I answered that very good way to turn your pain into power, because a lot of your stories are like something bad happened.
Speaker 3:But I found a way to make that beautiful and I'm starting to notice that you're becoming like that as well, like something bad you're. You're a nice nigga. You try to be like crazy on the show, but you're really nice, like for real for all. You're real nice. You be fucking with me on this show, but for real for you, nice. And I noticed that the two of you turned, like what the pain and the sorrow into something beautiful.
Speaker 4:Nigga, ain't nobody lying on you, cuz okay I'm sorry, what you heard me did you cut yourself off are you gonna let sebastian answer the question or not?
Speaker 3:get out my business? Do the part you're supposed to do, sebastian. Do you need me to read the question back for you? Yeah, okay. How has your identity as a black man shaped the way that you understand and experience mental health?
Speaker 5:um, well, my identity is a little bit different than the other men at this table because I'm very gay and, um, honestly, growing up was very hard because I didn't know how to process that. Like I didn't come out and say I'm a gay man until I was 22 years old, like you know, like I, it took a long and I still to this day, like it's still very uncomfortable for me to say sometimes I have to walk in pride because I can't be like, well, I'm gay. Like you know what I'm saying. Like you know, like, stand up for, like you know, but it still doesn't sit right with me. It still doesn't sit right with me but at the end of the day, it's who I am and it's going to be who I am until it's not who I am.
Speaker 5:So growing up was very, very, I would say, tough, just because I didn't know my identity and everyone was telling me that I was something that I didn't know, that I was Like you know, everyone's telling me that you know you're feminine, you're gay, you're like, how are you going to tell me what I am? I don't even know. Like you know what I'm saying. Like it was, it was different, but that's why I fought a lot and I used to beat niggas out.
Speaker 5:He was knocking niggas out back then too, and that's how, like you know, that's how that stopped. Like you know them, like saying like oh, that's where you got the name Bash.
Speaker 3:He ain't the big homie.
Speaker 5:for nothing, nigga, I'm just saying I'm not the big homie for nothing, I'm definitely not the little one, but I had to fight Like you know what I'm saying, because niggas thought I was soft, like you know, and that shaped who I am today. Like you know what I'm saying, like still to this day, it's still very hard. Like, even though I did have a feminine phase of my gay life and my whole gay journey, I had a very, very feminine phase, but that was a phase, like you know what I'm saying, we all go through that in the gay world. When you are out and you know what I'm saying and you hanging out with, you know, the gays and you, you know it, it rubs off on you. Like you know, you're still trying to find yourself. So, um, what I? To answer the question? Um, I knew that I had to be extremely confident, even if I wasn't. So that's how, that's how I can answer your question.
Speaker 5:Like, I never really looked at myself as someone who has, like, mental health issues, because I've always had to be extremely confident. That's not saying that I don't have mental health issues, like you know, but I just can't fathom myself to say that because I'm just not. I have this armor always up. Like you know, it's very hard for me to let that armor down because I don't trust people. Like you know what I'm saying. Sometimes I don't trust people Like you know what I'm saying. Sometimes I trust people way too easily. Sometimes I give people my trust way too quick and then they hurt me.
Speaker 5:Like you know, and then, like you know, like my cutoff came, it's unmentionable, it's insane. Like I will fall back so hard you'll think I died, I'll be damned. You'll think I died. Like where the hell did this nigga go? Go, like I don't I can cut somebody off so quick. I can like you so much and cut you off so fast just to protect my own peace. Like you know, I'm saying like I've been through a lot, get it. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So, um, I hope that answered the question it did, it did and I'm I'm gonna you mentioned. Yeah, of course I didn't want to. It's okay go ahead.
Speaker 2:You said, as you were saying, that it made me think about uh. Rest in peace to levand. You had a when levand passed. You had a post when you were. You were talking about him and you were bigging him up for always respecting you for who you are. I know this is random, but I remember that, yeah, he never.
Speaker 5:He never treated me different. Like you know, he treated me like how he treated any other nigga and he he would roast me or he would try, because you know I got jokes too yeah, so he would try to roast me and shit. Like you know, like he still treated me like he never treated me like the gay nigga and like you know, that's when I always felt like I had to protect myself, like when niggas started treating me like the gay nigga. You're not gonna. You're not gonna make. Don't start crying I cannot hear.
Speaker 2:Rest in peace, levan, and not cry I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to, I just um, yeah, like he always treated me like a person.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I know I always felt seen when I was around him and losing him was very hard for everybody and he was a good dude, like he was a good, real good dude. So it's definitely damn thank you, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I know I wasn't trying to like I said.
Speaker 3:I remember that it popped in my head it's just, it's still just unbelievable that he's not here to be honest, it's a lot to deal with Losing people we just lost.
Speaker 5:I just lost Tracy. Like you know, like we're getting to that age where people gonna start dying. Like you know, and like, if you look at it in a, if you look at it in a in a selfish way, then you'll be sad about it all the time. But life is so hard that it has to be easier. On the other side, and I have to constantly tell myself that because I've lost my sister, I've lost my mother, and in order for me to get by, I have to constantly tell myself that they're in a better place, because if I don't, I'm gonna be a mess, I'm gonna be a wreck. Like you know, it don't matter what they did, how they live their life, none of that matters. You want to just think of your people being in a better place, and that's just the way I go about it. So like it's hard for me to like see people that I love crying, so like that's why I'm getting a little teary.
Speaker 3:But I'm sorry.
Speaker 5:I'm bringing it back, I'm looking at, but um, yeah, like, yeah, yeah, losing levain was hard, that was a rough one. Didn't nobody see that coming?
Speaker 3:yeah, I I will say this about losing the van um, how people say gone but never forgotten. That is one nigga we are not gonna forget. Like I don't know one person that grew up in our neighborhood that didn't get affected by that. Yeah, like, literally not not one person. So, yeah, that's one of them. Like I don't even okay yeah, you mentioned always, maybe full scene yeah, thank you and I'm and I'm glad that you shared that, because he was a good dude he was funny you, you um mentioned the phrase manna um earlier, so I want to know how did that phrase impact you, um, and when you're processing your emotions as a man?
Speaker 4:now or back then. In general, I don't really say it now. Well, I mean, I say it now, when I. When I do say it now, it it's more about taking care of my responsibilities. When I was told that growing up, it was more of as a way of them trying to tell you to hold your emotions in, and I feel like the whole concept of man up, especially to little boys. It's detrimental, because we should be teaching, we should be teaching, we should be taught and we should be teaching how to regulate the emotions instead of instead of just holding them in.
Speaker 4:Because when you hold the emotions in, that's when you start doing the dumb shit. Yep that. That when you let the anger, when you get to the point where where you see red or you black out angry, that's when you get into those situations where you mean, you know, if, if I I would have had an outlet before I got to this point, I wouldn't be in this position. And the sad thing is I have a lot of family members that I realized like, hey, man, we were just taught differently, you wouldn't, you wouldn't be doing this time, you wouldn't be in this life. But since this is the way you know you, you you stop crying or you hold your head up, man, you know you Like.
Speaker 4:I do feel like little boys need to be taught that. No, man, your emotions are regular. But I'm going to give you the tools to deal with them. Tell them you can be mad all you want. I encourage you to be mad, because being mad means you care, and as long as you care about something, you can put steps in place to change it. What we have to control is how you react when you get mad. That's the process. There's nothing wrong with being mad. There's nothing wrong with being sad, upset, hurt, none of that. We just have to figure out what's the best way about going about managing what you do when you feel these emotions, and that's all.
Speaker 3:I agree. I think so many things would be different if we just gave children in general those tools, because little girls need it too. We can't just be going out around, flip it, fuck out about every damn thing either. We definitely need the tools to regulate our emotions, definitely. I want you to answer that question. Next, again, it's how do you think the phrase man up impacted your, how you express your emotions? But if you can answer that from both a black man and a gay man's perspective, because I would imagine that it did hit you different, oh yeah.
Speaker 5:Well, I was raised by my dad.
Speaker 3:I remember.
Speaker 5:I remember Very straight man, very, very vigorous, hard and rough about everything, like you know. So man up was, definitely is and still is a very big part of my life and a part of like that almond that I was just talking about. Like you know, I have to constantly man up because I can't be soft around him. Like you know I can't, and I live with my dad right now. Um, I can't be soft around him, so I literally moved to arizona to come out yeah, I remember you.
Speaker 5:I moved all the way to arizona just to come out and try to be myself.
Speaker 1:You went to a red state.
Speaker 5:At the time it was not a red state.
Speaker 3:Let's throw that out there. Okay, we're talking about back in 2012,.
Speaker 5:Okay, but yeah, I moved to Arizona and I was able to finally be myself. But man up has always been a part of my life, just because I never thought that it was okay to throw my sexuality around in front of my dad, so I never really wanted to dress too revealing or have gay friends around him. Like I remember, back in like 2017, I had met some gay friends back in arizona and we took a trip out to california and on the way out to the beach we stopped at my dad's place and my friend had on like these overalls, but it had like ruffles on them. I said, nigga, put some sweats on. You're not gonna walk up into my dad's house with some damn ruffle, motherfucking overalls on. It's not gonna work. Like I wouldn't even do that, so I'm not gonna allow you to do it either.
Speaker 5:And he did, like you know, but I felt bad that I even had to do that. Like you know what I'm saying. Like it sucks that you have to tell people not to be themselves just to appease someone else. And that's when I had to realize that, okay, I can't continue to do this. I got to start being who I am, because if I don't, then I'm going to be out here living a fake life Like you know what I'm saying Like if I don't be who I am, then my dad will never respect me. Like you know what I'm saying, if I'm walking around being fake and trying, I went through a lot of phases. I did makeup, I used to wear makeup. I used to dress very revealing, very feminine I used to wear like you know what I'm saying Like I was very gay, yeah, and it I was ashamed of that.
Speaker 3:Really used to have some fire ass outfits. I used to be on there like I know he got the shit on fashion though, like I used to eat the girls up, I ain't gonna lie you had some cute little fits is that a pause for you?
Speaker 1:is that?
Speaker 3:at all because, when they say something sexual they be like pause, all the damn time.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying you used to eat the girls up.
Speaker 5:That's gotta be a pause see it wouldn't be, but I like girls too. I'm just saying you used to eat the girls up. That's gotta be a pause. See, it wouldn't be, but I like girls too. I eat a little coochie. You do and do and have and will again, hello, that's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 4:I'm not a typical gay person. She got excited, didn't she? I'm a very different type of gay person. Hold on.
Speaker 3:Because Bash will. I ain't gonna lie to you. Bash will tell you, and everybody who has him on Facebook will tell you, I'll be under his pictures. Like you, a bad bitch, you're sexy as shit. And if you wasn't gay, I'd be trying to do I not? I'd try to be cute on time.
Speaker 5:I'm definitely gay, but I fucked up with women before. A cutie is a cutie.
Speaker 4:Hold on, Sebastian. Can you say you eat coochie one more time in the mic?
Speaker 5:I eat coochie every morning.
Speaker 3:You do, and you, I didn't know. Okay, I didn't know. Okay, you want coochie, you do, I miss it. A baddie is a baddie. Y'all don't give a fuck the way she got hype she did get very excited, her whole energy shifted and did Woke me the fuck up. Okay, I'm up now. That's funny, we up for the rest of the episode Shit.
Speaker 5:I'm just saying I like what I like, Ain't nothing wrong with that? I like what I like. I like women, I like men.
Speaker 3:But I just don't know if I no hair in my hair.
Speaker 5:Women are annoying. I can't handle it. I honestly don't know how men deal with it, Like they're just fucking annoying. They're beautiful. Women are amazing. They can bear children.
Speaker 1:Hey, putting us in a predicament here.
Speaker 5:I mean, there's so much amazing things about women. I have all nothing but sisters. I'm the only boy I love women, I, but I just don't know if I could wake up every single day to a woman they just are not there all the way. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I'm not sure if it was eve eating the apple. I don't know what it was, I don't know.
Speaker 4:She just fucked y'all up from the start.
Speaker 5:I'm just saying I don't know, but y'all just be like on some other shit and I just be like what the fuck is wrong with you, like relax.
Speaker 2:I'm afraid to co-sign.
Speaker 5:I done been in some real scary situations with women because they don't know how to control themselves and it just it's scary careful.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying I'm afraid to co-sign. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:He's putting this in a predicament I agree, but I'm afraid you're entitled to agree.
Speaker 3:I won't date. I dated women up until 20 I think 17. I'm not dating no more motherfucking girls cause I'm one. I'm a female. I'll beat your ass. I can't beat up no nigga, but I'll beat your ass. So I can't date no more girls and I can't hit no woman cause they get out of control and then I be ready to fuck them up.
Speaker 5:I'm a gay nigga. I can't do that.
Speaker 3:I can't do that, but ultimately I honestly believe it's because men and women are not really raised to be to match, like I, really we're not cultivated to get along with each other. It really takes work for men and women to get along with each other. So the same sentiments you feel about women they're not all the way there, and things of that nature women feel the same about men, because I can tell you right now some stupid ass shit I heard this motherfucking point that I'm like some dumb niggas like what is wrong with you?
Speaker 5:you are really stupid.
Speaker 3:You are so dumb listen, you are really, really, really dumb. No, for real I'm okay.
Speaker 2:It wasn't anything I said, right?
Speaker 3:no, I'm curious okay, you know, I live with him, daddy, hold on.
Speaker 1:Kevin is curious. What are you curious about, kevin? I'm curious. This doesn't make me gay, right? He said you gay, so you want to hit Because there's some women out there that say some shit and you go.
Speaker 3:I want to hit you, but no, no, no, I want to actually hit.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm not either, but you said that's a gay man urge and I'm like, oh fuck.
Speaker 4:He said. He said there's a couple bitches he want to hit. So, he's trying to make sure that he not? Is that that's? It he's trying to figure if he's figuring out something about himself.
Speaker 5:I mean, when I come around niggas do find out who they are a little bit I mean, I do.
Speaker 3:Kevin, how you? Feel now I believe it.
Speaker 2:I have heard a few niggas say things and I'm like you like.
Speaker 1:Bash like Bash. I met a.
Speaker 3:I met a gay rapper in no, no, no what he said when I come around niggas, do figure out who they are and I said, I have heard a few straight niggas presumably straight niggas say things about you and I'd be like you, like that nigga yeah, that nigga turn you up.
Speaker 5:Probably be in my dms and I'm pretty sure, and I do yeah I mean one thing about me, two things for certain is that I'm not a hoe, no more. No, that was the old me, no more, that is the old me. That does not happen anymore. Every now and then I might sprinkle a little slut in there. But other than that, like you know what I'm saying because and I'll drink to that- you know every now and then I might get a little jazzy with it, you know, and have a little little horror moment.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying, last week we talked about our favorite episodes.
Speaker 3:This is it? It's a moment, it's a moment.
Speaker 5:You know what I'm saying? I used to be a thot.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Go to sleep Thot.
Speaker 3:Wake up Thot hey.
Speaker 4:Hey, hold up, hold up, hold up. Sebastian, did you say sprinkle a little slut in? Yeah, you can't do that. A little slut in. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 5:That just took me out Swut bae I'm going to go tell my wife hey bae, can you sprinkle a little slut in? I don't know what I'm saying. Women need to take notes. That's the one thing. Women need to take notes. Like you have to be a whore to the right one, though, cause I've been hoeing, I mean, if you got a man you should be a whore in the bedroom.
Speaker 3:I've been living my life and I'm hoeing and these niggas is not living my life and I'm hoeing and these niggas is not you gotta be a whore in that bedroom.
Speaker 5:I agree that man say bitch, let me pee on you, let that nigga pee on you.
Speaker 1:You're not finna piss on me. That's not. Is that whore or is that that's Diddy? There's something different. There's something different.
Speaker 5:I'm just saying getting peed on. I have been peed on, though, and it was not at my, it wasn't at my, I did not want that to happen, he just did it, and I was like Yo.
Speaker 3:That's hilarious.
Speaker 5:It happened, though, but I was in slut mode, so I can't hear what's happening. So that's what happens when you sprinkle the slut in.
Speaker 3:So you wanted the slut sprinkled in. Be prepared to piss. That was the only I'm gonna ask you this question, since now we've kind of geared into some of the questions that um pertain to your, your lifestyle. On one of the previous shows we did ask you guys to send in questions. He sent in the question and he wanted to know why women don't date bisexual men. In addition to that, I want to know if how women think about the bisexual lifestyle affects the lgbtqia plus men. Mentally, the gag is does that make you feel a way?
Speaker 5:the gag is that most women are already dating a bisexual man and don't know, it's just not comfortable. That was my answer that was my answer.
Speaker 3:That was literally my answer. I literally your man's and be your man's peace. That was literally my answer. Um, I'm gonna tell you the truth up and this is just my, my truth and I hope I don't offend, but this is just my truth. Up until recently I was like I don't want no bisexual man. The reason why is because there's so much stigma about around disease and things of that nature. But then recently I come to realize one almost all us bitches dated a bisexual nigga and didn't know. These niggas is fucking. That's the first thing. Not the niggas right here. I'm just saying Not these three. These three niggas is not fucking other niggas.
Speaker 4:Hold on, you said what I said not these three niggas be at the park.
Speaker 3:Hold on wait. You said what I said, not these three niggas not these three niggas.
Speaker 4:We not fucking, not niggas.
Speaker 3:No, cause I'm fucking my wife we know that bending over back means all type of shit. I knew what she?
Speaker 1:was saying, but why she say it like that?
Speaker 3:number two because of my lifestyle and I. I do date women on occasion. I do date women On occasion. I'm a fucker bitch. Okay, I'm not finna date, no bitch, you can't say it like that.
Speaker 5:I'm not gonna date a bitch.
Speaker 3:I'm a fucker bitch. You can't say it like that. I'ma pull a backpack out on a bitch. I don't really want a bitch To stay the night, so that's my statement.
Speaker 2:So you a nigga, you do a nigga shit.
Speaker 3:I do nigga shit. You sound toxic as hell. I can't.
Speaker 2:I can't um.
Speaker 5:I can't.
Speaker 3:I'm making breakfast a stigma on people knowing that I'm part of that lifestyle as well. You are so crazy uh my god, you're nuts.
Speaker 3:I'm still free, daddy. So I do think that, honestly, a lot of women are dating bisexual men, are just not comfortable enough to come out. I wish they would, though, because it would be just so much easier on everybody If we knew the truth, like it's part of it, because it is a safety fucking thing. At this fucking point, you fucking this person, and you're it, whether you're fucking another bitch or you're fucking a nigga, I need to know that we're not the only people in this relationship.
Speaker 5:The thing is that's only a stigma in the Black community. White women don't care about that shit. They don't care. If you didn't have experiences before, they don't care. They don't. I've never met a white girl who cared, it's always Black women. Oh hell no, like girl you done ate some coochie Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3:I absolutely have.
Speaker 5:Not all black women are allowed.
Speaker 3:It be not all black women are allowed, but he's just saying they're the ones that give the backlash. That's how outraged they are about.
Speaker 5:The question is what I was, is what I was implying? Like they're outraged by the question, like ugh, hell, nah, like you know, like, and it's like it to say, like if I yeah, I've had experiences with men, but if I'm with a woman, I'm with a woman they lying.
Speaker 4:You know how many bitches would have fucked Noah from.
Speaker 3:Noah's Ark me me definitely tapped his ass. My thing is women love Noah's Ark, love gay men.
Speaker 5:Women be having sex with gay men. Hello, women like gay men you gotta watch out for the gays who got dick on them and they cute and they can mix in with the girls. Like I'm telling you these bitches be trying to fuck. I believe you, I be turning down Coochie.
Speaker 3:I believe you and I definitely would fuck Noah from Noah's Ark. You ain't lying. Yes, sir, he was just too small for me. I didn't even think. No, I liked him baby At that time. I was skinny baby, you okay, I was in yeah or wade, no I think you're talking about wade with the braids. Wade is fine as fuck too I was skinny, though get it. I might say yeah, no, I liked it, no, no, I like.
Speaker 3:Thank you, no, yes, I do, I do agree, just to kind of like something that wrapped that question back up there. I do agree, I do think that a lot of women are dating. Also, I do want to tell you this, though I did ask women of multiple races and, to be honest with you, they all gave me the same answer. I asked a friend of mine her mother is Hispanic, um, and she told me she didn't want to suck pain and have to know her man did the same thing, was the reason why, and she's Hispanic. So I think, culturally, you might get a louder response from black women, but there are other women of you know, that's crazy though, because Mexican men be the no, I mean not all of them but one thing I do know for a fact is that Mexican men are the worst ones.
Speaker 1:They be the biggest motherfucking freaks out of everybody we about to go down all these paths right now? I'm just saying these are the facts.
Speaker 5:Hispanic men? What Latin, any descent like that? I'm telling you they be with the business.
Speaker 3:White men too the white men the best sex I ever had was with a white man. I believe you I believe, I believe, I believe baby rent it.
Speaker 5:The men that I've been hit on have been Hispanic, so Hispanic men they with the men that I've been hit on have been Hispanic, so at the gym, the niggas is hitting on you at the gym.
Speaker 3:Was it you or you that got hit on?
Speaker 4:it was me, it was a nigga it was a nigga well, you just exude, hold on hold on the funny part was the nigga came in. I said this nigga. He came in on Thursday with a pressing curl.
Speaker 3:I said and he was cute.
Speaker 1:Oh, you got an old nigga and gains, and gains, that's an old nigga.
Speaker 5:Yeah he did. He walked in swaying on you. You saw it. You saw it.
Speaker 1:At this point.
Speaker 4:The thing is, my wife pointed out.
Speaker 3:I said fried diet laid to the side my head is 19 inches long and I don't have no burn. Period he had his pink roller in the front for Easter.
Speaker 4:He's funny as fuck, though he's nice dude. Though I said yo, angle, you try to get niggas laughing. I'm not talking to you, sir Get out of here.
Speaker 3:You're not going to get me, that's all right. At least you were nice enough to kind of get to know him a little bit and realize that he was a nice dude because there's no reason.
Speaker 5:There's no reason not to be if a gay man finds you attractive, you're doing something right.
Speaker 2:We don't find everybody attractive well, I don't, I ask questions.
Speaker 5:I'm just saying if you're, gonna get on by a gay guy, then good, we're not hitting on, no I know, I wasn't offended, I was.
Speaker 4:I was like oh, I appreciate it I was flattered and I just I asked questions.
Speaker 2:That's exactly how you should take it, I mean even as a woman that's when I know my picture slay when you get under the shit.
Speaker 3:It'd be like slay bitch. I'd be like did I'll fight his shit on this bitch and wrap you up in a post-it again. As he said, I was cute and gave period.
Speaker 4:And then I'm, I'm just, I'm scared of that, that buff nigger, because I felt like he could take it, you got more than one.
Speaker 5:Most of the time buff niggers be bottom.
Speaker 3:I can't fight him, he wants you to take him. You said I can't fight. Oh, he wants you to take him. No, no.
Speaker 4:I said. I said I can't fight him. That nigga is strong. He's strong, that nigga. I see what he lift, that nigga. He lifting three plates, squatting four and five. I can't fight this nigga.
Speaker 5:He can take me you need to try to have a nigga train.
Speaker 4:I gotta shoot this nigga.
Speaker 3:His wife can lift like 300, 400 motherfucker pounds. Just be standing there lifting that motherfucker. She ain't that strong. Yes, she is. She's strong as a motherfucker. She is for a woman. She's strong as a motherfucker.
Speaker 1:I'm not. You better have her jump so.
Speaker 3:Sebastian tell me how can allies better support the LBG community that are struggling with mental health.
Speaker 5:For me when it comes to allies and it comes to people just being on our side. Essentially, that's a hard question for me, because there's a lot of things that gay people do that I don't agree with. There's a lot of gay things that are okay in the world that I don't agree with. Like, I don't think that it's okay, I don't believe in gay marriage. I don't believe that two men should be able to get married under God. I believe that marriage is a sanctified, you know thing that happens under God. Getting married two men should not get married. I just don't believe that.
Speaker 5:Now, two men can be together. Y'all can have a domestic partnership, do y'all things, share whatever y'all want, but getting married under God, two men is just a slap in the face, and I'm not saying it as a way of saying that, men, if you're being gay, it's a bad thing, because I'm obviously a gay man, right. But that it's a bad thing because I'm obviously a gay man, right, but that particular thing is not okay, it's just not okay. I don't believe that kids should be able to transition at 11 years old. I agree, 10 years old. How are you, 11 years old, making a decision for the rest of your life? You're 11, I agree.
Speaker 3:Would you let your 9 year old say dad, I want to date this man and have a woman no, you can't you cannot make those decisions for yourself you're literally telling children that you tell to eat the food I put on your plate, because that's what I put on your plate, it's okay for you to decide what gender you want to be.
Speaker 5:That's crazy told me when I was 11 hey, do you want to be a girl? I probably want to say hell, yeah. And then now I would have been like I don't want to be, I don't want you want to be this.
Speaker 5:This is not who I am. Like you know what I'm saying. Like it's not. Some things are just not okay. So I mean, when it comes to being allies, just being realistic, that's number one. Being realistic with everything. Like it drives me nuts when people say things like there's multiple genders. No, there is not. If you're a man, you're a man. If you want to be a woman, do whatever you got to do to be a woman, but at the end of the day, your dna is still man, babe. Yeah, it still is. At the end of the day, when you die and you perish and they and they don't know if they can't identify the body guess what? They're gonna look up? Your, they're gonna look and your bones are gonna be male. Yeah, there's nothing we can do to change that. It's a mental illness. That's mental illness when you can, when you can. When I see a man and you're telling me to call you a woman that's mental illness, babe.
Speaker 3:The clip you sent me I can't remember that young lady's name, but the clip you sent me um, with her talking to jason lee. That solidified it for me and I'll have to send it to you three times and I don't like, I didn't like her until I saw that clip.
Speaker 5:I said this little bitch on to something Candace Owens said if a man can just be a woman, then Rachel Dolezal is a black woman. He said, well, no, we ain't going to say that. Well, why not? Why not? Yeah, no-transcript, yeah, everything. It made me kind of look more into her.
Speaker 3:You can tell that they edit her to make her look a certain way, but she definitely was on her shit you cannot make someone call you something that you are not. I agree, and I also don't like to be called cisgender. I'm uncomfortable with that. I think it's very disrespectful. I'm uncomfortable with that.
Speaker 5:I'm a woman. I think it's disrespectful. You're a woman, you're a straight woman. Why are we labeling straight people? Yeah, no, I this is supposed to be the LGBTQIA plus community. Why are we labeling straight people?
Speaker 4:on that. I never said I was a cis man, I just I'm a nigga, exactly nigga male and you?
Speaker 5:you're a nigga, you're a straight man nigga male a cis, a cisgender man, what? And?
Speaker 4:I identify as an attack. That's ridiculous.
Speaker 5:Grow up, attack helicopter everyone thinks that they have choices in everything. That's not what life is about.
Speaker 4:That's true oh, eric, you have choices.
Speaker 5:You do have choices, but you can't make other people agree with you. That that's true.
Speaker 4:You can't be mad at people you can't Like.
Speaker 5:I remember there's this guy who clearly is a man and he be taping himself at restaurants and then when people call him sir, he gets upset and then he posts it and gets like views, right, you are a man, you don't have no titties. You got a fucking beard. Beard, a whole stubble. You have long hair and you have on women's clothes. You have on makeup, right, but you have a beard. You have no titties. Nobody. You have putting no work. You're not on no moans, you're not putting in the work.
Speaker 5:So we're going to call you what we see. You're a man, you're a man. I'm sorry it's and sometimes it's not even out of disrespect, sometimes it's just out of what we see like it's. Sometimes it's not even out of disrespect, sometimes it's just out of what we see like it's. Sometimes it's not out of. We're not misgenerating you on purpose. Sometimes we just think that you're a man who dress like a woman, like you know what I'm saying like we don't know that you are a trans woman and that you identify as a trans woman. Sometimes you just gotta let people know.
Speaker 5:But people just, when it comes to this gay community, shit, it's a lot for me. It's a lot for me too, because I'm a part of this community, but there's so much about it that I don't agree with and it's just like it doesn't make sense. Does anybody have a brain? That's not the way life works. You can't just do and choose whatever you want to do. That's just not what it is. You can't do that. That's why men to go out here and put yourself at risk, exactly what's the point. That's another reason why I don't believe in gay marriage, because men don't respect it, even though straight people don't. Sometimes too, men will get married and go cheap. Yeah, that's true. But my respect the the level of marriage, like you know. I'm saying like what marriage is? They have open marriages. Be out here fucking other niggas having. You know I'm having orgies and obviously that's not what marriage is.
Speaker 5:Why would you marry somebody to turn around and go out and fuck everybody else?
Speaker 2:what's the point?
Speaker 3:right put your body at risk like that that's not what we were meant to do, that's true. So listen, this is going to be the last question I'm going to ask you guys, and I'm going to start over here with kevin, because kevin been too damn quiet for me well I understand I think you, if you I go ahead, baby, I might have picked up the wrong thing out of everything you just said.
Speaker 1:What's prep?
Speaker 5:okay, so prep is a uh you don't know about you wouldn't know as a antibiotic, I would say that is uh. It prevents you from getting.
Speaker 1:HIV. Oh, I can love that. When you said there's a drug that stops from STDs, I was like where was?
Speaker 5:this in college. Doc prevents you from getting STDs, and PrEP prevents you from getting HIV, okay, okay. That's post-exposure. If you did come in contact with somebody who has HIV, you can take PrEP Get the fuck out of here, Baby get onto it Hello.
Speaker 3:I don't want to get onto it because I'm not fucking anybody. I don't want to be Sorry, go ahead. I didn't know these things existed.
Speaker 5:They're making it so easy for people to go out here and be whores.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I didn't know these things.
Speaker 5:That's not what we're here to do. That will sprinkle a little slut. I will have my moments. I will have my horse slut moments. Absolutely I'm going to. I'm. I mean, I'm a sinner. I was born that person. You know I was born a sinner. I live in the flesh sometimes but at the end of the day we're not meant to be out here able to have sex. I know gay men who clean out every single day. That's not good for your system. You know you clean your ass out every day so you can get fucked we are gonna go to the last question what's the point?
Speaker 5:what is the point you?
Speaker 3:are absolutely. It's not gonna get you nowhere you're not getting nothing from this we finna wrap this shit up, if you that's what I did that's what he said that's exactly what he's saying okay we finna wrap this the fuck up. Okay, If you Holy shit, I mean you invited me here. I love you to pieces and I swear to God. We asked last week what our favorite episode. We needed this one, because this one is it for me, baby. Well, you thought I was gonna come over here and pop it.
Speaker 5:I knew, indeed, I knew. I'm sorry that I use so much like vulgarity.
Speaker 2:I know that the people from our church come up with all this. We cuss all the time. We cuss every episode.
Speaker 5:I'm a part of a church community and stuff.
Speaker 3:I'm a Christian, or whatever this nigga wants to bend his wife over the balcony and pound her every episode, baby you are just fine there. Balcony sex is top five.
Speaker 5:He finna, go Go ahead.
Speaker 4:Let.
Speaker 3:Kevin answer the question.
Speaker 4:Fuck the balcony. Go ahead, sprinkle the slut in there, kevin.
Speaker 3:He said throw that little slut in there, baby, Sprinkle a little slut in that thing.
Speaker 5:You know what I'm saying Every now and then you got to sprinkle a little slut.
Speaker 3:Kevin, just on a serious note to men's mental health, kevin, if you could speak to your 18 year old self, what coping skills would you provide for mental health issues?
Speaker 1:jesus 18, I don't know 18 I was, where was.
Speaker 3:I was arizona fucking oh he was fucking in arizona he was sprinkling a little slack, a little bit, that's my baby scare.
Speaker 1:That's when I had that baby scare. Uh, oh, you sure it wasn't yours, it wasn't, it didn't happen, she was lying. I mean, you know it was a little late, a little late, so, but anywho, uh, I don't know, I don't think I'd have much. Just stay the course, man, because I feel like where I'm at now in my life is just where I'm supposed to be at, like it's not. I don't feel like up or down, so like I don't think I want anything to be different, cause, like I learned when I was supposed to, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So I feel that yeah.
Speaker 4:Um, I'd probably just tell myself to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Speaker 3:That's the only way you're going to grow, and to that I was not doing myself any favor, harboring the hatred and the anger inside. I ain't gonna say nothing because you're gonna be like quit trying to fuck, go ahead.
Speaker 2:I ain't gonna say nothing because then you're gonna be like quit, trying to fuck. Go ahead that. You are who you're supposed to be and I don't feel like there's something wrong with you, and don't let people take advantage of you that's right.
Speaker 3:Better not no Bash. Can I repeat the question?
Speaker 5:18 year old self. What coping skills. What advice would you give?
Speaker 3:your 18 year old self. What coping skills. What advice would you give your 18 year old?
Speaker 5:self 18, I would say workout, go to the gym, move your body, get active. I was very stagnant at 18. I was very overweight, I was very uncomfortable with myself. Um, if I would have just known that just like getting out and just walking would make me happier, I would have done that. So that's definitely something that I would tell myself at 18. And also just like be yourself, yeah, and be like yourself unapologetically, like stop allowing people to dictate how you speak, how you do, how you walk. I came in here and I was 100% myself, like you know what I'm saying, like I spoke, I popped my shit, like that's how I am every day. This is how I am every single day.
Speaker 3:I can vouch for that. I can vouch for that Like this is just who I am.
Speaker 5:I'm an outspoken person. I'm a very loving person. I love people, I respect everybody and I just feel like if we did that, the world would be a lot better place, if everybody just loved and respect each other.
Speaker 3:Like you know, I agree, I agree, and let me give you your kudos because, first of all, I'm not going to say on camera how much weight I've lost since speaking to you about my health, but when I go to the gym, baby, I be hearing you saying okay, girl, health is wealth, health as well. You look good, though, thank you. You look good, thank you. I'm a little thick right now. I'm not gonna hold you, I'm a little 50, but you look good, but the body still t baby, do you?
Speaker 5:hear me, body still t you. Feel me, the body is definitely gonna always be t her, her middle initial period.
Speaker 1:You're saying that was a nikki reference hearing it, I got one more thing, of course, I would also say uh, do the shrooms in the woods hey, hey and uh hey microdose find
Speaker 3:the dmt does cure a lot of shit you said find the what the dmt.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's what, that's what you tell your 18 year old. Yeah, yeah, because I waited too long to do the shrooms. To do the shrooms, I.
Speaker 5:To do the shrooms.
Speaker 3:Man, I want to end it you sound like an old person.
Speaker 5:The weed Smoking a little bit of the weed.
Speaker 3:I want to end the episode by saying men, it's okay for you to be in touch with your emotions.
Speaker 3:Yes, and women, women, I'm speaking to you directly. You need to get better with opening the safe space for that. Men should feel comfortable in their homes speaking to you about things that are hurting them and things that they want to address, and it not be an issue. You not downplay them. The same way, you don't want your pain and suffering minimized. They don't want it and don't deserve it either. So, women, I think we definitely need to collectively do better.
Speaker 5:One hundred percent.
Speaker 3:I mean that wholeheartedly, and for black men specifically, especially because you're expecting these men to go out and provide infrastructure for you. You're asking them to provide a lifestyle for you, but you're not providing a safe space. So why the fuck should anybody provide anything for anybody that's not providing a safe space?
Speaker 5:you have the usher concert, that is, they can feed you cherries.
Speaker 3:Yes, let me tell you something I'm going through a divorce man I'm going through a divorce. Usher, come out with them. Motherfucking cherries bitch. There's whole happily married.
Speaker 5:I'm gonna eat the cherry and I'm gonna tie.
Speaker 3:The ruin their lives. I'm kidding, though, but seriously. No, I definitely agree there needs to be a level of respect. Um, no, I Y'all know who the love of my life Is. Is it? Is it Usher, or is it Chris, the fuck brown? Now I'm telling you right now, baby, how'd you do that?
Speaker 4:How did you do that? How did you do that?
Speaker 1:how did you do that? I'm telling you now how did we get there?
Speaker 3:I get christopher in every time. Wow, he getting balconies. I'm getting christopher period, point blank. No, but seriously, I I definitely think there needs to be a really serious conversation amongst the women on how we treat these men 100 because even down to we you know we we have father's day approaching and even down to father's day, it's not going to be the the love and support that women get on mother's day, and some of you women are sucky ass mamas fluffy lobster, I'm waiting for the lobster, definitely.
Speaker 3:I also want to mention that if you go to your phone and you press 988, that's going to get you to the men's suicide hotline. You can call, text or chat that you can also call everybody's hotline yeah, you can also call 1-800-273-TALK, so that's 1-800-273-2855. Get some help. Do not be out here suffering the long you do not have to and let the fathers have their day.
Speaker 2:Don't call it single mother do not do.
Speaker 3:I swear to god, I will block you if I see you calling it the single mother's day because you had your day. We acknowledged you if you didn't pick a good baby, daddy every time.
Speaker 4:Every time I see that I'm like so you made a bad choice and then you mad about it.
Speaker 3:But it's the truth, but it's the truth. Don't lay where you don't want to stay. If you didn't pick a good baby daddy, you need to start thinking about your choices now. That's not to say that some of you niggas do not come in here and be cool and then go out the bag on the bitch. I'm not speaking to the women that that happened to. I'm speaking to the one that you knew this nigga wasn't shit and you still made a baby with this nigga and now you were mad and he told you he didn't want the baby and you still went the whole nine months pregnant and had the baby and now you mad that he don't want to be in the baby.
Speaker 3:We're not doing that, and that is why I'm team.
Speaker 4:Anthony.
Speaker 5:Edwards. And stop hitting men below the belt when you're mad. Stop hitting men, because the words do hurt. It definitely does Go to work, take care of home, try to be there for his kids.
Speaker 3:Stop hitting men below the belt because you're mad, exactly. I can go on for hours and stop also using these damn kids as a pawn. We're not doing that, no more in 2025. We're not doing that. They're not your meal ticket, they're not a pawn.
Speaker 2:I don't, I'm not down with that.
Speaker 3:I'm not, and listen that women. That's not to say that I don't know, because I am fully aware that some of these men be doing you in, but we don't address the women that are doing the bad things to these men. It is always the men that get highlighted for the negative things they're doing. We're not doing that here, no more. So women be Debbie.
Speaker 5:I know some Debbie moms. I know men who got full custody of their kids, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 3:And I know some men that should have full custody of their kids that don't.
Speaker 4:So we're definitely, and that's just because I'm trying to give up custody of mine.
Speaker 5:I can't afford her anyway, this has been a heavy beautiful, amazing episode of the heavyweight podcast for men's mental health. Man, I got something to say.
Speaker 2:Sorry if I was like vulgar. You're good, rest in peace uncle elmer rest in peace yes, definitely rest in peace.
Speaker 3:Um, as always, we encourage you to like, subscribe, emphasize on sharing this week because I think this was powerful for men and women, gay and straight everybody to see this particular episode, so definitely make sure that you share it, like subscribe, comment, all that shit Until next time. We thank you for watching Peace.
Speaker 4:Peace.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sweating. That's a wrap, y'all. That's that's how she wrote, so make sure you click watching Peace, peace, I'm sweating. That's a wrap, y'all. That's how she wrote, so make sure you click like subscribe. Tune in we're on the Austrian platform, so until next time we'll highlight you.
