The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
Show Me the Balcony
Traditional marriage. Non-traditional marriage. 50/50 splits. Who pays for what? In this deeply honest conversation between three friends, we break down how modern relationships are being redefined—especially in the Black community.
We kick things off by questioning what "traditional marriage" even means today. Is it still realistic? Is it necessary? And how much do our upbringings—whether raised in single-parent or two-parent households—shape our expectations in adult relationships?
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3:The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can weigh in on some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
Speaker 4:You feel good too. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation On the inside and outside.
Speaker 2:What's up everybody? This is Des the Diva. We're not doing this with Maurice today. No, Back again for another heavyweight episode.
Speaker 4:And that's the way I like it.
Speaker 2:I'm here today with two of my three favorite guys oh so we're not, we're not just them niggas you're not niggas today. You know how are your weeks everything been okay.
Speaker 4:Shut up, k-dot, I'm good. I'm good. It's your boy, molito, I'm good. Good week. Nothing coming off that anniversary.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, a lot of clapping going on, oh my God. Happy anniversary, happy anniversary my nigga. It's enough, we got it. We understand, okay, oh my god.
Speaker 4:Kevin, you're weak sometimes. You gotta, you gotta alternate. You can't give them. You gotta long, slow intermediate. Speed it up, slow it down, wind it Sean.
Speaker 1:LaPong, grand Canyon and shit okay this nigga this nigga be a good dad how'd you like that? The wolf and shit the wolf out as they call it.
Speaker 2:Oh, the wolf is over there by the canyon wait.
Speaker 4:So you went to, you went to the the one out there, yeah, okay, yeah, oh damn. I thought you was going when you said that shit. I thought you was going like Anaheim my inner child so you go where there's no lines.
Speaker 2:Okay, and that's then. That's the motherfucking fact, jay. Okay, I need to be adopted. Right, I'm like I want to go where y'all go. Then we can't afford it at that point.
Speaker 1:It just got too expensive.
Speaker 4:I got this. I got this co-worker shout out to Roy and I always say, man, because he always he took his kids to. I think last year he took them to Disney World and then he took he always doing something. I said, man, how much, just adopt me, I come with health care.
Speaker 2:He got a lot of kids. He got three.
Speaker 4:That's a lot, no one grown, she grown, she 18, now 19, I think the baby is, I think his baby is nine, but he's a good dad yeah, I was like that's 18 and still you gotta buy a plane ticket oh no, two years ago he bought her a horse he did the nine year old the 18 year old, and then he bought her a car.
Speaker 1:I see, yeah, he could adopt he got the space, he got the money. I mean he always at work, and then he bought her a car. I see, yeah, he could adopt, yeah.
Speaker 4:He got the space, he got the money.
Speaker 2:I mean he always at work, is he Hispanic? Is he Hispanic? No, he black, he black. I'm trying to find me a Hispanic family to get on so they can buy me a King's Day dress.
Speaker 4:That's not okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm trying to get in. Today's questions are cultivated by questions that I have had women ask me in my inbox, while we don't necessarily talk about, which I think some of them we have, but I pulled them all together so today, I'm not answering no questions from no woman. Today we might just be having a little bit of an uncomfortable conversation. Talk about marriage and things of that nature Don't make me nothing, nothing, nothing make me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Ain't nothing uncomfortable. Ain't nothing uncomfortable Because?
Speaker 4:if I don't like what we're talking about, then I just walk away.
Speaker 2:I ain't seen you walk away yet, because I ain't been uncomfortable. Okay, let's go.
Speaker 4:Y'all see how this work. Let's go let's go.
Speaker 2:You're putting Kevin to sleep. Let's go. Let's go. You're putting Kevin to sleep. What wake your ass up? You sleep no.
Speaker 1:I'll never sleep, thank you shut your ass what's your definition of traditional marriage are you asking me you first?
Speaker 2:nigga, cause you always got something to say cause.
Speaker 4:You looked at me when you said that traditional marriage. Talking to you um you talking about marriage in general? Yes, just generally or what is what traditional marriage like today? No in in general, like based off what you think it's supposed to be a traditional marriage is where a man goes out there and provides the the milk and honey, bread and butter and supports financially, while the wife is at home with the children nurturing, taking care of the home and being provided for.
Speaker 2:Kevin down.
Speaker 4:That doesn't also. But the father is still a father. He's still involved in active and involved.
Speaker 2:True.
Speaker 4:You know, because the marriage part only deals with the husband and wife. You're not a father in your marriage vows, you're a husband that's a whole different role.
Speaker 2:So that's true. I I think I saw someone say that on the internet the other day, but in reference to that he also referenced that the marriage is bless you. The marriage is also separate because you're gonna have to provide regardless, because if you wasn't married with kids, you still had to get asked to work and go do what you had to do. I mean, do you with the left? Yeah, you do, but the level of provision is different oh my god what's your answer, kevin?
Speaker 1:pretty much the traditional answer, right, yeah, so yeah, that's what that is true, I mean, that's the traditional.
Speaker 4:Traditional I feel like to in today's world. It may look a little different it looks completely different um these things is not paying all the bills. It can't be if that's not traditional, See you can't say that because not everyone is afforded a career or adopt to pay all the bills. Okay, I agree with that.
Speaker 1:I feel like traditional is, in a sense of, that's the way it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's the way it's set up, you don't have multiple traditionals.
Speaker 1:You have the traditional way. Yeah it, yeah, that's the way I said I don't have multiple traditional, so you have the traditional way. Yeah, now do I live by that?
Speaker 2:no, that's a different question, though that is a different question and, to your point, everyone isn't able to to do so and I definitely agree with you on that and I don't well, here's the thing we live in california.
Speaker 4:There's more people even right, but even in california there's men that are able to provide that life, but that would just lower your standard of living. All these trips and these, all that shit.
Speaker 1:Are you shooting at me? Nigga, no, nigga.
Speaker 4:No, I'm just saying like you have to understand. Like, for instance, I feel like a man making 60 to 80,000 could provide for a family. Now, that's not going to look like the same provision a man making 100,000 can. You know what I'm saying? You might be in a two-bedroom apartment, living paycheck to paycheck, eating bare minimum, whatever, but he can still foot that bill for everybody. It's not necessarily a comfortable life, so it the level of income doesn't doesn't necessarily equate that he can't do it. It's just he may not be able to meet the standard the woman has set for herself.
Speaker 2:So that that's where it differs yeah, while um writing these questions, I literally, because it's on the internet so much about like 50, 50 and things in that nature.
Speaker 2:I was nothing in life is 50 50 mad and niggas, until I started to realize that this, this is a double standard in in two different ways. But we'll get there. Um, so when did you, when do you think that? Um, the traditional? Well, you know well, you kind of just answered the question. Well, I was going to say when did you think the traditional? Well, you know what, you kind of just answered the question. I was going to say when did you think the traditional marriage stopped being so traditional?
Speaker 4:With the introduction of the welfare system.
Speaker 2:I agree. I think, I agree, that's facts. No, I still fucking agree, nigga See.
Speaker 1:That's in one household, though, what you mean In a demographic of households, oh, household, though it's more what you mean in a demographic oh yeah, that's what you mean, yeah but I think a lot, I think the majority, the economy has a lot to do with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Because because, to your point, not everyone has that lifestyle to where they can't afford. Um, I but my opinion.
Speaker 4:Can I just say this? So if someone who it's a ghetto. What. It's a ghetto being a provider.
Speaker 2:Elaborate. It's a ghetto, what you mean.
Speaker 4:Sometimes you want to take days off. You can't. I mean you can, but somebody ain't going to get paid. Somebody standing could be low for a while.
Speaker 1:I'm just playing chill ass out of here. I don't you got PT on.
Speaker 2:I'm just talking shit in a lot of cases that I, that I, in a lot of cases that I see, a lot of times that I this could just be the women I know. I mostly see women that are the providers and and I'm I'm sure there's a lot of women out there that are so when I heard you say that you provide for your house, like months back, I was in fucking shock.
Speaker 2:I was in here like nigga, where the fuck you working? What the hell you mean? Because I don't see that often. I, most of the time, see women who are providers and I feel like the way that it's presented is different. When a man provides, it's like this is your job, this is what you're supposed to be doing. When a woman provides, we supposed to be providing. Writing, dying, fucking, sucking, cleaning, cooking.
Speaker 4:Now, hold on, now, Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Ain't about a providership. Some of us you went into marriage. You went. Some of that was marriage responsibilities. I wasn't a provider of responsibilities.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:And so, as a man, as a man who is a provider, I have to provide and still do all the the fucking. Well, not sucking, but licking the balcony, all that balcony Right?
Speaker 2:no-transcript heard me a couple minutes ago when I said when I wrote these questions, I realized that there was a real double standard there. I, um, I actually agree with you.
Speaker 4:I don't think I don't think we think about those things Of course not, because most internet is women-driven and a lot of they're going to hate me for this shit. I don't care. A lot of this shit is just unhappy women online that's made terrible decisions. So then they generalize all men based off the men they experience.
Speaker 2:They're going to hate me too, because I agree.
Speaker 4:That's all that shit is. I agree.
Speaker 2:That's all that shit is. I agree, you know why? Cause I used to be one and when I lived in that space I was like these niggas is fuck these niggas, they dumb they, whatever these niggas. But then I started to realize like no, we're not nurturing each other. I ain't nurturing this nigga, this nigga ain't nurturing me, I ain't nurturing this nigga and this nigga ain't nurturing me. We're not nurturing each other. We're not cultivating something that can last, because we're too busy focusing on what the other one isn't doing and not hey, how can I contribute to this better? So I honestly, I think I agree with you, Kevin, what you think, because we done had a whole conversation. What's the word, what's the shit? We always say.
Speaker 1:We always say shit, it's. It's. What's the word, what's the shit we always say? We always say it and I'm frozen for a hole. No, no, it's, it's based off of whoever like your household. I guess you know what I mean.
Speaker 4:Oh, the dynamic Family dynamic Elaborate.
Speaker 1:It's just like. However, it works in your house oh, what works for you.
Speaker 4:What works for you, yeah cause it's like you talking about, the conversation you talking about financially yeah anything however you run your house cause I mean, if I wanted my wife not to work, cool.
Speaker 1:But I'm like that's not gonna be fun, like fuck.
Speaker 4:No, we made that decision, we had that conversation like you could stop, but then some of this shit's gonna change and and and, but that'll go back to the part I was telling this earlier, like it's possible, but some shit you're used to not gonna be possible. Yeah, and now a lot, a lot of women's response to that would be like, well, she should just get a man that can still maintain her, or he needs to upgrade himself. Right, and if?
Speaker 1:I told these bitches how much I'm making, they'll go oh, what the fuck. And I'll be like exactly it costs like that in life. I think a lot of times. I think a lot of people are kids. They don't want to grow the fuck up and be like blame it on someone else. Blame it someone else. Blaming on this it's like make it grow up like people don't understand.
Speaker 4:The more, the better you do and the better situation you put yourself in, the more this shit costs to maintain.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely and you know what's dope. Here's a dope thing what us both have in our careers like one does good, the other does good like no one try, no one's trying to ride off of anybody. We both want to excel where we're at. So it's dope Cause we both get those advances of things and get to celebrate each other in that Cause. It's not like she just working at what I can. I'm never going to knock a job, whatever it is, it's the job, but she's like striving to do better.
Speaker 4:Hold on nigga. Did you want to knock the job? No, not her job, Not her job.
Speaker 2:You can say it's not like she has, like a mediocre job.
Speaker 1:There's some people out there like, oh, I'm working too.
Speaker 4:It's like shut the fuck up you were using your J Cole bag Mopping up floors at Wendy's Okay.
Speaker 1:I had to tone it back Okay. Yeah, okay, tone it back, okay, but so it's like you get different experiences out of however. Your dynamic is set up so like that's, that's fun, like she just got promoted or raised or whatever let me get to my note, yeah, girl no she's told you we wolfed out so. But like, that type of stuff is fun, so it's like, and it's all towards the house. Yeah, like everything's to the house, so it's like everything's one bucket.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and see that, that's the way my house was, my thing my wife had.
Speaker 1:She hasn't worked in five years yeah, that's nice right and again oh, you're a better man than me, though I'm gonna take your phrase, because we like we even discussed this we hit, we talked, a dollar amount and then like, I'm just sitting there, I'm like, but then we could do more that's true, um, but even when she was working, it was we had.
Speaker 4:We had one bank account. There was no, um, my money, your money, it's, it's our money. We're building a life together. Yeah, now, mind you, we've had conversations and we were on the same page what our goals were, and we did have, you know, boundaries in place, like, hey, if you can buy what you want to buy, but at this limit, over this dollar amount, we need to talk about it. So, if you spend more than this, we're going to talk about it. And we set that number and say, hey, I want to get this. It cost this much. Okay, because what you don't want to happen is you assume you got this much but then you go drop a bag while she dropping a bag and nobody communicating that we both dropping the bag at the same time. So now you're dropping two bags at once.
Speaker 4:So, like we had all those, we had those, all those, um, all those uh, uh things in place, um, prior to before she stopped working. And even now, like she doesn't she, my wife, hasn't worked, I want to say about five years she still has access All my it's not my money, it's our money. She still has access to the all the accounts. And to take it even further when she does do her side jobs, when she does her makeup, when she does her shirts, that's her money. I don't include that in house money. Now, there has been times where I'd be like she's gotten me stuff and I appreciate it with what she's made, but that's not part of the family budget. You know what I'm saying. And would it be to Kevin's point Would it be easier if you worked?
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, because I mean, first of all, I get necessarily well, hold on Well, not first of all. Not necessarily well, hold on well, not necessarily. I'll explain later. Child care um hey, that's where you don't have that shit cost too much, yeah right, but like I would sometimes.
Speaker 4:I'm like man if she doesn't work, I can go get my truck. Be sitting on 24s. Oh my god, you know nigga shit you know what I'm saying it would benefit me, right, and it would benefit me right, and it would benefit me, but I also look at it as that it would be a detriment to my daughter. Well, you pick up a different role what's that at that point?
Speaker 1:what's that if she's working? I'm still working, you're gonna do child care? Well, no, you can still. I'm still working too, but when she's not, or when she's working and I'm not, you with the kids, yeah, doing all of that.
Speaker 4:So it's like, well, yeah, but see, I but cam, I did that before.
Speaker 1:I don't know what I'm saying it's just and honestly you get a trade-off on it it's a trade-off.
Speaker 4:But honestly, now my child's at the point where she don't take much to take watch her you listen, you don't take much.
Speaker 1:Some days, some days, and then there's some days where you're just sitting there and you're like daddy huh, daddy, daddy god, what the worst part about my child is her schedule.
Speaker 4:She booked and busy. Yeah she busy. She's busy all the time.
Speaker 2:So that's the worst part. It's worth it, though.
Speaker 4:She gonna be an Olympian cause normally you, it's worth it, though she going to be an Olympian, because normally no, we drop her off. She there wherever we take her. She there for a couple hours, like I can go get me some pho, get me a steak dinner, set me a nice and then go back. Oh hey, you want some Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 2:No. See what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Why you do her. We do it like that every Friday night. It's fair, but yeah, but again back to the original point. Like that, whole providership, it can be maintained at different income levels. It's just the level of what's being provided. It's going to be different based off the income level. And a lot of people out here they want champagne lifestyles off of beer money and they can't live that way. Yeah, better learn.
Speaker 1:They want champagne lifestyles off of beer money and they can't live that way. Better learn how to get a dose at peace.
Speaker 2:I also think a lot of women want and I hope that I don't get canceled for this, but I think a lot of women want their boyfriends to give them marriage stuff.
Speaker 4:Well, that goes both ways. What do you mean? That goes both ways. That goes both ways. I think she's talking to like they want the boyfriends to pretty much like provide for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:In a way, but then that's the case. Then you got to Again. But then like the flip side is that you have men out there that want wife treatment from from girlfriends. So it's like I feel like in that dynamic you should almost like you should get an appetizer. You should get a taste of it, but not the whole thing. Right, Because from both sides, what's the incentive of going into marriage if I'm getting all the benefits of marriage outside of marriage?
Speaker 2:That's true, but how do you set that boundary? What's that limitation?
Speaker 4:look like.
Speaker 2:Like hey. I'll help you up until this extent.
Speaker 4:Conversation, conversation, yeah, but it is true, like, hey, I'll help you up into this extent. Conversation, conversation, yeah, but it is true, it's like as a but here's the thing as a man, when you find a woman that you're into, you're going to naturally start doing those things, for that you would do as a husband, naturally, anyway and I think.
Speaker 4:I think from the woman's side you have to pick up on that and then once, pretty much, you got to match the energy. Once you see that he's pouring into you, now you pour into him, and then that's how you guys build that shit together. But like, don't, don't give access to things before it's earned.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say earned, because I don't want to say like nah earned is the right word.
Speaker 4:I don't want to make it feel like it's transactional well, I mean shit.
Speaker 2:It is transactional, like low key. Okay, so do you think that black men and black women are groomed against each other?
Speaker 4:yes.
Speaker 2:I do too, kevin. Real bad. What do you?
Speaker 4:think you'll say no you don't think so can you tell me why you think.
Speaker 2:I want to see if our thoughts align why I think we're grooming each other.
Speaker 4:When you look at social media in the divide yes, right there's a lot. There's a lot of clowns on social media.
Speaker 1:That's why I don't go off. It's like the place to gauge off of those right.
Speaker 4:Go to baltimore, there's a lot of yeah well, there's places where it's like for you see it, I would say for every go to atlanta for for every like if you go off just the, the stats alone right about how black women are the least married, whatever, whatever, right, those numbers are disparaging.
Speaker 4:But I know a large portion of black women who are married to black men. I know a lot of black men who are married to black women, and I know that some of the people who have decided to marry outside of their race is because they just happened to find the one that co-assigned with them, and that's what the way the universe works and that's cool. You love who you love. But like that clip I had sent you the other day, like I do think that for for you to come from something and then not like nothing that you come from, but then try to benefit off of what you come from, that's very foolish to me. And so I do think that this whole thing, this whole notion of pretty much a black man and black woman trying to put standards on each other that are really hard for most of us experience here in America, based off the fact that you can acknowledge that Black people as a whole don't start at the same starting line as everybody else, because they get help or they have different they have, you know, let's just say what it is. When you look at Latin families, they have better support systems built in place for them than us, and as a black community, we need to do better at growing that. I do believe that, but a lot oftentimes we, as black people, try to compare our own people to other races and, yes, that's where the impasse comes in. We need to learn to accept us for who we are, but that does not discount black people ourselves from doing the work to be better for each other. That's that's the thing. You have to be better for each other, and a lot of shit that they will try to stereotype us with, our to stick to us when that's not the core.
Speaker 4:I know a lot of, I know a bunch of black educated women who are strong, who are beautiful, who are still single, who are in their in their late thirties and forties. I know I have friends that are doctors. I have friends that are therapists. I have friends that are CPAs. I went to college. I know these people. I talk to people regularly and they're black women and they're and, and and also black men, but they're not what you would would would. They're not the stereotypical black that you would see being pushed on, like social media or on the internet, or even like, when it comes to like the entertainment world, like they're not. They're not rappers, they're not singers, right, they're just normal, everyday people who have made a conscious decision to better themselves. And it's hard it's I feel like it's harder for them to find soulmates because they're they're operating on a different frequency and and I understand, I understand the, the lack of that's more numbers to me.
Speaker 4:It is a numbers game. But I understand the concern of of dipping down to bring somebody up, because I'm not saying that that wouldn't work, but if you dip down to bring somebody up, they don't have the right mindset, they're not a go getter mindset. Then they can pull you down. So I do understand that, as black people, as we level up, as we evolve, as we improve our status, as we improve our income, as we improve our overall being, it is hard to, it is harder to find other people of our race that are equally yoked as us.
Speaker 4:Sometimes it's not necessarily, sometimes you may find somebody, but it's a distance thing or it's a compatibility thing. And then sometimes you have people who especially I'm going to say this, especially black men. You have black men who level up and they they see theirself as top tier or elite and now they just exclude a certain type of woman because because for forever, whatever their reasons are Right. And then, as black women, as they level up, because they're the most educated, it's kind of hard for them to find a man on their level, financially Right, because there's a lot of good black dudes out here that are mechanics, that are barbers, that are plumbers or whatever the case may be, but because his job title in his career doesn't necessarily align with what she sees her future, she will discount him.
Speaker 4:So I do feel like there's a lot of black men that get led astray and then and those are the from my and my experience, those are the black men that you know date the women that are accessible to them and they end up going through you know the baby mama drama and all that other stuff. So it is, it is. It is a system wired and again I say it is, it did kind of start, start with welfare, right, because my belief and my interpretation of this and from what I've read and what I've heard and went through, is like I don't care. Anybody says the goal of welfare in the black community per se was to remove the father.
Speaker 4:Yeah definitely, and so if you can get the income and not have to deal with the stress of having a man or being better for a man who wouldn't sign up for that deal. But it's always like you think it's a good deal until you realize it's not.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, because it definitely traps you there. You make a dollar over and you're off of welfare so you can't really elevate while you're on welfare. So, yeah, you definitely have a good point, kevin.
Speaker 1:It's part of it, but I mean, that's the system. You got jail first, I think.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's part of the problem too, that was step one.
Speaker 1:That was what the whole jail system was for. It was to incarcerate black men. But well, I mean, I don't have much to say. I told you I don't necessarily believe pitted. I think that's a thing that is driven by.
Speaker 4:What if it's not pitted? What if it's just like a driven narrative?
Speaker 1:instead, and I think it's not pitted. What if it's just like a driven narrative?
Speaker 4:instead, and I think it's driven by self and I, I, I that's where I'm at with it. I'm like that's by ourselves then I agree that self has prolonged it. And then we have people that buy into it and they believe these things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean just social economics, just when you look at people and certain things, because, as you were talking about with uh people and as you go, it's just even take race out of it when you go. Women and men the higher women go in education yeah, the harder it is to find the higher women go into a certain it's just the pool gets different, so it just gets, especially when you go into a race so now you're talking about women.
Speaker 1:If they're seeking to stick within the race, then the pool gets even smaller, like as they go up.
Speaker 4:So and that, and that's why I feel like you. I really feel like you shouldn't be out here looking for someone based off of what people do, based off of right. You shouldn't be looking for someone based off of what they make or what they do right. You shouldn't be looking for someone based off of what they make or what they do. You should be looking for someone based off of character Right, because you can be a six-figure woman and find yourself a six-figure, seven-figure man. But you got to understand when a seven-figure man becomes the seven-figure set of problems, because you're not the only one woman fighting for his intention and he, he's going to find many women out there that's willing to just be with him on the weekend and and provide him what he wants in that situation. And so I feel like characters really should be the the. I mean vibe and attraction is important, but character should be one of the most important and defining reasons why you align yourself or attach yourself to someone else.
Speaker 2:I agree. Yeah, I definitely agree with that. And that's not to say that you have to take any man. You still need a man that's willing to try to at least elevate. I feel like for me you have to. You don't have to have money, you don't have to be rich, you don't have to be the provider. I don't mind 50, 50, I don't mind paying more and you pay less. If I can pay the rent and the bigger bills and you can pay the smaller bills, I don't even care about that. But I just want to know that you're willing to at least try and and that I'm growing. You're growing. As long as you're down with that, that's fine with me.
Speaker 4:I think for me it's like what I needed and what I got from my wife is that I understood that she was here for me. It wasn't for what I provided, it wasn't for what I gave. She really rocked with me. So, to like what you were saying, there was a time like, of course, fresh out of high school, I wasn't paying for everything we was. It was a lot of times it was, it was 80, 20. Cause she, she was working full time and I was, uh, going to school working part time and you know she was making more than I was making. And then it got to the point to where, okay, well, I made enough money, so I was paying rent, she was paying bills, and then now it's to the point to where you know, I pay for everything.
Speaker 4:No-transcript so-called influencers or life coaches, whatever they say about it, they own some. It's some real one-sided bullshit. They be talking. And I just felt like I understood, like because of the example I was given, raising up of what a man is and what a man should be and how a man should provide, when me trying to model, that I never had the mindset of being with anybody or doing anything outside of the person who I had determined who is my person, because I think what people don't understand is, when it comes to relationship and love, you have to make a decision. Love is an emotion. Emotions always change. You're not always going to be in love, but when you're not in love with that person in the moment, it's now it's the decision and it's your determination that holds you steadfast in your decision to keep your morals intact and to stand on your word. I can honestly say that I'm pretty sure it goes both ways for me and my wife.
Speaker 4:Through the 23 years we've been together, we have not always liked each other. There's been times where we probably really didn't like each other, but we stood by the decision that it's us against the world Wednesday and I'm not feeling her attitude or whatever, because that doesn't stop me from my responsibilities that I have promised to do to her and I feel like today, what's being portrayed this whole? The second you're unhappy leave. If that's the mindset, you're never going to be happy, because there's always going to be parts in relationships that you don't align and that you have to do the work to get back into realignment through the communication. You're never going to be 100% on the page all the time, because you are two different people from two different upbringings, trying to figure out life together.
Speaker 4:So you can't just sit here and expect everything to be a fairy tale and everything just to click the first time over and just everything just be smooth. That's not, not life. There's always going to be rocky roads, there's always going to be good times and bad times and it's like, um, it's like uh. Dr brian said does she say a lot of shit I don't agree with, but I did agree with this. She said the the. The only thing to make sure that your marriage will last is just to not leave okay, well, what's the limitation?
Speaker 4:Okay, well, there has to be there is limitations of shit and like and there is limitations, and those limitations are limitations that you put when you, when you've done I'm not saying stay there and just be abused and just be like taking advantage of right what I'm saying is when someone has done something so egregious that you can't come back from it like Kevin was talking about the previous episode when it's something that you just know you can't come back from, that's when you got to cut ties.
Speaker 4:But if it's something that can be solved with a conversation, and because a lot of times what I'm feeling is what you're feeling, we're just saying it differently. And now we're not on the same page, because I'm in my feelings, you in your feelings, so you don't care what I got to say, I don't give a damn what you got to say, because I'm not being heard. So that's why a lot of times I say, like you really have to be successful in anything, especially when it comes to healing and especially when it comes to being intentional with yourself or your partner. You have to be able to step outside yourself, because what, what makes being a good partner, is doing the things that you should do, whether you want to do them or not because you still have to show up for that person, because you've made a commitment to that person. That's what I say. I ain't saying shit else.
Speaker 1:I don't know what the question was. I forgot.
Speaker 2:Me too, but he gave me every answer I needed. I feel like I might need to Apple Pay you for the therapy session. That's $200. We have it right now. I don't remember which question oh Lord. And I thought, because I had the phone in my hand we were going to get past this part. That's funny as fuck and I thought because I had the phone in my head, we were we were gonna get past this.
Speaker 4:We, you, we were talking about the, the pity against each other. Yeah then, um, we're talking about then. You mentioned the 50, 50 part that was.
Speaker 1:I think that was just going. Yeah, I was responding to what you were saying okay, I was like I don't know if she asked.
Speaker 2:I think it was yeah, yeah, yeah so, uh, there was recently a celebrity on a podcast. He mentioned that he does not date black women. He's a black man that he just refuses to date black women. Did you guys watch the clip?
Speaker 1:I started to and then, I think, I was summonsed okay you were summoned um it's.
Speaker 2:It's often said that black women are not nurturing and that we don't provide.
Speaker 1:That's just people making cop-outs to shit that they their experiences and they don't. Fucking because I don't base my experiences and make them a whole. I've learned that and I've noticed a lot of people will take their experiences and make that as the whole and like we forget there is a lot of us, there's like a lot of people and a lot of different people.
Speaker 1:So, like he, that's just buffoon shit, like that's some buffoonery shit. To say, like oh it's all. Like shut the fuck up, like your mom didn't love you nigga. Like shut up, I'm like your mom didn't love you nigga.
Speaker 4:Like shut up. My first reaction to that is I always ask did you provide her with a safe place to be nurturing God damn it, or did she have to constantly be on guard? Hello, because someone who is constantly watching their back in fear of what's going to happen can't be nurturing, because they're in survival mode. So was she trying to survive or was she trying to be nurturing? Who's that? So what environment are you creating around her to?
Speaker 1:nurture you. Was it even like a? You know, was it real? You guys just fucking around, you guys weren't serious.
Speaker 4:But that goes back to what I was saying earlier how motherfuckers expect things to just be given to them at the beginning. Yeah, and you haven't created any type of safe space any type of nothing. You haven't laid down any foundation, but you want her to walk in here with a house, yeah, like that's dumb.
Speaker 1:That's some dumb shit well, it almost seems like a nigga who took you out to eat and shit and you're like well, now you ain't. You ain't washing my drawers like no nigga. You paid for Applebee's once. What are we talking about?
Speaker 4:If you take an Applebee's, if you get a tax back, you should be happy.
Speaker 2:Oh, you ain't lying.
Speaker 4:But if I take you down and get some lobster, I'm going to get some ass, hey, oh my.
Speaker 1:God, hey, don't, don't, don't you dare sit here and shit on Applebee's. Applebee's is trash, probably. This is terrible, it doesn't matter. Trash, what do you eat out of there food? So what are you supposed to do? So that's what he could afford and he's trying to be nice. So you know well, you shit. I'd rather just cook.
Speaker 2:I'll cook for you, because I don't like. That's not true.
Speaker 1:You barely met this nigga and he's trying to be a gesture. Yeah, don't judge the nigga. That's where the problem is. Don't judge the nigga for trying to do something.
Speaker 4:I'm not didn't say judge him, I just said you ain't getting no ass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fine. You shouldn't be getting ass Off Applebee's. Well, if you get enough Bahama Mamas. But like I think that where the problem comes in too is like the expectations are fucked up. Yeah, like we have fucked up expectations. It's like that's not real life.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't mean it like how the lady said oh, you can't take me to the Cheesecake Factory and I'm not getting out.
Speaker 1:You just don't like Applebee's, I just don't like Applebee's. That's fine, okay, but like that's what I'm saying Some of you like they'll be like bitch.
Speaker 2:What the fuck? When I seen her ass I said, bitch, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Bitch, you are not even bad as you think you are. Eat that fucking damn cheesecake. First you shut the fuck up. The man was so nice and so nurturing to her and so you just go dog him. And then you thought it was funny to tape it.
Speaker 1:And now we all clowning you yeah, you know what's funny is like when you I think a lot of our problem is we don't look at us as individuals, and that's the shitty part. But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:That's the shitty part but that's what I was saying about. You have to take into account the person's upbringing and what they were taught why don't you let each other get to that? And that's, that's the coonery, that's the fool part about it. Like you, you can't. You can't meet every woman or every man and think that they had the same experience as the last one you met like why you talk like that?
Speaker 1:ah, touche I never, I never even thought of that.
Speaker 2:I never. You are right though.
Speaker 4:I mean even, it doesn't even matter. Like you can, you can, you can date. You can date 10 black men in a row and they can have 10 different upbringings. Now will there be similarities in their upbringing? Yes, but there will be oddities in there that will set them different uh from each other. The same thing with, uh, hispanic uh men. Same thing with white like white. It's like there's going to be differences in there because everyone's going to have little minute changes in their upbringing that, even though it's a small change from the other person, it's going to turn into a big shift in how they see, how they see themselves and how they act as they get older. So you can't just assume that all that's the thing.
Speaker 1:I'm just laughing. I know he's like American, American black and I'm like I don't think these girls want to be, they don't want to live that African life.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, right, no right walk behind me, bitch to me that when that that to me.
Speaker 2:Y'all tried to hold that laughing. That dick said walk behind me, bitch to me.
Speaker 4:I don't even like that notion. Walk behind me, bitch Tim. I don't even like that notion of walk behind me. I don't like that. I walk behind my wife.
Speaker 1:Do you? Yeah, I try to see.
Speaker 4:I either walk right next to her or I walk behind her, not her ass.
Speaker 1:I'm saying like what's in front of her, like what's coming around.
Speaker 4:Because and this is why, because this is my, this is just how I see it I may be wrong. If I walk, if I walk behind her, if someone comes up from behind, I'm the first one getting hit. So I'm shielding her back and now I'm looking ahead of her, because women don't pay attention to shit when they're with a man, so now I can look ahead of her and on her side, so I now have her covered 360 degrees if I walk behind her and I and I and I get close to her when I need to and I back up when I need to, but she's always in my line of sight.
Speaker 4:I don't have to be right next to her to be protecting her. Now, there's times where she may want me to be next to her because she want to hold hands or she want more. That's cool, right. But the but, the protector in me, is like no, let her be two or three steps ahead of me. And then sometimes, when I know we somewhere in place, I'm like, hurry up, let's go. And I'll be like let's go, and I just take off on her ass damn she be walking where you went from.
Speaker 1:I be watching her and be like I'm out of here. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, I was that. Shit had me in my head.
Speaker 4:I was just like, well, you know but I was the dude in the clip. I was like this nigga sound like a nigga, that he finally came into a little bit money and thought he was a bit bigger than what he was and and because you had your 15 seconds, it elevated you for 15 seconds somewhere else and you tried to yeah, that's the same notion I had about that as well.
Speaker 2:But I also kind of feel like just kind of seeing how some of my um other cultured friends were raised. Um, I was raised to get up work. You don't need nigga for shit. You got this, you don't need anybody, so I didn't learn to be nurturing a lot of black women were yeah, so I didn't learn to be nurturing until I started to grow.
Speaker 4:And let me ask you this were you, were you raised by your mom?
Speaker 2:yeah, just my mom just your mom.
Speaker 4:That's why yeah, I know because your mom had to get up every day and get it.
Speaker 2:I'm a hundred percent, know that right yeah.
Speaker 4:So, again, like that's a, that's a. That's the conversation I had to have with my wife, because she again was raised by a single mom. I was raised in a two parent household, right, so I had to tell her, like, hey, you acting like your mama, this ain't that situation. Calm down, like it is, it is learned, it's it's.
Speaker 4:It's a different experience coming from, cause I'm coming from a, from a dynamic to where my grandmother had help, right, so it was two, it wasn't like she doing everything, and so my grandmother played a very traditional role. Now, mind you, they was black and uneducated in the forties and fifties, so they both had to work to make it. But my grandfather worked, you know, two jobs, whatever, and my grandmother worked one, right, but it still was like they carried, they both carried their share, but he, financially, he did a little bit more. And then where he, where, where he, where he picked up financially. She picked up in the home, right, because my grandfather cooked, he cleaned, he did all that, right. So that's the example that I was seeing.
Speaker 4:But when you then marry my wife and she coming from a situation to where her mom, her mom held it down and she took care of everything. So my wife, as I told you, like she was very career driven, driven, like she, she had her, she had her goals, she had her market, she wanted to hit and that's what she was focusing on. So this, this being a being a mother, wife and just like kind of nurture role, is that it was something for her I feel that she had to get accustomed to. Now she done fell all the way into it. She in there. She in there now, because she don't like setting no alarms. She in there, I heard that. She in there now alarms.
Speaker 2:I heard that she ended it now and that, honestly, has been a big issue in me and John's relationship as well, cause he does come from a two parent household and I came from a single mom. So if you don't do it fast enough for me, I'm going to fucking do it myself, and then I'll be mad Cause I had to do it myself. No I have to you don't, because I'd be scared if I don't do it. That's a lack of trust and you gotta let that be, you gotta let it be.
Speaker 1:We have. I've had those arguments where it's like, hey, cool, it's not on your time and it goes both ways. Where it's like, just let me give me the fucking chance to do it don't. It's just because it wasn't on the time you wanted it. Give me the chance, like you gotta, but that's that's a cultural difference and that that is. That is something not cultural with it, but like you were saying with the no, that, that, that that's.
Speaker 4:That's for me personally, my experience as any woman, regardless of race, that comes from a single no, I mean I think so, but but like you, but to your point, it's because we watched our moms.
Speaker 2:My mom handles shit way better by herself than I think she does in relationships, because my mom can she.
Speaker 4:I never see her fall when she's by herself, because here's the thing, your mom, here's the, here's the harsh, sad reality, right, your mom is probably more used to and more comfortable with being by herself, and so, and when and when you're by yourself, you could, you could. It's easy to protect yourself from yourself because you're not going to intentionally do anything to harm you.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:You don't, you're not compromised, right, like Kevin said, right, but but when now, when you're doing it with two people? Now you got to compromise because, hey, you, you may like be taking out the trash first thing in the morning, I'm like, well, watch, I'll. Just, I'll take it out when I come back. It's going to be taken out, but but see from the dynamic where my wife come from no, I need to go out right now. No, I don't, it's just, I'm going to take care of it. See, that's the thing.
Speaker 4:And like I always like and this is this is a real problem that we have I tell my wife, I say you have, you see something? And you say, hey, I need to do this and you want to done this, right, then Right, and you tell me what you need. And it's not that I'm being dismissive, but while you, while you're telling me what you need, I still had a list of things that I was trying to do. So now what my man brain does is go OK, this is what she needs. It's not necessarily a priority right now. So this is going to go and slide into number three, spot, let me take care of this first and I'll get back to this.
Speaker 4:That's how most men think. We are not multitaskers. We kind of knock it off one at a time. But what I noticed with my wife if she asks me for something, she wants that to be at the top of the list, unless she says when you get a chance even though I know sometimes when you get a chance, me nigga, do it right now, in the next five minutes yes yes, so, but that that is something that like that was, that was a riff between us, because it's like I understand what you, I understand.
Speaker 4:This isn't what something you want me to do, this is a need for you, but it's not necessary as important as you think, because, as individually we all think what we want or need to get done is important in that moment. Well, I'm not saying it's not important. I'm not saying it's not important. It's just not always the most important thing at that time. It doesn't mean that it's not going to get done. It just doesn't mean that it's not the time to get it done. Oh, sometimes it don't be important oh I know, I know, oh, I know, sorry babe.
Speaker 2:Well, you ain't gotta apologize, that's real life well, I asked you one question and you didn't ask to answer every question on the damn list.
Speaker 4:Well, talk to Kevin then no, we didn't.
Speaker 2:No, I think we we didn't answer everything on the list. Yes, we did nigga please. I think the only other two questions were what are the male role?
Speaker 1:and what is the female.
Speaker 2:He answered it what all of that shit. The only two questions that were left were what are the male roles and what are the female roles in your opinion in relationships? That depends on the relationship. Yeah, I agree with that. I don't think there are any any specific.
Speaker 4:You gotta do what works for you. You can't. That's the thing, stop stop.
Speaker 1:Well, the, the loaded part, too, is like, as I was saying, that's why I said that is the traditional, because it's like you said. Which traditional are you talking about? Because there's no real traditional. That's the shit that I get lost in, because I'm like okay, so what are you talking? Okay, so black people we want to talk about traditional black. Is that? From what era of life are we talking? Are we talking?
Speaker 4:what demographic?
Speaker 1:Are we talking about, how we say, the African men? It's a little different. It's a lot of different than Then. Are we talking about American? We're talking about Southern, yeah.
Speaker 4:Could you go back as far as like are we talking traditional? Before women could vote on property?
Speaker 1:Like, it can get tricky.
Speaker 4:Because back then y'all didn't have a choice. This is why grandpa had a had a family on the other side of town. Because what would you worry, baby, where outside of town? Because what would you worry, baby, where you gonna go?
Speaker 2:You couldn't get nothing in your name. Yeah, very true.
Speaker 4:Very true.
Speaker 2:That's the America that they're trying to make you try to run away.
Speaker 1:Another nigga will bring you back home Like thank your wife, hey got away. Hey, clifford.
Speaker 4:Hey, Clifford, your wife over here.
Speaker 1:That's shitty, though, but so, so it's, it's it's a conversation and it has to in the house and it has to work for your dynamic, and that's also a conversation that will change.
Speaker 4:I was going to say, well, the cool part is it changes.
Speaker 1:It does change because we had shit in our head where we was going to be around and she was like, you know, I kind of like this and I'm like, ok, cool, all right, fuck it. Well then, let's roll with this. And if, alright, fuck it, well then let's roll with this. And if it changes the way we don't, then we'll figure it out from there. But let's be happy, let's be happy. My thing is I will.
Speaker 4:I'm not gonna say I will go along with anything my wife does, as long as I see it's not stressing her out. Once I, once I see that she's being stressed or she's overwhelmed, then that's when I'm like, that's when I step in, like I think you should stop doing this, I'll ask her.
Speaker 1:No, I'll ask her.
Speaker 4:For some things you get stressed. That's a trauma response for me, for for other reasons.
Speaker 1:I got you. That's different. Yes, I was going to say some stresses, though it depends on what it is for me Cause in mind. If it's just stress where you're like, you know this is just unwarranted stress for no fucking reason. There's nothing coming out of this.
Speaker 4:There's been days where I've literally like just took her phone, Like no, you ain't talking to nobody there Because they're stressing you out, so when they call I'll answer yeah, she busy, she in the shower, she taking a shit. She'll call you back later Knowing. And damn well, I got the phone. She ain't calling you back Because she can watch YouTube and TikTok on her iPad.
Speaker 1:She can get too many calls.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to play secret. Put it on silent.
Speaker 1:Nah, it's like the same three people.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean yeah.
Speaker 4:But I think to me that's part of being a provider. Like I always say, provider is not just financial. I think to me that's that's that's part of being a provider. Like I always say, provider is not just financial. I have to, I have to take care of her in all, in all forms and fashion. Her well-being is my responsibility. That's not just money. That's not just money. I got to make sure her heart is right so that way, when the balcony is there, she's ready.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I mean I'll be right with you, she ready, I'll be right there with you, she ready, and then you hit that damn balcony. But that's part of it. This has been an episode. I'm not doing this, no more.
Speaker 1:We're done. You know what Do you want like a traditional role.
Speaker 2:Me. Yeah, oh, don't ask me. Yeah, we're not asking me. I don't know. I don't honestly, for real, for I don't know, honestly I think it but you seem like mad intrigued by that role.
Speaker 4:But then I'm like I don't think, I think, I ooh let me ask you this, des. Oh shit, let me ask you this, des do you think that you'd be willing to give up that part of yourself? Fuck see because, because, because, to be a stay at home wife, to be like like there is a part of the ambition that you're giving up, because now you, because now you're putting somebody else's priorities above yours.
Speaker 2:I was married. Before I was married to John, I was a stay-at-home parent to that person's child. I hated it.
Speaker 4:But then again, that was that person's child.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that may be the issue, but I hated being home. I like my individuality, I like being— you like adult conversation? I love being home. I like my individuality, I like being you like adult conversation. I love adult conversation. I like to be able to. I don't like to ask people for shit.
Speaker 4:I don't like to be like hey, I need X, Y and Z, but see, that's the mindset that you got to think of. See, my wife, don't ask me for shit. That's her money.
Speaker 2:She just asks if it was enough to cover it. That's a controlling thing. I can't tell you if I would be willing to give those parts away, because I've never met anybody that has given me the space to be able to do that. So I don't know if I'd like that or not, because I've always been in relationships where I had to be the provider. I had to. I'm the nigga. I'm this nigga's husband. I'm this nigga's husband. I'm the nigga. I'm this nigga's husband. I'm this. I'm this nigga's husband. I'm daddy.
Speaker 4:I mean this is what I, this is what I do, like every Friday. I pay bills and I go in and say this is what we got left. Do whatever you want.
Speaker 2:I'd probably panic. I mean, the bills are paid. I probably wouldn't know what to do, though, because the bills are paid, I probably wouldn't know what to do though, because the bills are paid, but I've never seen that in my life the bills are already accounted for.
Speaker 4:This is what we have left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do the opposite because I don't want to look at it. I'm like just tell me what's left.
Speaker 4:You know, so it's like but what? And I started doing that so that way there's no confusion about where the money is or where the money is going. Hey, after I paid everything, this is what we had. This is what we have until I get paid again. So what we do with this? Think about it. Choose wisely, because you know, some weeks you got more left over than others.
Speaker 1:So this is what we got. Sometimes you base it wrong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I would like to have that type of mental relief because I am everything. It has been on me. So to have just a break where somebody else is the one doing the thinking about those type of things, I might be a nicer bitch, I don't know.
Speaker 4:Like yesterday. I pulled up to the bank. She said I want you at the bank. I said I got to get the money for gymnastics. She said, oh, I forgot all about that yeah, I would, I would probably like it's cash only, it's cash only. Yeah, you gotta go get cash. It's cash, only can't tap. That's what they don't play and then they give you a paper receipt. Oh hell, that's dope, yeah.
Speaker 1:I receipt oh hell yeah, I lose that, lose that quick yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, that's a great question. I honestly I think it's just I've not seen it, so I I can't guarantee you I'd like it. I do liked the fact that I am independent enough to be able to take care of myself, so that's. I think it's a blessing, but I think it would be great to have somebody take some of the load, not all of it. I don't really need anybody to pay all of my bills, but but it's nice.
Speaker 4:I would like that I would like it.
Speaker 1:It sounds great. Get like a man raised and just go.
Speaker 2:Hey guess what, but I'm still operating in a space where I still I'm still thinking that this is not possible, because I'm not, it doesn't happen in my house. So I'm still in my mind, I'm still like, is this shit even fucking possible?
Speaker 1:so I don't know, yeah, yeah, you manifest what you literally part of the universe out you gotta manifest it, and you know, you believe like that too I do okay, you know you believe like that, I do. You gotta manifest, so I block it. What did we say last time? The universe will get out of your way. I can't manifest it with a different nigga, it has to be this nigga.
Speaker 4:No, it don't have to be you, just no. But see, here's the thing you don't picture nobody. Yeah, exactly when you manifest it, you don't manifest it with. I know how to manifest.
Speaker 2:I got it. I still have some wound healing to do.
Speaker 4:I'm really trying to be nice to Des you know what?
Speaker 2:You've been very nice to me lately I've been trying. You've been great and I was going to commend you on that because you've been very easy to talk to and I really appreciate that.
Speaker 4:So thank you, Kevin, don't worry, I look at you because you're on this side. I've been just so I don't, but now I got to look across the table and I still see her.
Speaker 1:You got to look at her dog, that's just. That's the problem.
Speaker 2:No I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that my thoughts become my things and in the frequency of what is happening, because I mean I literally be in here like I'm one of these niggas' husbands, I'm the husband of this bitch.
Speaker 4:I don't fuck with this my only response to that is that you you dwell in the situation you created yeah, I definitely created this shit.
Speaker 2:I can. You ain't lying. My sister has a tattoo. Your favorite has a tattoo that says you live with the scars that you choose. And I will. I tell you, the more I go along, the more I'm like. Now I think that nigga right. But yeah, my girl don.
Speaker 4:She was speaking facts. Yeah, she gotta get her up here she be spinning.
Speaker 2:I love my baby she be. She gotta get up, but she gotta talk how she doing the bus, uh-uh she has a fucking list.
Speaker 2:That's their natural fucking way of talking, but it's not as bad as it was when she was little. No, she gotta make it worse. Ain't nobody doing that? Ain't nobody doing that. Um, I'll pay her to talk like that and she might do that shit. She might do that shit if you put some a lot of what you're talking. Because she might do that shit. I don't know, when she see this episode, don't be surprised if she get out of the comments like look how much we talking, because I might. I don't know if we were crying. If she did that shit, I'd be crying.
Speaker 1:Put something on it.
Speaker 4:Because that's, that's a nigga that need a speech therapist herself. We can both come over and just start fucking up words and have a good old time.
Speaker 2:I've had it. We are done for the day. This has been another episode Of the Heavyweight Podcast. Oh god, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Make sure that you like, subscribe and share, and until next time, peace.
Speaker 1:Peace, Peace, Sweatin'. That's a wrap. Y'all that's how she rap. Soall that's how she wrote. So make sure you click, like and subscribe. Tune in we on the Austrian platform. Until next time we'll holla at you.
