The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
Baby Jesus Slippers
What does it mean to fight through life’s heaviest moments? The Heavyweight crew dives deep into their personal struggles in a raw, unfiltered conversation about the burdens we all carry.
From blended family dynamics to grief, communication struggles, and internal battles, the hosts share vulnerable stories of pain, growth, and transformation. They explore the differences between mental and physical challenges, emphasizing how inner struggles require constant work.
"You gotta walk through the fire and pray for the lowest degree of burns on the other side." This episode is packed with powerful insights, real talk, and moments of humor that make tough conversations easier to digest.
Join us as we discuss accountability, self-awareness, and the power of facing life’s hardest moments head-on. 💪
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3:The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can weigh in on some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
Speaker 2:so I think it's dope that we can have this conversation. He get up here he be like hey, y'all niggas, I'm the anti-social host of shit and I like that what's good.
Speaker 3:This is episode 190 of the heavyweight podcast. I am your anti-social host and never your favorite. Stutter mcfly back again with this lady and these two guys. Go ahead and state your name for the beautiful people out there.
Speaker 1:Jean.
Speaker 4:Just Jean, like with a G or a J.
Speaker 1:I'll leave that up to interpretation.
Speaker 4:Oh, get out of here Like DNA Jean.
Speaker 1:Just Jean Billie. Jean Jean, you know I am Gene. Okay, it's your boy, molito.
Speaker 2:Why you looking at?
Speaker 1:me like that Disgusted.
Speaker 2:It's your girl, Des the Diva.
Speaker 3:How were your weeks?
Speaker 1:Heavy, but it was good. Good and heavy. A lot going on, a lot of uncertainty, but yeah, good, I'll leave it there. I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, I hope you're doing better.
Speaker 4:I said I'm good. Okay, I had a great week that's what up. I'm still riding the high. My daughter at competition.
Speaker 3:She going to state.
Speaker 1:She's going to the ship.
Speaker 4:My baby going to the ship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's short for championship. I thought they was doing a cruise too.
Speaker 2:I'm like they got a Disney cruise for this.
Speaker 4:We going to the ship Vegas? No, it's actually. It's in Pasadena this year. Oh okay, I believe Nationals will be in Vegas. So if she does good when at State, then we gonna be in Vegas okay, y'all going to Vegas then turned up, turned up alright. So I'm very, very proud of her. I'm very, very proud of her. I'm very, very happy. Her face, her happiness and her glow made me glow so that was lovely.
Speaker 4:So you know I started off good. I had one fucked up day at work, but I ain't gonna let that get me down. I had a good therapy session. My therapist talked me through it and, yeah, I've been doing better man, lighter, healthier. You know what I'm saying yeah, you look good, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you look good, you know what I'm saying. My man foofa's gone, so my dick is longer. Well, never knew.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:We didn't need to know, didn't even need to know.
Speaker 4:Got a little more cushion. I mean I got less cushion for the cushion.
Speaker 3:Who set that?
Speaker 4:you know, when I was over there and he was over here it was a good week, man, everybody happy Getting to the money there's your week.
Speaker 1:You get to follow that.
Speaker 2:It was cool. There's your week. It was cool. How was school School's going good? Yeah, it was good. Thank you for asking. I appreciate that you not grounded this week. How was school School's going good? Yeah, it was good. Thank you for asking.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I appreciate that you not grounded this week Am I grounded. Yeah, you still writing that diary.
Speaker 2:What? What are you talking about? This nigga is calling me, while we should. My next question was like where's my all that and we and we be so much and when we so in tune that when you, when you got to the diary part, I'm hearing I'm like hell, no I couldn't think of the boyfriend name. Oh God, Wait, what was his name?
Speaker 4:I couldn't think of his name.
Speaker 2:Hakeem was the friend. She had a bunch of boyfriends.
Speaker 4:She had Ohaji. She was the hoe on the show in real life.
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 4:In five-year weeks sir. In real life. Yeah, I just said that.
Speaker 1:I just don't yeah don't mess with the Norwood, let's just move on.
Speaker 2:Some of they damn people live locally.
Speaker 3:He just kidding, let's just move on all the thoughts of molith, or molith alone. I am not.
Speaker 2:No they cool, they cool they all right, but for the record, ain't nobody scared of ray jay I'm scared of ray jay.
Speaker 4:I ain't scared of ray jay. Hey, look here, anybody that vince stank will call fine, I ain't fucking listen, I ain't listen, I ain't scared of Ray J Ever since the Ray J interview on whatever station, was that when he said I'm gonna have some homies that like niggas to come through?
Speaker 2:Who was he beefing with Fabulous?
Speaker 1:Fabulous was like who I'm gonna get the niggas that like niggas to come through and I was like what did he just threaten him?
Speaker 2:Listen, he knows people I still ain't scared of.
Speaker 4:Ray J. He said he's going to get the booty warriors.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be right there like Fabulous.
Speaker 4:Who.
Speaker 2:Moesha brother. Yeah, Moe to the E, to the yeah nah. Ain't nobody scared of Ray J? And then you're going to hear okay, period what about your?
Speaker 3:week McFly it was a long week of trying to get better. I struggled to find my identity, so what my identity what did you look for?
Speaker 2:what is it? Titties his identity.
Speaker 4:I get it, I told I get it.
Speaker 2:I'm tired of him. Yeah, I thought Wiz was gonna be screaming.
Speaker 4:Wiz wait what you wanna say, don't make me laugh. Are you telling jokes? Huh, alright. Wait what you want to say. That made me laugh. Are you telling jokes? Huh, what? All right.
Speaker 3:So you struggled. I struggled through the week, but I'm a little bit better now.
Speaker 4:That's what's up. I had to laugh. That's what's up.
Speaker 2:I'm really warm right now, though Shut your ass.
Speaker 3:There's like a warmer heater right here.
Speaker 2:So let me show the people.
Speaker 3:Don't do too much movement, that conductor just.
Speaker 4:My sparkify.
Speaker 2:You know, they really haven't adapted to the fact that I'm a trendsetter and a fashionista, so they make jokes and I'm super high fashion. I don't know what the fuck we going on like I always say, every trend let me, let me, let me, let me dress y'all. I bet you we go viral hey, listen, I'm not I'm gonna just keep on dressing like I'm 40. You're right.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to just trust you, I dress like I'm 40. Listen. I bought me some orange shoes. You put those on us. We are not going to look like we're dressed.
Speaker 2:I would never put these on you. I put some man shit on you, but one thing about me is I'm going to put that shit on and it's going to look good every time.
Speaker 1:So if you put something on one of us, would it sparkle?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I'll put some grown man shit on it.
Speaker 2:I don't want to learn star shit, I'll put some.
Speaker 4:We got some color roids back.
Speaker 2:Shut up Mikla. Oh shit, okay.
Speaker 3:I'm done, done, done, done. All right, let's get into the shenanigans.
Speaker 4:Shit, we ain't stopped. Shenanigans, Right, right.
Speaker 2:We are the definition. If you let a nigga shenanig west, they go shenanigan. It's about to go down okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3:Um, that's funny. You guys know the deal. You know the gist shit's curated by things and such. So fight nigga. Can you share a personal story or a life changing fight that you faced and how did you overcome that shit?
Speaker 2:a physical altercation it could be physical or mental um boy, do I have some fight stories? No, um, I think my biggest overcoming of well, hell, did I overcome that out of it?
Speaker 4:let somebody else go first no, no, keep talking, because you're healing while you're talking keep talking.
Speaker 2:I like it. It's all right, go ahead. Keep talking. One of you niggas.
Speaker 4:Go first no, don't give her no, grace go ahead. Don't give her no grace, let her talk let her keep going yeah, she healing, come on uh, you took, I gotta stop.
Speaker 2:Come on, shut up, mcfly.
Speaker 2:Come on Dad. I'm finna, have to overcome this fight. I'm finna. Get in with McFly he keep on fucking with me about these damn shoes.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think that I'm kind of still overcoming it, but I think through therapy I've been able to overcome a lot of the verbal altercations. I get in with my stepson and mama Okay, because although she doesn't like, my feelings don't really get hurt like that, but she do strike my fucking nerve and so I'm overcoming even reacting to that. And so I'm overcoming even reacting to that, because at this point I realized that something is triggered in her and she's just trying to give me that same knee jerk reaction to whatever's hurting her heals in her, so that she doesn't feel the need to be verbally abusive to really anybody else, because she's like that to everybody, it's not just me, because it's only good for her son to see her be able to manage herself better and it's only good for him to see me manage myself better. It doesn't help that I'm giving into it, because it gives him the notion to think that that's how adults should behave and it's not cool. So that's that's, that's my story.
Speaker 4:Stop it. We're proud of you.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you.
Speaker 4:I will say cause my, my, I had this, I had my. My therapist said on another day she said in every situation you got to ask yourself do you want to be the puppet or the puppet master?
Speaker 2:That's good, not like that.
Speaker 4:Kevin, your answer no, you go first. So think about it. I would say for me to answer the question, hold your little lip.
Speaker 4:What I've overcome was the battle I had with my to be used, expected to be used, but I can't let that moment define, uh, um, define who I am. So that's one thing. I struggle with heavy Um. If you know me, you know what happened. I'm not going to really get into it, but that is something that I recently probably the most thing recently I had to overcome.
Speaker 4:And then the other thing I would say is the other thing I'm overcoming is my behavior in regards to responding to when my daughter upsets me, for when she's not living up to the standard I have of her in my head, it's me reminding myself that, ok, this is her, this is her first time through life, like it's my first time. So I got given her grace and so, fighting, fighting the my internal desire to be like no, I got to correct this now and she needs to understand this now, to understand it no, she's not going to understand everything the first time it's said, and that it really is about the repetition and providing her with a soft place to land when she does feel like she's messed up, so not coming at it at her as rough, so that's, that's, uh, the battles, so all my battles really has been internal because I, like I said before, I'm in the wrong tax practice, throwing hands. I'm not, I'm not going to be property stricken.
Speaker 2:I love the way y'all parent her and she don't see everything. Just the things that you do share, just even the way your mind works about it super dope boy.
Speaker 4:I'm telling you, the last couple of weeks she's been testing Boy, she's been testing Y'all pray for her.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 4:Because you know it's bad when mama mad Shit. I see your mama on the warpath. I can't help you, uh-oh, because I'm trying to get something later.
Speaker 2:Oh Jesus.
Speaker 4:I can't intervene.
Speaker 1:Kevin, I don't know. I feel like grief is a thing I deal with differently now, ever since the loss of my dad, and like how everything happened. So it's like it don't get much worse than that. Somehow it feels like so it's like things happen sometimes and it's like I got to remember to allow feelings. You know what I'm saying. So give myself the time to grieve instead of just march on. So I'm doing that a little more. Unfortunately, I'm having a good practice at it right now, but it's been good. It's been good Instead of trying to power through things, letting it be. You know what I mean. Letting things out. So that's been. The biggest thing is to let go of stuff no, things ain't your fault and allow yourself to grieve properly. So I think that's been the biggest fight I've had in the last few years. Like shit, 10 years almost now. But it's not a good thing to practice because you have to go through certain things.
Speaker 1:But, I'm learning to not just suck it up and go, because that's Pause.
Speaker 2:That's yeah.
Speaker 1:The plight of the working man.
Speaker 4:McFly, you look like you have something deep to say ah, I'll.
Speaker 3:I've been trying to be. You know I'll let you guys talk and then um chime in with any low-hanging fruit that might have happened. But what I'll say is the biggest fight that I've had growing up was the constant. The constantly being written off was the. The biggest fight that I had I had to have overcome in my 39 years was there's always that force of someone trying to tell me that I wasn't supposed to be something or wasn't supposed to exist or wasn't supposed to be successful, or, and always overcoming that battle. Um was my biggest fight, um to date and uh, I think it's a constant uh revolving door because it ends up becoming something else or it comes from somewhere else, rather. But uh, it's the constant fight that I have and it's not like an internal thing, but it's usually somebody's uh belief factor trying to uh trying to apply it to me and then eventually always having to fight against it and improve uh that I am supposed to be where I'm at. So that would be the biggest fight mentally that I've had to overcome.
Speaker 4:Welcome.
Speaker 3:All right. Mental versus physical. How do you differentiate between mental and physical challenges, and which do you find more daunting? How do you prepare for each type?
Speaker 4:The mental challenges are way harder, much harder than the physical, because the mental challenges require repetition of work to kind of like turn it into an automatic response when things happen. So like kind of what, like what Kevin was touching on. What sucks about the mental part is that the event has to keep occurring for you to progress through it. What the physical challenges, if you show like, let's say, you want to lose weight, you want to get stronger, that's just showing up every day and putting in work and you can get growth by that, just by showing up when in the mental part you have to actively be thinking or actively be in a situation to improve whatever that challenge is yeah, mental is definitely by far harder because body is mind over matter.
Speaker 1:At that point shit, like you can be tired, but well, I mean, I guess the body's gonna go as far as the body's gonna go, like the mind can go beyond, but the mind also can fight you, so it's like a battle of yourself so that's when you just take them.
Speaker 4:Herbalife pills.
Speaker 1:But what's this?
Speaker 4:You don't know about Herbalife pills Shit. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Speaker 3:You should tell her the story about your Herbalife experience.
Speaker 4:I feel that way. Right now that they got them pre-workout, I'm on shit.
Speaker 1:Oh, you wired up.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I could probably. I'm moving house right now Three hours Whole house it's crazy. Pack and ship. I don't know.
Speaker 1:How do I handle mental? I do a lot of. I think. I always say that like just self-reflection and trying to figure out what the hell is. The reason I feel a certain way on why I'm not doing something Like discipline is a mental thing and that's yeah that's tough, Like that's one of my hardest ones to accomplish, Cause I don't know. That's just that's and I'm. That's what I'm trying to learn, how I accomplish that one more practice.
Speaker 4:Yeah, cause I can say like not to cut you off, but not because I can say like not to cut you off, but not because I can say like, for me with the, with the gym, at first it was discipline of me forcing myself to just walk in and do something. And then I added accountability. I had friends help me with, you know, body bobby, shout out, body bobby, you know, help me with with plans. And now I'm tracking progress. I'm I'm tracking weight, and so now he's expected of me to see what I've done that day, what the results is. So now that gave me more drive. Like shit, let me go do this. So I got to hear God damn, pat, it's like, even when it's a rest day, I'm like, fuck, I should go to the gym, like I, I want it, I want it like, so it took the repetition of like so you, you take, you take. It takes the discipline to turn into a habit, and I think what people struggle with is going through the process of getting through the discipline to the habit.
Speaker 1:But if you, you have to have it's, it's about will and drive yeah, I mean mike tyson did say that the best with the discipline, but that's a hard fucking thing to do. Yeah, it's to do the things you don't like doing as if you love them. Yep, and I'm like god dog, that's you have to.
Speaker 4:You have to get to the mindset of finding enjoyment and uncomfortability when you're not uncomfortable like you have to find that you have to understand that if I'm uncomfortable or if I'm going through something, it's yeah, it sucks here in the moment, but the overall process means I'm growing.
Speaker 1:So you have to like the overall process because you know, and I think I find it easier to do, get myself disciplined for more physical things as opposed to doing things that are more cerebral, if that makes it make I agree.
Speaker 1:So it's like I can get myself up to like work out and shit, but it's like, okay, now I gotta be creative or write something or do this or like something that's not just with my body, like I gotta use my mind for this and for some reason I I gotta find that again and that's I gotta figure out how to take that from the physical and put it on the mental I 100 agree, because I think about me trying to be more intentional in my marriage and in my role as a father.
Speaker 4:That's something I have to constantly think about. So every interaction, I have to not just respond. I have to think, OK, what is the intention by what I'm saying and how do I want to be portrayed and what have I? What promises have I made? Yeah, Do I need to keep in this moment? So it's not just it's. I can't at home, I can't just have knee jerk reactions. I have to process everything to live up to, you know, the thought process of being intentional in my words and in my actions. So that part of being that it's, it is a lot. I'm like I'm just going to take a goddamn nap.
Speaker 1:That's a lot, I'm like I'm just gonna take a goddamn nap, that's a lot yeah, but I think it's good because it's it's goal setting. It sets goals in your, in your life and how to try to accomplish things. If you just do the nap thing or just leave it alone, then you're not gonna have any, yeah, but you're not gonna drive to try it. You know what I mean. So yeah, I gotta just sit down and write fuck.
Speaker 2:I agree with everything they said. Mcfly, what you got to say, because they said it all, I mean your turn, apologies it's alright, you did a great job. No, oh say, what's the question?
Speaker 4:out loud. You did a great job.
Speaker 2:Nah, nah oh say what's the question out loud, nah, nah yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to figure out the best way to differentiate just say it, because I don't think that was kind of more of a preferring one over the other. I'm trying to see the differentiate part like how I prefer the physical, oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:I definitely prefer preferring one over the other.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to see the differentiate part, like how I prefer the physical.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah I definitely prefer the physical over the mental For me. Mentally maybe because I'm more cerebral for my brain I prefer the mental part over the physical.
Speaker 1:The mental challenges.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my brain challenges yeah.
Speaker 4:My brain's always working.
Speaker 3:So for me, mentally, it is the bigger challenge, but it's not harder for me, like I would prefer to deal with the mental challenge over the physical one, because, especially if you're if, like when you you speak of like your home life, if I know for a fact, I can wake up each day and know that yeah, I might not know the right answer, but that I can figure out maybe the puzzle of how to get to a conclusion. It seems like my brain kind of go off. Thank God Now we can figure out the puzzle, as opposed to like my brain physically is like the physical task of trying to hold things together together Sounds more draining to me, but that's how my brain, brain processes shit.
Speaker 4:Like I would much rather take it off mentally but when you say the task of pulling things together, it has a mental aspect.
Speaker 3:But I'm talking about the task of like, when I think about how draining it is to like, when we talk about going to the gym, like, say, if I need to hit gym, then go to run the errands and then do all like, that shit for me is draining, just for the simple fact that I understand what it takes to get, oh, got you A, b, c, d, I'm like fuck. But like mentally if you say you know, today, if you just put the equation together and get this done and that done and that done and like, ok, I can take care of all this shit. Get this done and that done and that done and like, okay, I can take care of all this shit by just making sure this is taken care of. It's mentally for me. It's like that sounds more rewarding for me and it makes me be like I more prefer that over the physical act of doing shit, because I feel like I have to do a lot of physical shit from from get-go anyway.
Speaker 4:So I kind of feel like what you're talking about from the mental aspect is exhausting to me because in my mind I set a schedule. Yeah, Because I got 10 things to do and I got 18 hours to do it. So if something takes longer than what I planned, I'm like, well, fuck, something ain't getting done.
Speaker 3:I just know me mentally if I can get through 24 hours and I got the shit done and that 24 hours flew by, I feel like I accomplished something, because in that 24 hours, because if it flies by, then I feel like, when it feels like it takes forever, and I'm sitting there, focused on the fact that we're on hour six and I still got this much shit left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm good in chaos, though it's weird. Yeah, like it gets to them like fuck and then I gotta do. I'll do everything. I had six hours to do in two hours and it's like I don't know why I did that to myself. That was dumb as fuck. But so, yeah, I don't know. That's yeah, that's that interesting. That's a good question.
Speaker 3:Alrighty Three Motivation and support. What motivates you to take on the significant challenges and who provides support during these times? How important is having support.
Speaker 1:Myself, my kids, my wife.
Speaker 4:I'm going to let this take it, since she skipped the last question.
Speaker 2:I didn't skip the last question. The guy said you did a great job in answering the question.
Speaker 4:I didn't even need to say nothing else because you said it all but people want to hear your voice, so that's why I asked the question they hear me all the time.
Speaker 2:You said what's my motivation? It depends on the circumstance. Really to be honest with you, to keep calm and not act up.
Speaker 2:Hayden is my motivation because he's going to be sad if I go to jail for beating up his mama and he's your support system, my support system. That also depends on what it is. He's a kid so obviously I'm not going to let him support me through that. I just tell him to stay in the kid's place when it comes to that. But for my support system for that, for that particular situation, I'm going to say it's myself and my therapist, because nothing that my sisters or nothing that my friends is telling me to do is conducive with positive things maybe that Dominique going to get her. So the best thing is me and my therapist are my biggest support factors to that it's probably good if everyone else is telling you.
Speaker 3:I did better, I caught myself leave me alone, leave me alone.
Speaker 2:You are not about to harass me for this next hour see, I caught myself leave me alone.
Speaker 3:Anybody else?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was saying my kids, wife, family, motivation, myself, shit, wanting to see what things look like. Support is. I don't know how this sounds, so I'll just say it, but I feel like anything I've ever set myself to do, I've never actually felt like I've had anyone doubt me, so I feel like I always have support.
Speaker 4:If you need that type of support, I will be your doubter.
Speaker 1:Just be like. You can't do that, so I don't know it's trifling.
Speaker 3:I've always felt like for a good call just sign up to be a hater, yeah right volunteer bullshit, ass hater, trifling if you need one if you need a hater, I'm here for you like trifling?
Speaker 1:so I don't know. I just always feel like I have support from somewhere, like within the confines of the group of the people that I you're circling. Yeah that's what's up so quick and easy. That's what she said.
Speaker 3:Uh huh, uh huh ew my support system or my Cisco dragon pants ah, does it release the dragon it released the dragon pause.
Speaker 1:I was like I don't know where this, that, what does that mean?
Speaker 2:ew, oh shit this that?
Speaker 3:What does that mean, ew?
Speaker 2:Oh shit, Don't release a damn thing. Sit next to me.
Speaker 1:Ouch Because they spit fire. Oh God Sorry.
Speaker 2:Y'all stressing me out, shut up.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry.
Speaker 2:Y'all stressing me out, sorry, shut up. Sorry, he hating on my damn shoes.
Speaker 3:I'm not hating.
Speaker 2:You ain't on my shoes I'm not hating. You got on Cisco pants?
Speaker 3:Yes, you ain't got no room to hate on and I'm going to do the Care Bear, stare you ain't got no room to hate on nobody. I'm going to do the Care Bear Stare.
Speaker 1:I hate you guys. You're just making me be mean.
Speaker 4:I don't want to be mean.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be mean you ain't got no room, I ain't saying nothing, I'm just laughing. I know, you know so what?
Speaker 2:popped in my head was that kid son, you going to say the Care Bear song.
Speaker 3:I was thinking that at some point Cisco did have hair like that.
Speaker 2:Okay, it was blonde. He never dyed it pink. I never see that man with the damn pink hair.
Speaker 1:He had the platinum once. Oh, the platinum.
Speaker 2:What does that have to do with pink? It's not pink.
Speaker 1:It wasn't pink, but it was platinum.
Speaker 2:The dragon.
Speaker 4:Okay, you answer the question.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to answer it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got my to answer it, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, I got my eye on you. I'm going to let the nigga just go ask another question.
Speaker 3:I don't know if it's a. I guess friends would be a support system.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:For me. You guys support me, you know, even though you know.
Speaker 2:Ooh, that dress is scandalous. I didn't know another nigga couldn't handle it. Ooh, that dress is scandalous. No one else can handle it.
Speaker 1:I saw some niggas singing that and I was like, hey, are you singing the thong song?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's it. Yeah, you guys have supported me, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, we believe in you.
Speaker 2:Of course. Yeah, I know course.
Speaker 3:I feel warm.
Speaker 1:I don't even know what's. This episode got multiple it has a lot oh god, I feel warm, the furry dragon, this episode got multiple. It has a lot, oh God, I feel warm.
Speaker 4:Should it be the furry dragon you want me to answer?
Speaker 1:Yeah, go ahead. Oh, you haven't answered. Huh, no, I haven't answered. Go ahead, you try to slide.
Speaker 4:My greatest motivation and support like you, kevin, I'd say is my family, my motivation. My wife has been my greatest support. I've said many times that this woman has been by me at my worst, so she deserves everything I have at my best and I give her that. I also have great. I get great support from my brothers and sisters. I can talk to them open and they will. They will listen, give solid advice before they start talking shit.
Speaker 4:My brother is a Gemini, so when he turn up, it's turned up and we do nigga shit. Well, yeah, my family, my family, my friends you know the people I consider friends. You know I feel like I have a good circle of people I can communicate with and that support me. Even like before today I was talking, roy had called me, I was talking, we was talking, we always talk about money, stocks and shit, and I really appreciate him for that because he always you know, every time it's like you know he get wind of something hey, I don't know if you can, but this is what I hear is coming and a lot of times that shit pan out, and so I appreciate that because he's supporting me in my retirement, which also supports my family, so I like having that. But I feel like I've had a lot of people support me, and some people support me in ways I didn't expect, so I've had a good life.
Speaker 1:Uber Eats, uber Eats, uber Eats for me, that's also support.
Speaker 2:Uber Eats, uber Eats for me, that's also support they be having too many weird ass things on the internet that happen when they delivering food look here if I order food, someone eat my fries, then we fighting. They be eating fries, they be sipping out the drink. I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I don't get drinks, but they can eat my fries. That's cool. Nah, I eat at Taco Bell.
Speaker 4:They lick the shells you all right, mcfly, mm-hmm, you pondering, mm-hmm, you pondering, mm-mm. Okay, it's hot, you going to answer.
Speaker 3:I did answer. I said my friends support me.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:And I'm warm. You should be. You got a whole dragon on your thigh.
Speaker 3:I'm just waiting To hit the match you should be With a whole dragon. On your thigh Strike the match.
Speaker 1:Just Drag on. Yeah, that's hilarious actually. The flame, flame on Motherfucker. Oh shit, I gotta stop.
Speaker 4:Oh man, we gotta ask the next question are we gonna be here for a while?
Speaker 3:alright, alright, alright. Growth and transformation how do you um? How have these fights changed you? What personal growth and transformation have you experienced as a result?
Speaker 1:I'm a lot calmer shit yeah, damn y'all ain't even seen me act up you must have been turnt up back then cause, if this is calm, it is.
Speaker 2:Y'all ain't even seen me act up. Did you just walk around with the other person? Y'all ain't even seen me act up. Y'all seen a minute reaction out of me. You've not seen me act up.
Speaker 1:I am a lot. He was Tupac for real.
Speaker 2:Listen, bug fucking life. But I am. I am a lot calmer now, but calm down, You'll be a thug, the mantra Listen and that was a good album.
Speaker 1:That's that, but he he didn't read. That's jail.
Speaker 4:Sorry, sorry, but that's dope, that's good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree I feel the same with you.
Speaker 4:I'm happy you're healing a little bit, I mean, I'm a little bit, I mean, and when she shoots that it's a lot more calm too.
Speaker 1:It's tame, it's like hey, listen, I'll give her some notes boom, you've been shot.
Speaker 4:Thank you, I don't know what gun go boom, shooting Boom, you've been shot, thank you, I don't know what gun go boom, I would say. For me, the answer is I'm able to look more internal as to why I'm reacting or feeling a certain way and I'm I'm able to take accountability for my role in what's happening, because even if you're not the cause or it wasn't your intention, you still you play a role in every situation. It could be a good role or bad role. So I think I've, I've journeyed to the point to where I now I can now look at myself and see what roles and what I've done to dictate the experiences I've had, and it's given me better insight to avoid certain things be a lot of things that taught me a lot more gratefulness like I'm a lot more grateful in life with things I've gotten accomplished.
Speaker 1:I'm learning to stop and like appreciate that instead of looking forward all the time, and like that's where I think I fuck up sometimes, just trying to just always get to the next thing like all right, there's something more, instead of just well, what about this, enjoy this, you know what I mean. So that, and then more grace with people, letting them feel how they feel and you know, yeah, uh, not react in a way, that's just how I think things are right or things should be or whatever. It's like you got to think about how they feel or why they're doing the things or saying the things. They say. So a lot more. What's the entry? The opposite of introspective, outro, outward, when you're looking outward towards people. So I think all my fights have taught me things like that.
Speaker 3:It's not about me.
Speaker 4:Let either man hear you say he's thinking he's cooking up something good he's cooking it it's very surface level, okay, uh For me.
Speaker 3:I think that the fight for me the best way I say it. I feel like I haven't felt transitioning-wise, I don't feel like I've had my biggest fight yet, but I do feel like the world kind of been giving grace from what I should be doing as far as the hell I should be giving.
Speaker 1:The hell you should be giving or giving. Giving Okay.
Speaker 3:Like I should. Like I don't lash out like I should be lashing out.
Speaker 4:Gotcha, could that be a byproduct of your own internal peace, your own internal self worth?
Speaker 3:Yeah, but at the same token it's sometimes I feel like internal peace. In order to have the true peace that I want, I have to raise hell at some point Like true hell, you definitely got to stand up for yourself. So I don't feel like that's happened yet, but when it happens.
Speaker 4:Can I ask you why?
Speaker 3:Mainly for other people's benefit, as far as not wanting to destroy certain, I guess peace for other people for that moment. But when I start getting to that point where I say fuck other people's peace.
Speaker 4:It's going to be dangerous, yeah.
Speaker 3:But I'm there, I'm very, very close to that. But that growth is just from understanding that.
Speaker 4:Can you just give me a heads up so I can put my vest on?
Speaker 3:Put your vest on. It ain't like I'm going to a shooting spree at work or some shit.
Speaker 1:What do you think's holding you if you're close? What do you think's holding you if you don't mind me asking?
Speaker 3:yeah, I just feel like it's certain people's piece that that. But there will be a byproduct of me deciding to fucking crash out that they're going to end up catching more of the hell just off of a yeah, sorry, I'm looking at the screen by association just because they're they're near me. It's gonna be like oh shit like why am I? Catching the heat too, like that kind of shit but um.
Speaker 1:So now here's a question if you're close, what makes what's gonna do? You think there's gonna be a trigger to it, or do you think you're just going to say fuck it? I'm sure I'm just like fuck it, okay, okay.
Speaker 4:So, basically, you're just waiting for the one thing to make you completely crash out. Yeah, and we're not talking about Doja Cat crash out.
Speaker 3:No no.
Speaker 4:I'm like, hey, man, what's going on? If you show up one day and you didn't cut your braids off, I'm like, are you alright? Because if I see you with a kitchen cut? I'm like, yeah, you get it.
Speaker 3:Nah, I'm not. I'm not going to hurt myself in that process, Damn this nigga said kitchen cut.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that would be hey kitchen, kitchen cut yeah, yeah, that would be hey we gotta talk.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hey, I'm here for you. So everyone's answered yeah. Overcoming fear how do you overcome fear or doubt when facing a significant challenge? What strategies help you stay focused and motivated?
Speaker 4:I think the only way to overcome fear is to embrace it. Yeah, that's, I mean that's that's it.
Speaker 1:That's. The only answer I could fear is to embrace it. Yeah, that's. I mean. That's, that's it. That's the only answer. I could think I was like I mean there ain't shit you could do about it either.
Speaker 2:Like you gotta.
Speaker 4:you gotta face the head on or be scared, you gotta walk through the fire and pray for the lowest degree of burns On the other side.
Speaker 2:That's a good way to put that.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I'm saying Everybody just answered it unanimously.
Speaker 4:It's one of those things where all you can do is meet it with force.
Speaker 1:Meet force with force or just those are the two things you do, either face it or not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're either going to go with it or you're going to be scared.
Speaker 4:But if you don't face it, you're still facing it in another way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's what.
Speaker 2:I mean, you're just going to go away from it Touche.
Speaker 1:That's true. Is that facing it or is that just going away from it?
Speaker 4:But if it's the fear of what an outcome will be, or it's a fear because you just don't want to do a certain thing, but you know that if you don't do it it's going to be have a negative response or a negative reaction, and the only reason why you're not doing it is because you're weary of what's on the other side you're going to always think of. You're going to have those thoughts of what if or what could have been.
Speaker 1:I don't believe that, because niggas don't like heights and they're like I top of a building.
Speaker 3:That girl had fear when they were running that relay race and she hit.
Speaker 1:She didn't know that was coming. She whooped that nigga yeah she hit her on purpose, she hit her on purpose. Oh, did you hear her Her thing? She said it was an accident. She said it was an accident. Yeah, she said it was an accident, fuck her.
Speaker 2:But looking at her parents, you can kind the damn girl, oh yeah yeah, she was mad.
Speaker 1:The old girl was leaving her, was fucking her up, she was gone, yeah she was passing and she just got charged too. She should, yeah, she should definitely for assault yeah, battery I guess it would be. Yeah, she said it was an accident. I hope people don't think that I would do something like this as we're watching you go yeah, she was like I know what it sounds crazy, but like I was like my hand went back and I'm like you could look at her daddy and tell he constructed the damn story.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I would just say I thought fear is just an emotion like any other emotion. You just have to learn how to process it correctly because you get to the underlining reason why the fear is there. You get to the underlining reason why the fear is there. Are you really fearful of what's in front of you or are you fearful of the outcome?
Speaker 1:of what's in front of you. If you go through it, I feel like it's good to be afraid of some shit yeah, it's cool and, like I said, like there's certain things I wouldn't expect you.
Speaker 4:I'm not gonna walk into a lion's den well, yeah, that's just that's, that's healthy fear, yeah because it's like, but I've seen videos of people living with them and petting them yeah and I'm like, but that's one of those things I'm hungry, it's not gonna regret it won't be a regret or I don't feel like I missed out I'm saying the.
Speaker 4:I know what you're saying. The regret part comes to more of, like, the internal things, not not the. I mean the physical fear of, like hurting yourself. Yeah, don't do that. But I'm talking about when it's, when it's something that you have to work on, uh, for your and your internal peace or your internal um frame of mind, like that fear is that's, that's what's going to come back to haunt you, haunt you if things still don't work out in your favor.
Speaker 3:You know what fear I had Shout out to Scrappy G. That's when he was referring to old school, and then somehow it transitioned to me and I said how the fuck did we get there?
Speaker 1:That's funny, did you?
Speaker 4:not know.
Speaker 3:I'm old school, I guess I fuck it did, it did slide in.
Speaker 2:When did you time?
Speaker 1:out, time out. When did you start rapping?
Speaker 4:come on, it was 20 years ago. Come on, now remember before.
Speaker 1:What do we call old school?
Speaker 3:yeah, I agree. I just when he said it I was like damn, why do you have to transition to me?
Speaker 2:I mean, because it was 20 years ago, the gentleman was six. He was three. Oh yeah, he's 23. He's 23.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:He was a baby, Sorry.
Speaker 1:Stena, I didn't realize that You're like I did, yeah.
Speaker 2:Damn yeah. I'm going to have to watch the tape, but In his eyes you and Snoop are leveled, so that works out. No, all right.
Speaker 3:You know how long Snoop been rapping.
Speaker 2:Shout out to Scrappy Hell. We was three minutes.
Speaker 3:Snoop a grandpa, we're going to shoot past what Scrappy G was. When Snoop started rapping I thought, yeah, a prayer, because I wasn't even was when Snoop started rapping. I thought yeah, yeah, a prayer yeah, because I wasn't even. Yeah, snoop.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he was still attached to his mama.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was for sure. It hadn't dropped Not born yet.
Speaker 3:Snoop shut, but anyway, I just yeah that fear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can dig that Old.
Speaker 2:I can dig that I'm old, I can dig that old is a mindset, it's not it definitely.
Speaker 4:Is that to my knees?
Speaker 2:it definitely is my knee hurt right now? It definitely is a mindset hey, knees, stop hurting.
Speaker 3:My mind says it's not, don't be there, yeah you.
Speaker 2:You can command your do not give me start. You can command your body to not be in pain.
Speaker 1:No, that's true.
Speaker 2:But you're still getting older, no matter what. But I just don't think that age and time exist. I really do think it's a mindset.
Speaker 4:That's a different conversation Don't fall and break your hip. So I'm working the same day Every day.
Speaker 1:Don't.
Speaker 4:Don't go in there. Don't do it. Okay, the rabbit hole? No, don't go in, don't go in there, don't go, don't do it.
Speaker 1:Okay, the rabbit hole gets deep. I can go further. We'll be here all day, just.
Speaker 4:All right, I would have said fuck you too, but the list was full.
Speaker 3:Impact on life. How have these experiences impacted other areas of your life, such as relationships or career?
Speaker 2:I don't want to date nobody else with no damn kids say it again I don't want to be with nobody else with no kids. Now, at my age I know it's likely that I'll end up being with somebody with kids, but they got to have their baby mamas in control, and by in control I mean whatever positive deceased.
Speaker 4:You want a good co-parenting situation here we get yes, no a very good co-parenting situation please, because what if that kid has grown you ain't gotta deal with it, love it.
Speaker 2:Who got a grandpa? Love it, love it. Okay, because I grandpa taking that cialis. Listen, I, I, I'm certified to pass meds, nigga, what are you trying to do? Um, I just yeah, no, I, I can't with anybody else that has children that they don't have a good, positive relationship with the mom.
Speaker 1:That's too much. Yeah, makes a lot of sense. Shit, that's your piece.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh God, kevin Excuse me sorry, my bad.
Speaker 1:I apologize, I shouldn't have done that right in the mic.
Speaker 2:Right into the mic. No, it's cool. No, it's cool, I mean he's, you know, hard burn. I took some Pepsi, but you old as hell.
Speaker 1:I took some Pepsi. Yeah, I'm on Pepsi.
Speaker 2:It's a mindset. Ask the fucking question.
Speaker 1:I feel like other areas I find myself having to like remember to feel bad sometimes and you can't be that high. No, not for myself, like for other people and stuff, like when things happen sometimes and I'm like, depending on what it is, sometimes I'm like, but I think a lot of this shit that I've dealt with made me a lot more callous to certain things, which I shouldn't be, because I used to not be like that.
Speaker 1:And then it's like man that ain't shit Shut up, and I'm trying to not, and then it's like man, that ain't shit Shut up, and I'm trying to not. So I think that's the most that is affecting me is a little more calloused, but I don't know, maybe that's not that bad, I'm not sure.
Speaker 4:I'm still not sure about that. When I think about my experience, the one thing that comes to mind is communication. I've learned that I need to be able to communicate my thoughts and my feelings in the moment so that it doesn't linger into something or I assume something or they assume something because I'm not being up front with my views, opinions and my feelings in that moment, especially regarding, like, my marriage. Right, I can't hold her accountable for things if she has no knowledge of what's pissing me off. I can't just say you know, because a lot of times you know shit happens. You'd be like you'd be mad about it, but you just keep going on because shit got to be done.
Speaker 4:So what I've learned especially recently is just to voice the problem when it's a problem, because for me personally it always tends to be a bigger problem the second time around. But now I didn't say nothing the first time. Now the second time it's here and now. But now I got smoke from both times. I'm sorry, I got smoke from both times that I'm expressing and I've learned that that was not good.
Speaker 4:So with me I understand that it's just communicating, and I mean not just in my marriage, it's like even with my daughter, even in my friendships, even here on the podcast. It's just communicating what my feelings are and my intentions, communicating what my feelings are and my intentions, and then not only communicating but then setting the boundaries so that you don't have less, so that you don't have the moments where you get upset or you feel like you're overwhelmed or you feel like you know you're being taken advantage of or shit like that. So you set the boundaries and then you live in the confines of your boundaries so that way you always feel secure in what you're doing. But those boundaries and those feelings need to be out front on the table so everyone knows what they are, everybody understands what your position is, and so then it's not like they're getting hit with a blind side. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:That's a super rare opinion, but I actually I like super rare opinion but I actually like that about you, that's not rare.
Speaker 4:You do that often Very good.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to say it. It's nice he's putting this on my nerves, oh God.
Speaker 2:Jesus, he does. I swear on Baby Jesus slippers. I can't say you sometimes, did you say?
Speaker 4:on Baby Jesus slippers, and that's going to be the name of the goddamn episode.
Speaker 2:Well, I do. I like that about you. I think you do a great job communicating and you allow people to come and communicate to you. I like that For real On baby Jesus slippers. At least I didn't give Jesus a middle name this time. Listen, because he been Jesus Hezekiah that nigga was barefoot when he was. Listen Because he beat Jesus Hezekiah that nigga was barefoot when he was. Listen, my Jesus had slippers on.
Speaker 1:He had them, jerusalems Okay.
Speaker 2:My Jesus had slippers.
Speaker 4:But, and he dropped 40 of those.
Speaker 2:No, not these particular ones, but similar. Now, if those was Jesus, I was like hey, you better, was it those Yep? No, not these particular ones, but similar.
Speaker 1:Now, if those was Jesus, I was like, hey, you better put those in the music.
Speaker 2:Not these particular ones, but similar. My Jesus had slippers.
Speaker 1:You know, going back to what you were saying, I think it's funny because I tell, like Amanda, that sometimes, like when she's like mad about something or something with work or friends or something, anything, well I'm like, but did you tell them that? Because if you didn't tell them that they don't know, you can't be mad at them for that right and like I think a lot of people don't want to have that uncomfortable ass conversation. Where he's like I, I tell myself that.
Speaker 4:Where I'm like I don't do this shit, but how I can't just be mad because in my experience or but my experience is that when you have the conversation it's not easy to have a conversation where you know that it's only gonna go one or two ways. Either they're gonna take offense or they're gonna say something in return, and you and now you have a different view like fuck, I'm the one that's wrong. So now, like you have to be like, being able to communicate effectively is being able to take accountability in the moment.
Speaker 4:Yeah, absolutely if I come to you and say, hey, like, fuck it. I say, hey, I didn't like this, this and this, and they go. Well, you said, well, fuck, alright, alright, my bad, you know what I mean. Like you have to be able that grace has to be extended both ways. You have to be able and willing to take accountability when your anger or your whatever your experience is misplaced. Yeah, and a lot of people don't do that shit well, I may hire you to be my therapist.
Speaker 2:We might.
Speaker 4:Counselor no the session's gonna be free.
Speaker 2:I may hire married.
Speaker 3:You be knowing what you be talking about mcfly I just know in certain aspects of my life, I do know that, like you said, when I have boundaries, that I know for a fact that the people that do know my boundaries know that there's certain lines not to cross with me. Therefore, that peace is is always intact. But again I say, when that other fucking shoe drops and I lash the fuck out, can I?
Speaker 4:say a PSA on top of that, when he drops the other shoe, can you not call me to ask me what's wrong with him? If you can't communicate with him, you're the problem.
Speaker 2:I can't communicate with him.
Speaker 4:You're the problem. I can't. I. I stopped doing that shit a long time ago. People used to always try to use me as a middleman. What's going on? And they call them.
Speaker 1:It feels like there's a storm coming hey if it is, hey nigga if it is.
Speaker 2:I got my raincoat oh my god, I have a whole rain outfit shoes oh my lord, she got outfit shoes matching coat.
Speaker 4:She got way too excited, way too Way too.
Speaker 2:At least you know if you get the trip. I'm going to be stylish while you're doing it.
Speaker 4:You know, I always I tell them the trip, I say, nigga, just let me know so I can. I'll make sure I'll let you go to the line when I say, hey, nigga, your job, calm down, yeah, Like I was with you here no, no like I was like think about, think about them kids, think about them size 17 of our knee, stop right there, that's.
Speaker 3:That's a tall baby with that being said, this has been episode 190 of the heavyweight podcast uh, again, we appreciate you like, subscribe, share and comment all that shit. Uh, till next time.
Speaker 2:We're not that old I'm not old at all, I'm the baby that's a wrap, y'all.
Speaker 1:That's. That's how she wrote, so make sure you click like subscribe. Tune in we on austrian platform. So until next time we'll have to ask you.
