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The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
Anita Maxwin
Ever noticed kids love the packaging more than the gift? In this episode, we share heartwarming stories from Christmas, celebrating simple joys and family bonds. We explore unspoken camaraderie in shared spaces, like gyms, and tackle friendship dynamics—balancing boundaries, disagreements, and honesty. With 2025 on the horizon, we reflect on personal growth, past achievements, and aspirations for creative success. Packed with humor, insight, and inspiration, this episode is a must-listen!
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 3:The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can weigh in on some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
Speaker 2:What's good.
Speaker 3:This is episode 179 of the Heavyweight.
Speaker 1:Podcast.
Speaker 3:I'm your anti-social host and never your favorite. Stata McFly, back again with this lady and these two guys. Go ahead and state your name for the people out. Chill you like how I emphasize it. I was trying to like convey a what's that? Some passion I'm trying to get into my acting back you are definitely a favorite. I, I don't. I just like you know, I like to cause dramatic effect because I'm trying to create a narrative. So what people have something to talk about when they listen to us? So I'm not your favorite.
Speaker 4:They talked about them shoes for a while.
Speaker 2:They sure did.
Speaker 3:They said ooh, I want a pair, I just know a lot of things were said about them. If we end up with some sponsors from some milk companies, burger companies, I'm all for it.
Speaker 4:Get it as a fair life yeah.
Speaker 2:How were your weeks?
Speaker 3:How was your week?
Speaker 4:No, we had to do names.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Shit, I'm the Werther's original. Oh, oh, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:That sound like the oldest nigga game. Like that's a flex. It do sound like the oldest nigga game. Like that's a flex.
Speaker 2:It do sound like something you know, something you can suck on pause and I am very much in shock that this man just sat over there and said he had a little something you can suck on, hey, as a diva.
Speaker 1:Very much in shock that this man just sat over there and said he had a little something you can suck on hey.
Speaker 3:How are your wings? Are you soggy From them? Sucking on you? I got socks.
Speaker 4:Oh no, you got socks, socks, that's it. No underwear, just socks, that's fucked up?
Speaker 3:yes, were they nice socks? Every sock is nice, but I don't know. No, they're not. Oh, this is true they're not.
Speaker 1:No, they're not it's true, this is some kirkland shit, it's cool oh damn who we were.
Speaker 4:Like nice, nice nike socks, I like kirkland, kirkland be soft.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, it's probably nike. You know kirkland. Get down, they be stealing brands. Put their name on it. Kids is happy, though they was happy, they enjoyed Got there.
Speaker 4:How much time did you spend putting shit together?
Speaker 1:None, it's all about pre-built.
Speaker 3:You got it like that. You got money like that. They didn't want nothing too big.
Speaker 1:That's what she said. A whole lot of crafts and shit, so I'll be spending a lot of time cleaning yeah, you got extra paint for the house. Yeah, you know what's funny actually um, yeah, the valve guy, she's gonna repaint her room. I'm like I'm cool with that. I was like that's what you want, I'll buy the thing how?
Speaker 3:How many years have you experienced them playing with the boxes more than the toys?
Speaker 1:It's simultaneous now. Now it's just like hey, that's not part of oh, fuck it.
Speaker 4:My week was good man. Christmas was cool Ate a lot.
Speaker 3:Mac and cheese.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was cool man, you was cool. Ate a lot Mac and cheese.
Speaker 3:It was cool, man Left me a plate right.
Speaker 4:I mean it had an expiration date. You didn't swing by and get it quick enough.
Speaker 1:Damn.
Speaker 4:We didn't want it to go bad.
Speaker 1:How long was the expiration date? 35 minutes 16 hours.
Speaker 4:Damn.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 3:Jack.
Speaker 2:Dorsey.
Speaker 1:Didn't even have a chance.
Speaker 3:They didn't even have the Jack Dorsey, the 24-hour count no the 16 hours.
Speaker 4:Damn, that's cold. Huh, hey, man, that's cold. I try to tell them. My daughters seem very happy, my wife look good, as always.
Speaker 1:At least you got socks oh you got the water right, you got time huh, I got time. You're like I got time today, babe.
Speaker 3:You're like sweet I got time did you get the water?
Speaker 4:what water?
Speaker 3:the water you said you're getting for christmas the glass of water, the glass of water no was it the hose?
Speaker 4:I didn't change the filter on the refrigerator yet, so I couldn't drink it did you at least drink it out of the Stanley.
Speaker 3:Are you gonna drink it out of the Stanley still?
Speaker 4:oh, I did that. Wait, wait, wait, oh, I did that what you can't drink it unless it's wow, the filter is bad, wow though you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:He said bougie.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Also shout out to my lovely wife. Her birthday will be this Friday.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday, happy birthday.
Speaker 4:She is beautiful. Yes, she is a Capricorn.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like a good Capricorn and she's my biggest oppa, what Happy birthday beautiful.
Speaker 3:How was your week?
Speaker 4:It was cool, hold on Also. Happy birthday to my sister-in-law.
Speaker 3:she also a Capricorn, happy birthday sister-in-law is she a moon rising, or what is that they say?
Speaker 4:I don't know, but she, she's my favorite sister-in-law everybody has a sun and a moon sign.
Speaker 2:She's my favorite sister-in-law. I don't know that. I always tell her she's my favorite, isn't it?
Speaker 1:just take a good moment. Everybody has a sun sign and a moon sign.
Speaker 2:That's our birth sign oh, I didn't know. Yeah, it's okay, I'm so big, everybody's having a Christmas your week Des. It was cool.
Speaker 4:It was cool how was your Christmas?
Speaker 2:y'all know my stepson daddy don't buy me shit, so it was cool.
Speaker 3:So you got demoted again.
Speaker 2:When did we, to further fucking note it, how was Hayden's Christmas? Hayden had a great time. He will always have a great time. That's one thing we can always agree on. Making sure he go All right, mcfly, are we?
Speaker 3:I still have a house, so that's all I care about.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 4:I said we can buy Christmas or we can pay the mortgage what y'all want to do what y'all trying to do?
Speaker 2:Shit, checkmate, shit.
Speaker 3:With that being said, we'll get into the shenanigans. Shenanigan these are all curated by what's going on around us or with us. So why is having a small inner circle beneficial?
Speaker 2:Because these hoes ain't shit.
Speaker 4:No, Because Kendrick told me you all better have one woman. Because of what? Because Kendrick said it, you better all have one woman. Shit weird right now.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think when you have a smaller circle you can build better bonds and allow them to have a better understanding of you as well, because you're not trying to build these superficial bonds with like 50 damn people. When you have one or two friends, you really get to know them, you get to know what their needs are. So I think the smaller circle works out because of that.
Speaker 4:I think the smaller circle is just something you realize as you get older, that you don't really need that many people. Amen, you know, if you got, you can have a gathering with a good, a good. You know five to six friends and have a time in your life you don't need to be around, Especially once you get older and it's and the kids are there and everybody's there and it's a good time. Everybody's meshing and you're singing NSYNC songs. Yeah, yeah, that Backstreet Boys, yeah.
Speaker 3:Twerking on your wife.
Speaker 4:It's a good time. Plus, like Devin was saying, it's a loyalty thing. Getting too uncomfortably close to people in their face because you're a little tipsy, that's fine, and also, when the circle is small, you know exactly who leaked the information.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's true, that is very true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you, in your case, is quickly to tell who do nigga shit. Yeah, it's spades.
Speaker 1:Hey, you can pinpoint out the back. This one right here don't do nigga shit. Kevin, I don't know, I'm not a small circle kind of guy. I guess you cast a wide neck. I think I do. I think I do.
Speaker 4:You do and the relationships are real.
Speaker 1:They're not bullshit, but I think that just comes from me because I don't think everybody can do that.
Speaker 4:Find a hard time balancing all that.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I don't, I don't I don't sweat it, like because there's people that just don't fucking talk to them. It's cool, like because every once in a while it's like hey, just think about your dog, how you been, how's the family, how the kids is. This didn't learn. If I fly out somewhere, like if I were to just drive across the country, I could stay at probably a lot of houses throughout the country without having to worry about anything. I ain't got it like that.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 3:I'll be like, hey cousin, who the fuck are you?
Speaker 4:Well, the Motel 6 is down the street.
Speaker 1:Put them in the Motel 6.
Speaker 2:I'm not going there.
Speaker 3:I lived in the Motel 6 for two years.
Speaker 2:I'm glad that you don't anymore. I'm not going there. I lived in LA until six, for two years. I'm glad that you don't anymore. I'm very happy for you.
Speaker 3:At least I didn't ever have to make my own bed.
Speaker 2:Oh man, the brighter side of the picture, that's optimism for you, fresh sheets every day.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:What Big fly.
Speaker 3:They were different. Yeah, they were different, yeah.
Speaker 4:They were different. Yeah, they weren't fresh.
Speaker 3:And then I remember my ninth grade year, her cheeks getting clapped next door.
Speaker 1:So that was kind of dope. I was like that's what it'd be, like You're not going to North Ham next. Nah, that seems like a that's pretty pervert.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean they that seems like a. That's pretty pervert. I can hear him. You should make him a baby pervert hello.
Speaker 3:For me the benefit is knowing that quickly who rocks with you and who doesn't. And when that circle's small, you kind of get an idea quickly of like, alright, as I proceed to try to achieve what I'm trying to achieve in my life, it's easier to to understand when you're in a circle small, like like mo pointed out, you get to see where the leaks are and you also get to see and understand and like when you have to divide that pie, who you know rock with you from beginning. It's easier to identify that when it's smaller.
Speaker 3:So you're like you know what when I get to success, at least I know these people around me sometimes yeah, look a little dirk says that's his homie, but that nigga straight into wasn't me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean I, yeah I understand that it's's just even with a in a large group and as you excel. Does that change though? Do you? Because you're going to gain people over the years, of Different markets and stuff, different levels of what you're trying to attain, and some of those people you might gain genuine friendship out of.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that's going to widen your circle.
Speaker 3:I think for me I would be like it'd be like levels of friendship, like cause it kind of like these are the people you know your day ones, and then you kind of go from there, go like that, and sometimes niggas can move from this part of the spiral and be like hey, hey, you fell off what happened all the way. So, um, and some people surprise you how do you manage relationships with people outside of your inner circle? I don't manage yeah, I don't, I don't, that's not to manage.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna put no injury in that your acquaintances yeah, I was like that injury. I was like those niggas is lying like you just go to work and be like. I mean, I mean that's, that's just being.
Speaker 2:I work from home, so that's just being so yes.
Speaker 4:I said that that's just being like cordial.
Speaker 1:I mean I'm polite, I'll say hello, how you doing that's maintaining, yeah, that's a maintaining cause like you, that's it.
Speaker 3:If you know for a fact, for instance, like Josh Davis, you're cool with him, you're not gonna try to burn the bridge. You might not be friends, but you might you know make sure to stay cordial so you don't say you need this and you're like Nick, stay, we should roll to his house.
Speaker 1:My foot, look on the street no, that nope food is one of these hands that's why that don't sound good, right, yeah?
Speaker 4:I won't be going that sounds incriminating damn, that's just family, that's family, that's family family. I guess we just I family family. I guess we just I mean you. I guess you just address, I guess what I'm saying. I guess I just address everyone accordingly. You know, I'm not gonna I'll say hello, goodbye to pretty much anyone, unless you. It's someone I don't fuck with, and if I don't fuck with you, you know I don't fuck with you, josh so Josh the other, josh, not the.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so, like you'll know You'll know because McFly can attest to this I can literally be talking to him be bright, upbeat, smiling, and look at you dead-faced, stone-faced, and say fuck you.
Speaker 3:Why are you talking to me? Fuck Devin.
Speaker 4:Like why are you interacting with me? You know what it is, so I address everyone accordingly.
Speaker 1:I don't know his last name. So that's how you maintain your acquaintances.
Speaker 3:Accordingly, devin, he's a super.
Speaker 1:I'm managing his business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like these people at the job, I'll tell you what is the next question.
Speaker 1:I feel like the way I manage is.
Speaker 4:I don't think manage might not be the right word.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I Well I mean it can be, because I feel like I try to treat everybody in the same vein. That's up to them, I agree. I give everybody the same chance. To continue that, but once you fuck it up, it's fuck everybody, so like people that that outside of the inner circle, I mean everyday life. Hey, what's up how you doing?
Speaker 4:I'm trying to treat him with respect. That's it. I'm not walking into Target.
Speaker 3:I'm like man, fuck you like for well, for example, like there's like a, a community of black people at my gym that we all try to stay cordial and then polite, and every time we see each other we try to stay on that. Like you don't want to be like I'll see this nigga and you be like, oh, okay, it's like that nigga, like you want to always keep that, because when you see each other, it's like okay, and it's like I don't even know these niggas names, but there's always a group of us.
Speaker 3:I see you in here. You're getting it today.
Speaker 1:I see you Niggas do that all the time. Yeah, I'm like that with all black people.
Speaker 2:Hey how you doing.
Speaker 1:Hey, sometimes I be like don't man nigga, don't we ain't got to stop Look at it, man, that's the universal black.
Speaker 4:Hey, man, you should go down, yeah, that shit ain't true.
Speaker 1:There's some b shit. Go down that bus there. This nigga ain't helping us yeah, that's true, that's the other niggas as soon as you be like we, just in the fight alone.
Speaker 3:Yeah oh, look to the side and look at the.
Speaker 4:I mean it's just, it's. It's two black dads at fiend school. I talk to him every day I couldn't tell you their name.
Speaker 3:Same, they see me with. All right, brother, how you doing today, you like you chop it up.
Speaker 1:Well, the worst part is when they start knowing your name. Yeah, hey, what's up? You're like shh.
Speaker 3:No, they know, because the UPS dad is just saying hey, now, yeah, how you doing hey now how you doing. They think I don't work.
Speaker 4:I usually pop up on my grounds he pick his daughter up every day in sweats and basketball shorts and a t-shirt, does he go to work? I?
Speaker 3:don't think that. I think they think you're probably like. You make some sort of money at home shit or you work late in the evening.
Speaker 2:You don't know what I do. You ain't spending any of that business.
Speaker 3:I see a lot of those dads though, them tech dads that work from home and fucking drive a Tesla. They have all these toys.
Speaker 1:They're picking their kids up in random shit.
Speaker 2:You can tell which dads don't work. They're scooters.
Speaker 4:Man, I saw this high school kid pass us on one of them electric bikes. He must have been going 30. Yeah, cooking. And I said no helmet bites, he must have been going 30.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cooking no helmet.
Speaker 3:I always say this, but what I find up about my neighborhood is most of the people with toys are black in my neighborhood and it makes me feel good every day Because you'll see them like they be in one of those. Yeah you're like looking at them and they just go down the street. You're looking at them like okay, I see you man.
Speaker 4:I went to go buy ATV and I said how much? I said okay, that's not too bad. They was like well, you got to get insurance on it.
Speaker 1:I said like car insurance.
Speaker 4:They was like yeah, I said you can keep it, anything you can, yeah, and then you had to register it. I said I'm not taking this to work.
Speaker 1:This is for Nah, you keep it. I just think you'd be a vigilante.
Speaker 3:Put the bat signal on it. Y'all go ahead and keep that I'm good, stopping crime in the neighborhood.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, mo will be up there like give me that candy.
Speaker 3:I just like to try to just keep a positive rapport with people that, even if I just see them passing, to keep that up, because you never know.
Speaker 4:Never know.
Speaker 3:So what challenges have you faced? Maintaining your small circle?
Speaker 2:I think I have picked a few of the wrong people to be in my small circle and that has been like my biggest challenge. Like I literally, like I said on previous podcasts, I had the same friend for 28 years and Hefa did not like me the whole time but I kept being loyal to her. Meanwhile they were there, were really intelligent, really fun other black women that wanted to be friends with me, but I stayed friends with the one that wasn't even really loyal and I didn't really give the time to cultivate the relationships with the ones that were like probably would have been real dope women for me to be cool with. Why do you think that is? Um, you know what?
Speaker 2:I think me and that particular friend had a codependency on each other, whereas we had gone through so much. I mean because you remember, we have been friends since fifth grade, so we had gone through so much together and seen so much together. It was like, I think to a degree we felt bad not being together. But how we vibe in general is completely different. What she's into and what I'm into is no shade to her. I'm not saying what she's into wrong or anything like that, but how she move and how I move is totally different.
Speaker 1:It was never really a good fit from the beginning, but because we had gone through so much together, it was that level of like codependency there trauma bond it was definitely a trauma bond did you say how to the obstacles in the small circle or the the outside circle, the small circle in the small circle or the outside circle.
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 1:challenges do you face? Maintaining a small circle In the small circle?
Speaker 4:I would say it's just sometimes you got to just. I understand that sometimes, even though we may have a lot of things in common, we're not going to agree on everything. So you got to let the conflict play out in a respectable way. There's a way to disagree respectfully and not get out of pocket. And I'm not one to believe to push my beliefs off on someone, but I'm also not someone where I'm going to just allow you to push your beliefs off on me. I can respect that you feel a certain type of way or you believe in a certain thing and that that just don't resonate with me. And I understand that we're not going to see eye to eye on certain things. We're not going to see eye to eye on probably many things. You know whether it's how you move in certain situations, politics, relationships, whatever the case may be, but I'm not going to judge you for that.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to judge you for that.
Speaker 4:I'm just going to tell you that's not what I would do and if you ask me, I'm going to give you my honest opinion, bluntly, what I would do, as me, in that situation. I'm not going to tell you what you should do, I'm just going to tell you how I would move and hopefully you would know me well enough to know what type of person I am.
Speaker 1:I think changes in one like behavior is a big one. Like say you have friends, one of them ends up divorced. Close group used to doing certain things. Now this nigga just won't go out and fuck the world where you're like.
Speaker 1:Hey, that's you, nigga, but like I can't like you know what I'm saying like so we got to navigate our friendship differently in that regard, where I'm like, no, I'm not going to the club with you, I know what you're trying to do, like get the fuck out of here. So I think, like life changes and like unexpected changes like that, like when people go through things in life, how you respond like how depending on how your life is, and all that stuff.
Speaker 4:So just I don't know, I think the regular life surprises and sometimes unforeseen surprises, and how you deal with that as your friendship changes, because that's going to change the dynamics, so that that's real shit too, because I've experienced that where there was a couple that you know we had been friends with for a long time, and then now they split up and it's like why? That's real shit too, kev, because I've experienced that where there was a couple that you know we had been friends with for a long time and then now they split up and it's like why do we have to choose sides?
Speaker 4:Like we cool with both of y'all Like we just won't have y'all at the same event, Like we get it Like y'all.
Speaker 1:I've had that and then you're like, oh, I got way tricky, my man guess I handled it wrong what can you do?
Speaker 4:you get mad niggas, say hi. I mean yeah, fuck it. I mean, if y'all once y'all separate ways, we can invite both of y'all over, but you're not gonna be over at my house, acting like a damn fool oh yeah, but some people it's like those ones the emotions get weird.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you're like okay, we got some to deal with, but that's where honesty and open conversation comes in.
Speaker 3:But I don't know. Uh, I've always usually kept a small circle so that the main saying of it was basically open, uh, honesty with a lot of things. If you, if you literally saying what you're going through in that time and I let the other side know, it tends to help with uh, understanding uh, where you're coming from, where the other side is coming from. So you keep uh, I guess, that open line of communication with each other to keep things on the up and up and not where you allow things to be doubt, doubted, yeah, cause if you're not, if you're not opening up about what you're going through or how you feel, then how can the other side know? So when you kind of keep that open dialogue, like, hey man, this shit's going on in my life, so if I seem like I'm out of it, it's cause this shit's going on. You know what I'm saying, oh, yeah.
Speaker 4:I would also hope people are mature enough to know that everything ain't about you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Sometimes I'm being distant or I'm being withdrawn because of me, right, and it ain't got nothing to do with you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I lost it.
Speaker 1:Look it, I was going gonna say something like I had nothing oh, my background's moving.
Speaker 3:That's trippy um. So how do you ensure mutual growth within your inner circle?
Speaker 4:you gotta challenge everybody to be better and you got to call it. You got to. If you, if you're real friends and you guys are really close, you should, you should be able to call your friends out on their bullshit.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 4:Like, you know you fucking up, you know, you know you was wrong doing this and you got to be able. But you got to be able to, in return, accept criticism as well as you dish it out.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And, like you said before, understand everybody's growth ain't at the same pace.
Speaker 4:Yeah, ain't the same pace that's important Because it doesn't matter. Maturity is really not an age thing.
Speaker 4:You can have somebody in their early 20s that has matured to a level to where they understand life and they can deal with people in situations a lot better.
Speaker 4:And on the flip side, you can have somebody later in life that still won't run around like they did in high school, acting like a kid Absolutely, and they take everything personal.
Speaker 4:They can't see the world outside of themselves and they and actually those type of people while they can bring good things to the friend group, they can also be detrimental to the friend group, because now everyone has to walk around on eggshells around this person, because if you say something and they can't either understand how it was said, they can't interpret it correctly. Now they're going to feel some type of way, so then they call it. Now there's always some type of drama or some bullshit going on, because they're not mature enough to understand what's going on, what's being said and how things are said. They're not mature enough to understand the context in which things are said and done, but sure enough to understand the context in which things are said and done, and they can't look outside themselves to see the bigger picture, but they can only see things and see events as it relates to them and how they felt in the moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think getting to know each other, or each person individually too, don the group? Yeah, the group's the group, but when you have your friends in your circle, you know how to you guys kind of know each other. You know what I mean?
Speaker 4:therapy, why is that?
Speaker 3:huh, because he was talking about groups and not individually and all that and I thought so.
Speaker 2:No orgies next question wait wait, wait oh my god, no nigga, who you gonna have an orange, all your friends is male clearly I'm not just saying I just saw a circle like this is just a general reaction there's no pineapple in my house, so we ain't fucking, the group ain't fucking. Is that, ava oh?
Speaker 4:It's 12.
Speaker 2:It's.
Speaker 1:Ava. Yep, yeah, it's after 12. Yeah, we almost done.
Speaker 3:Anyway.
Speaker 1:Put it on the show.
Speaker 2:That is such a good picture of your son.
Speaker 1:What it do though.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, he is so cute. Answer the phone. Answer the phone.
Speaker 3:What is it, Ava? Can I have a can? Yes, you can have a can Dang. I'm almost done, okay.
Speaker 1:You want to Hi you on the show show hi, you're so pretty.
Speaker 4:Thank you, you're welcome, hi, ava I'll be done soon okay, getting that can all right yeah, she gonna get that can and she wasn't gonna stop calling till you answered him what'd to get that can and she wasn't going to stop calling until you answered.
Speaker 2:What'd she get? A can of.
Speaker 3:I have sodas. She said like oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Are they yours? And her mama couldn't give her no can.
Speaker 3:They're particular, like they're, I understand.
Speaker 4:So you buy yours for you and then you have the yeah, but then the kids always want your shit yeah and not the shit you bought them. Yeah, phoenix, naturally.
Speaker 2:You're going to leave Phoenix alone.
Speaker 1:Naturally, that's how it works.
Speaker 2:That's how kids is I like her.
Speaker 4:She funny, goddamn kids.
Speaker 1:Kids want everything Graceland is on man she be asking for some of them. Get it.
Speaker 3:No, I don't want.
Speaker 4:I'm going to say this shit, so I forgot what the fuck it was. But Phoenix, phoenix, phoenix asked for something and I know damn well she didn't want it. She just wanted to eat something because everybody else was eating. I said Phoenix, you're not hungry. And she went over there. She took two. What the fuck was that? She went over there. She took two. What the fuck was that? She went over there. She took two bites and said I'm done. I said no, you're not. I said you're gonna. I said I'm finna, treat you how they treat me. You're gonna sit your ass right there and you ain't gonna get up to eat all that food. And she sat there. She cried, complained my stomach, my stomach hurt. I said okay, well, you can learn the lesson. And she whole plate. She didn't ask for anything else, poor baby Took a while too, bradley it did.
Speaker 4:She was crying to her mama. I said your mama can't save you today. I said you and your mama be eating this shit together. Oh hell, play with me, so I will bury my ass in this motherfucker.
Speaker 2:You gonna do my friend like that neutral growth within your inner circle.
Speaker 4:Mutual growth. My bad, you got to challenge me, man. You got to challenge each other.
Speaker 3:Challenge and push for each other's goals. So like if, for instance, with like the comedy thing, maybe give insight and passing Like hey, I saw this shit that I think you'd be dope at. You should try it. Stuff like that helps.
Speaker 4:Not not only that.
Speaker 3:Showing up for each other, yeah it's all gotta show up because I feel like even those those subtle things will, when somebody says it in passing, it actually can do more help that you even realize you might just be saying it in the past. And then that person like that shit, like you noticed that, like you really thought enough to tell me something like that, like that means a lot.
Speaker 3:So so did everyone answer that see mom, alright, um, for the next few questions, we're gonna switch it up. Uh, since we're getting ready for the next few questions, we're going to switch it up Since we're getting ready for the new year, right, 2025. What were your biggest wins and challenges in your 2024?
Speaker 4:as we wrap this shit up, my biggest one was me conquering a part of myself, me tapping into another level of mentality that I didn't, that I didn't realize I had, and the the personal growth and maturity that I had emotionally.
Speaker 3:Guess what's up.
Speaker 1:We're just doing wins.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Wins and challenges.
Speaker 4:And challenges.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to say that shit, I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 4:I had a pretty good win.
Speaker 1:I don't want to. It's like you said. Sometimes there's things you talk about where you like some niggas don't need to know.
Speaker 3:So we had a good win. Uh, that will help the family for years and years and years to come. Go ahead, dot me then. So did you, uh, also have to sit on peas for a while?
Speaker 1:not yet. That was the blood pressure fucked that up, but I'm not mad about that because that forced me to take care of yourself.
Speaker 4:So it's like hold on. So it sounds like Kevin got a max one.
Speaker 1:He got yeah, there's another one coming though. So I'm like I got to shut up though. Niggas going to start, hey, man, no, but uh, challenges, no Challenges. I think every there's just I don't know Challenges, shit. Let's just balance them. I really want to find a way to be on stage more, but it's just nigga like if you saw when I wake up nigga was that your challenge in 2024?
Speaker 3:not being on stage?
Speaker 1:enough I wasn't on stage. Enough I wasn't I mean your work started.
Speaker 4:I'd mostly do that yeah, I'm saying about the health was that a challenge?
Speaker 3:I mean, I didn't know, it was all fucked up until I wouldn't actually I'm saying, like as far as knowing that you had to get healthy, like was that a challenge, waking up and and I mean yeah, I mean it's, but it's more.
Speaker 1:It's like we've been stating it's the easy motivation where you're like I don't feel like dying.
Speaker 3:So you can tell them literally dude like you could fart the wrong way and die tomorrow. The way you're going, it's like. Oh, I'm still gonna keep eating when the fuck I'm eating, you're like, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:At least walk If you're going to do that. But I think that's still a challenge, just balancing all that time trying to figure that out and how to maximize my time to where it's it's that's it using your time properly.
Speaker 3:Yes, because it's. It's so easy and it's so hard at the same time to just try to find the balance. Yeah, doing that, that, that, that, that that. Like you got fucking worry about your bills and paying them. You got to worry about making the money. You got to worry about, um, spending time with your family. You got to worry about making time for, for the working out and eating right and active and meal planning and prepping. Like that's all Fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I'm tired thinking about it Meal prepping is a motherfucker. Hold on Time, mm Time.
Speaker 4:That's my biggest obstacle. I guess that sounds nuts we got the same 24.
Speaker 2:Mm, your answer. My biggest challenge this year has been accepting that the faith of me and my stepson Daddy like what direction we're going.
Speaker 4:And I joke about it a lot the faith.
Speaker 2:The faith, oh, the faith, the faith.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:What's going to be happening. I joke about it a lot but it is still sad. And then I guess my biggest win would be finding that self love to be able to get through that okay, that's what's up.
Speaker 1:I like that, thank you my biggest win.
Speaker 3:That still might be the same shit. That was a win for me. That victory, that DLT shit you know for a fact, like that shit. But, um, the biggest challenge is just getting back on track, because it's so easy to to lose um focus when you get discouraged and you get setbacks and uh, unforeseen, uh, shit obstacles that you come across, and that that makes you a lot of times be like, well, what's the fucking point? And then you have to tell yourself this is the point, even though you might feel like shit in this moment and it might feel like nothing around you is going to get better, but you still have to believe that there's got to be something better than this shit.
Speaker 3:So, just getting through that has been the biggest challenge. And seeing, at the end of the, at the end of the year, I was just like relieved, like you know what, this is a win I can take in the 2025. And I sat in that fucking doctor's office or that clinic or whatever and just was sitting there talking to my dad and just saying dad, like you've seen what I've been doing yeah, you know that I'm not like bullshitting about this, oh yeah. So just saying, taking that victory into 2025 and I take the momentum. That's the only reason why I agree to that fucking show. No, running the time, the fucking time.
Speaker 1:If my 2024 backwards, or what the fuck I said, man, I lied like a motherfucker. This year, we were supposed to sit down as a family. You didn't do it. What's up?
Speaker 2:What's wrong. You have to do this show and it's so much more than timing People can't hear you if you're not speaking. I speak on here sometimes no, you know what the fuck I mean.
Speaker 4:I know what the fuck you're saying you need to be more vocal.
Speaker 2:You need to be more outside. You need to be more outside. You need to be more in places where you can be seen covid outside fuck covid, put a fucking mask on. You'd be the coldest rapper ever. Live you.
Speaker 3:Wrap the fucking tight ass bars through a mask yeah, I'll be the rapper that passes out all the time too, from lack of I can't breathe and shit, I'm gonna hear you, I'm gonna hear you that nigga passes out at every show. We got to go see him.
Speaker 2:No, but you do. You really do need to be more active in that area. It's because it's very sad to see that you have such a talent and you refuse to put it out there.
Speaker 1:It's not bad. He puts it out there, it's just the.
Speaker 2:You said say it's the time, shit you can't be out there every goddamn day.
Speaker 1:You just got to figure out the balance he can be out there some days, some days Will be. We be having to.
Speaker 2:It's like pulling teeth, getting your ass out there.
Speaker 3:No, it's not. It's not that bad.
Speaker 2:How many?
Speaker 4:Hold on. You said it's not that bad, and all I heard in my-. What's her name today? Light pole hold on.
Speaker 2:You said it's not that bad, and all I heard was her name today light pole. Ain't nobody talking to you?
Speaker 4:you said it's not that bad, and all I heard in my head was my wife's voice.
Speaker 2:You don't experience you the way other people experience hey, she hit the head on the nail with that shit and you're gonna leave her alone. She hits the head on the nail with a lot of shit.
Speaker 4:She say on y'all just just just because you can relate and I'll be like girl snap sister, because yes next question I just know I put out a lot of music in 2024.
Speaker 2:You did put a lot of music out. Okay, I will give you that now. I guess I just want to see you on stage. Yes, and that's from you. That's different and he's got a to be, honest, that show is coming January.
Speaker 4:I heard it it starts January like think
Speaker 1:about that. When was the first show he did last year?
Speaker 2:hell, I don't know. The end of the year, the one we did so starting January boom you keep going let me tell this man that I want to see him on stage without you helping him.
Speaker 1:Tell me something else, oh no, but I'm telling you he's like you got to.
Speaker 2:Bottom line. I really would like to have more of your shows.
Speaker 1:I can't wait until she starts writing jokes and being like shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to see you on stage, okay.
Speaker 3:I'm excited to just I said just be positive about everything moving forward, because I said that momentum is important to me. I said personal caught me at the right fucking time.
Speaker 2:Shout out to personal. I like personal.
Speaker 3:I was sitting up there, I took a deep breath, I was chilling and I said, boom, boom. I looked at my phone hey bro, january 10th, what you doing? I said.
Speaker 2:God damn it. I like him. He the perfect balance between white people and nigga shit.
Speaker 3:Does he play spades? He do niggas. I don't know if he play.
Speaker 2:I ain't ask that nigga shit. He don't we ask him.
Speaker 4:He don't, did you ask him. He asked me to teach him. I don't play, you gotta sit there and I am that nigga and I don't play spades, you have to watch the table to learn.
Speaker 3:So the last question, and we're gonna get the hell out of here, right, what lessons can you apply in 2025?
Speaker 4:I mean, I got a lot of this I can apply.
Speaker 2:Oh, I think I would go, would take a lot more accountability. I think that that's. That's one thing that I shut up. Only because I say that, because everything that I've encountered has been a decision of a backlash of something I decided. I decided who to marry, I decided. You know my every single step of my life I've been participating part it's funny.
Speaker 4:You said that because I've said that on other podcasts. I said I understand as a man that everything that happened is all because of my decision, Absolutely. So I can't sit here and blame anybody else for what happens because, at the end of the day, even with what happened to me, I chose to take that freeway. I chose to be at that time, I chose to be in that lane. It's my decision. Now, granted, I didn't choose the other person's actions, but it was my decision. I chose to go and defeat her.
Speaker 4:So it was like ultimately, when you get to the core of everything is that you have to understand that you have to be accountable for the decisions you made, because your decisions led you to where you are now, whether you were guided or push a certain direction. That may pay, that may play a little effect, but ultimately, at the end of the day, you made the last final decision of what you chose and whatever the scenario is or whatever like that, that's something people need to understand. So you can't sit here and blame other people for the outcomes in your life when you're the one making the decisions. So you have to understand. You have to look at yourself and say how am I being influenced to make bad decisions?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what part did I play in this? That's been a big challenge for me, because I normally would tell you that nigga did to make bad decisions. Yeah, what part did I play in this? That has that's been a big challenge for me, because I normally tell you that nigga did it and I didn't do nothing. But that's not the truth. I definitely it was a participant in the outcome of where we are. So taking accountability and really just learning from my damn self where I make mistakes at so I can be better, a better me.
Speaker 4:You said what? What talents were you going to change? Was the question.
Speaker 3:I said what, oh shit. What lessons can you apply to 2025?
Speaker 4:I don't know if it's a lesson, but what I'm trying to apply is I'm trying to. I'm trying to interact with my daughter differently, right, because she's in that. She's in that that stage where she's coming out of her little kid going towards her preteen years, where now she's like she's not my baby, no more, you know. I mean she's not into the thing she was into before, now she's. Now she's Miss girly girly. Now she's into things. Mommy, does you know what I mean? She's not into the things she was into before, now she's. Now she's Miss girly girly. Now she's into things. Mommy, does you know what I'm saying? So now she's like she wants the makeup, she wants the, the nails done, she wants to do stuff like that.
Speaker 4:So now I have to learn to. I can't come in andhousing and the playing. Now I have to be softer with her. Now she's more in tune with the tone and the inflictions in my voice. So now I have to talk to her softer and it's like I have to do these things because I want to show her that how she's supposed to be talked to when she gets out. Right, so this is what I'm learning. So when what I've seen in the last couple of weeks of me trying to communicate with her differently, I've seen I've actually seen us get a little bit closer together. Closer, I mean closer, closer together, like how she's starting to go on walks with me and stuff. So what I'm trying to do in 2025 is is is further that try to get to a point to where I can not only tell her what to expect, but be the example of what she can expect, so when she goes out there, she has all the proper tools and measurements to know what type of partner to pursue.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, yes, kevin, flip that shit up and put that on the clip.
Speaker 1:Yes, I don't really have nothing. Mine is, my lesson is Shut the fuck up, I'm just.
Speaker 2:I'm ready to see he ain't gonna say nothing, because he know he right.
Speaker 4:She just wanna fuck.
Speaker 2:Ain't nobody See. You know what?
Speaker 3:I was waiting for it. I was waiting for it. That's why I was I was. I was waiting for it. Nah, that's true, I'm going into silence mode.
Speaker 1:Shut up, let the results of the work be the so you just. This is work time. Hard work, this is work time. Shut the fuck up. I got nothing else to say. Like it's like one of those things like you can say a whole bunch, it don't matter so I gotta let the results be the results.
Speaker 4:So you wanna go swim by a gym with me?
Speaker 1:To the gym yeah, got a whole VR set and a gym at work.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's a gym at the job, yeah.
Speaker 4:You got a whole gym at the job.
Speaker 2:That explains how some of your coworkers look at me.
Speaker 4:I told Andy. I said we had to have the job. I said motherfuckers would be at work every day.
Speaker 3:I agree They'd be. They're just working out. That is funny Some of your co-workers look fit. Some of your co-workers.
Speaker 2:How many of them are co-workers?
Speaker 3:Your answer, mcfly Lessons I can apply in 2025 is just standing on business and just not with the shits, like I've been playing the whole kind of the passive in the back role. The 2025 is just I'm not for the shit anymore. I'm just going to push for what I'm trying to achieve and anything that gets in the way is, uh, will be discarded.
Speaker 4:Can I? Can I ask you guys a question, Since, since this is the last episode of 2024, I want to ask you guys, um, we normally do what your goals are right, so I want to know what are you guys' goals, um, for the podcast in 2025 are, and I want to know what do you want to see out of other podcast members in 2025?
Speaker 3:I'll answer this first because it's in my mind pod is, I feel like individually, if I get to a certain place and it creates a creative spot, that it will amplify us as a whole, just because it'll be, I guess, like a net being cast out to kind of shine back. So what I see it happening is, just once that the world gets to know me individually, personality and our individual personalities more, that they'll be like this undeniable success, because I feel like once people know the personality excuse me to to a whole, that will be fucking a,000 times more successful, just because they'll be like you know what they're gravitating to, who we are, not just the name of the podcast, but who we are as a podcast. So, yeah, and what I see individually for everyone is there's your ability to be you and the more that you find yourself, I feel like is it's just continued, and the more you show it, the more it's just going to grow.
Speaker 3:So, I don't. I feel like you're on the already on that path and trajectory is just in time. It'll eventually it'd be undeniable light Mo. The creativity side is already there and it's like I feel like the more you dabble into it, the more it just, like I said, it's going to evolve.
Speaker 3:I do see you're challenging yourself in front of the camera. It's gotten better. Challenging yourself in front of the camera is gotten better and like you kind of don't allow yourself to be like, well, I'm going to just be comfortable with not being in front of the camera, now I'm going to force myself to be in front of the camera and I see it and applaud it and I feel like the more you do it, the more comfortable you get with it and eventually you're going to completely forget about the, the thought process of what's hindering you from not wanting to do it. But it'll just become something that's second nature. Kevin, you create all the time and you're just a creative, and the more you create, the only thing I ask is don't doubt what you're creating, just believe in the process and that what you're creating is going to fucking flourish.
Speaker 1:And uh, that's what I have to say okay, um, podcasts, I want to see what I kind of want to see. I'm curious, I don't know, cause I know we hit a certain benchmark in our sub segment area and I fully intend to watch that grow, hopefully double by the before the halfway mark, but I don't know. You know, um, we do still kind of. We kind of talked about how to expand on what we did with this. This is a good little start to do something, but, like we can still expand on that, making it more clean not a good word. Uh, yeah, I think we're just gonna mesh and be fine, like people already calling to be on and everything. So that's just gonna be people already calling and be on and everything. So that's just going to be autopilot in that regard.
Speaker 3:So we have some, some guests coming that are dope.
Speaker 1:Uh, individually. Uh well, I see, like he said, you're, you're telling jokes and shit.
Speaker 3:now on, Dad jokes I told him two dad jokes.
Speaker 4:They were hilarious.
Speaker 1:To my ass, but that's something that's cool to see. So I think you being able to take that, what you know behind the scenes and then applying it to yourself, that's going to be a fun thing to watch, because it's going to be probably more than you're expecting. Like, I don't know what you're expecting, but I think your personality is going to, yeah, it'll flourish and it flourishes here. But I'm saying, like, just what's your production on your own shit? You might be like, oh, shit, that was kind of hot.
Speaker 1:I'm going to come to you. Last, des, I see a big push out of you. Like you got a lot of passion, and the passion that you have in the compassion you have towards like people, women and just women that have gone through struggles, is going to break through some things that we could have never fucking imagined from us. So it's going to push us into a whole nother demographic. So we probably stop trying to break all the balconies. But, yeah, like I I do see, with what you're doing, like to grow yourself personally and even for like work and all of that, that's just all going to be a combination of just a brand of you and a brand is going to be off of love. So that can only go as like far, like heart takes you far.
Speaker 1:Uh, mr stutter, from the way, uh, what I know about you and the fact that you took that on just in january is, uh, january is a sign for what I see to come, like it's not going to be, it's like fuck it, let's go. Like I see that coming. So, yeah, we got a lot of outside from y'all coming, because you have a cast, a big net already, like you said, but when you're out there, it's more visible. So we know your talent, these people know your talent. So now we're going to take that talent to where it's like, okay, we'll conquer this market and then move out. So it's going to be a fun year. The Kobe year, I think, was more of a prepping. Us, like the mama mentality type shit we took on kind of was more like let's get down and get to a formulator plan and now we're into what we got. Now it's let's execute.
Speaker 2:So yes, um, I think, for as as far as the podcast, I want to see us out in the community more because I I think we need to. We need to literally be like shaking hands and talking to people and getting to know people on a personal level. Although I know we're internet based, I just think there's something with that personal connection with people, but I do see us thriving this year. I think this is going to be a magnificent year for us, both as a group and as individuals. As far as what I want to see from everybody, Kevin, I just more jokes. God, you're so funny and I didn't even like like I knew you was funny, but then to see you up there in your element, I was so incredibly inspired by you. So I just cannot wait to continue to feed off that inspiration that you give.
Speaker 2:Mo, I told you the other day after seeing what you do just that little bitty piece in the scene. I would love to learn from you this coming year. Maybe we can connect and you can teach me some of the things you do behind the scene, because you really put in so much of your personal time when you already have to do that with another platform. So I respect what you do, so I would love to just like learn from you and McFly, you know, I'm just trying to see you be the. I'm trying to see everybody see what we see in you and you just be named the dopest rapper in ie because we know you are. So I'm just so excited to see you. I'm excited for your show that's coming and I'm excited just to see you continue to thrive in what you are already amazing at see, the thing I think about andy is like I don't think he doesn't think he is.
Speaker 2:I know, he know. I know, he know, I know it's just now it's time to show him proof, but I just want the entire everybody to know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like January.
Speaker 2:Because we, yes, like January.
Speaker 1:That's how you do it.
Speaker 2:Because we give love and props to so many artists that you are just as good as, if not better, straight like that.
Speaker 3:Better than most.
Speaker 2:Better than most of you. Straight like that.
Speaker 3:I mean straight like that.
Speaker 2:Talk your shit. Yeah, talk your shit. I'm just saying straight like that no, I'm tough, no, I'm just talking Put your, I will unplug my mic and take my ass off you. I'm sick of y'all. I will unplug my mic and take my ass off.
Speaker 4:For me, my answer is for the pod. I just want to see growth. Man, I think we're going to. I think we're turning in the right direction. I just want to think we just need to continue to double down on the hard work and, like my father always says, do the research and just get better. It's not, it's not about taking quantum leaps, it's about being a little bit better each episode, each week, each month. Being a little bit better, and that, for me, that's across the board and whatever role each of us play on that Individually.
Speaker 4:For Kevin, I, just I. For Kevin, I want you to show the confidence that you display more, because when you make your videos and you, when you sit there, you do your time and you really put pen to pad. You are one of the funniest people I know, and not only funny. It's, I think, what people a lot of times don't you know, they don't know because they don't know you or they don't get to experience that side of you Is that a lot of your comedy is so funny because how genuine you are. It's like you're not out here pretending to be what you show. You're actually who like somewhere. What you show you're, you're actually who like, like somewhere inside you fictitious, yeah yeah hell yeah, and the
Speaker 2:double down that there's no.
Speaker 3:Uh, you're not. You're not trying to be funny. You're funny, it's natural. Other people have to try to be funny you don't try to be funny, you are funny that's right, and I I I think for me, kevin, with you, I think you, you, you struggle with a little bit.
Speaker 4:What I struggle with, and the same thing mcfly struggles with, is that you don't want to maybe put more into your personal um, uh, what you're pursuing personally, because you don't want to take away from the family unit. And I think, and, and, and I think you got to have the mindset of anything that benefits you, benefits the family, and you will know when the obsession becomes counterproductive, because your kids will let you know.
Speaker 4:If you pay attention to the actions of the kid. But I feel like if you really would just display the confidence that I know you have, like I'm not saying that you're not confident, I'm saying that like, if you per se, like because, like just in the conversation we have off camera, the conversation we have when we're just hanging out, like a lot of that, a lot of that's like and he said, personal just being, you know, you know one of your best friends, I'd. I would like to see you be more selfish and I know that's kind of weird to say, but I think that sometimes you got to understand it's okay to put the, put the burden on the bed and carry you and do what's best for you so that when you walk back to the burden you're stronger to carry it a little longer than you were before. I understand that. You know the way that life gets you down and you struggle with.
Speaker 4:You know a multitude of things and you're just trying to, you know, but you can only try to be the best version of yourself for other people for so long before you start to lose who you are to yourself. So I felt like I would like to see you be selfish in 2025 and take that time to really focus the majority of your energy on, you know, being the best you Right For Des. I think I would like to see you continue to discover yourself and heal yourself and understand that you are enough and that you don't have to be any cookie cutter mode or anything someone tries to.
Speaker 2:Lord, every time you say something nice to me.
Speaker 4:I cry Go ahead. You don't have to fit a description and you can find yourself. And you don't have to be a stereotype, you don't have to be what people perceive you to be. And you also got to know that, like what you were saying about, you know, at the end of the day, you understand that you're the reason because you made the decisions. You got to understand that those decisions were made based off the data you had at the moment. So you can't even be hard on yourself for those decisions. And you got to just take those, take what you've learned from the, from the, the, the, the actions, from the decisions, and just be the better person and be the person that, um, you wish you were before this decision was made. So that way you going forward, you can be a better person.
Speaker 2:Oh goodness, okay, Thank you. Can you give me a napkin?
Speaker 1:A napkin. I need your tissue, this shit is ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Every time you say something nice to me, what did I say?
Speaker 4:I just said something nice, something nice. Why are you crying, dad?
Speaker 2:Because every time you say something nice to me, am I supposed to be mean to you? No, it's just I can tell it's genuine.
Speaker 4:I'm just saying. I feel like everyone here has everyone here, all of us here have the has the potential to be much more than what we are, and I feel like each of us, in our own way, hold ourselves back. I agree, and a lot of times we use outside factors to justify it, but sometimes, you know, everyone is entitled to a little bit of suffering. You can't always carry the load.
Speaker 2:I don't smoke weed, no more y'all. So I'll be in here sober and y'all be hitting the bitch with the tear jerkers.
Speaker 3:With that being said, this has been episode 179 of the Heavyweight Podcast. Yay yay, Happy New Year, Happy birthday baby.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday, gorgeous hey.
Speaker 3:Hold on.
Speaker 1:Oh, hey, hey, I need a max wind.
Speaker 3:Like subscribe share comment.
Speaker 1:We love you Until next time. Peace, Peace, 20-25. I'm sweating. That's a wrap y'all. That's how she wrote, so make sure to click like subscribe. Tune in we on the Austrian platform. So until next time we'll have to ask you.
