The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
Wat Da Fuk Was Dat
Amidst the hustle and bustle of Southern California life, our latest episode is a heartfelt exploration of personal growth and the mental barriers we face on our journey to success. The spotlight shines on mastering the art of reframing negativity, whether it’s through mindfulness or simply chewing gum to calm the mind. We share personal anecdotes about overcoming stage fright and the power of authentic storytelling, as well as the wisdom of maintaining a positive mindset amidst life's challenges. With emphasis on accountability and sustainable habits, our dialogue serves as a guiding light for anyone seeking to harness their mental health and humor to navigate everyday experiences. Join us for this rich tapestry of thought-provoking stories, laughter, and insightful discussions.
Welcome to the Heavyweight.
Speaker 2:Podcast.
Speaker 3:The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can weigh in on some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation. What's good? This is episode 176 of the heavyweight podcast. I am your anti-social host, but never your favorite.
Speaker 3:Never your favorite everybody's favorite stutter mcfly back with this lady and these two guys. Go ahead and state your name for the beautiful people out here they call me a lamp post evans oh my goodness it's because you lean it.
Speaker 1:We should be chilling, just post it like a lamp it's your boy, molito dominique's favorite, your boy Marlito.
Speaker 2:Dominique's favorite Hell. No, I'm your girl. That's the diva.
Speaker 1:How were your weeks? It's good, mine's good. It's tiring A lot of, a lot of shit A lot of shit, a lot of shit, but it's good, it's you know what you sipping on. A little, a little Crown a good.
Speaker 4:It's what you're sipping on. Uh, a little. A little crown, a little morgan. Well, you got crown and morgan. I don't know who the hell is. Morgan, captain, morgan, captain, morgan. You got crown and morgan no no, that's disgusting morgan pepper. Morgan pepper dr morgan walking in the office. Oh my god, I was gonna uh talk to you after and say are you okay? Right, it sounded like it was stressful. You're drinking Crown and Morgan together.
Speaker 3:And pepper. Yeah, broke, I can sympathize with that shit. I get that a lot Fucking Southern California living.
Speaker 1:Yeah, working out Blood pressure getting down and stuff.
Speaker 3:What's up?
Speaker 4:Have you tried?
Speaker 1:the, the gummies, the beet stuff. I haven't. I got beets in the house but I haven't.
Speaker 4:I can't do beets, I'm just nasty man. That shit don't taste bad.
Speaker 2:No beets is good, it's like organic Kool-Aid for me.
Speaker 3:That's how I look at it.
Speaker 4:I can just eat beets.
Speaker 3:Like straight up, I eat beets all the time.
Speaker 4:Me too, like you pick them up and bite them.
Speaker 3:I eat beets all the time. Watch me dine in. Yeah, you do Shout out to.
Speaker 4:Toby.
Speaker 1:A lot of beets. Yeah, you do.
Speaker 4:My week. Huh, I just want to say that my week was cool.
Speaker 3:You're slimming down.
Speaker 4:I appreciate that. Stop trying to fuck Okay.
Speaker 2:I was going to say you tell his ass, he trying to fuck.
Speaker 3:I'm going to start calling you Moe Button.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 4:My daughter. She gave me her official Christmas list Moe Button.
Speaker 1:How many pages?
Speaker 2:I'm trying to hold it in.
Speaker 4:It wasn't bad. She gave me her Christmas list. I think it was about eight to ten items. That's not bad, and I think it's a total of like $300 for everything she wants, oh man.
Speaker 1:That's not bad. So it's not bad we lost them for a second.
Speaker 4:Pump pump, pump, pump, pump it up. They don't give a fuck about your week. I also want to say to their point I want to say publicly, because I tell them every day privately- fuck Joseph Patino.
Speaker 2:Body by Patino. That's that man's name? No, he's our co-worker.
Speaker 3:He puts these workouts together. That's a thank you, my legs hurt. I say it's a thank you because it's free. All the motherfuckers charge for this shit. He going to charge us.
Speaker 4:My legs hurt every day.
Speaker 2:Good Well you look nice and I'm not trying to.
Speaker 1:Once you're not fat, once you're your weight, your legs go.
Speaker 4:I text that motherfucker on Thursday. I said oh, I text that motherfucker on Thursday. I said look, I said, if I don't get my steps on Friday, it's cause, yo, it's cause it's today, Cause I'm not walking gingerly.
Speaker 2:I'm not telling you, you look nice, no, you got upstairs too.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, y'all niggas on legs day.
Speaker 4:It'll be the day of.
Speaker 1:Sitting down taking a shit, oh God damn it.
Speaker 4:If I'm being honest, I've been known to slide downstairs.
Speaker 1:Like never mind, that's your week. You got a walrus down the stairs like what it was cool. Sounds like a loaded cool.
Speaker 2:It was cool. I rode back in school, so that's good.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's good, I'm happy you're Bettering yourself, my wife better herself, and I'm holding her back. I ain't shit. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, oh my god, she got two degrees, I got none. Pump it up if you came To get it on. I'm just money and dick Over here.
Speaker 1:Trying to make it work. You know, don't look at me and ever say that Again, again. So what are you going to school for?
Speaker 2:I'm completing my mental health degree so I can become a therapist.
Speaker 1:That's what's up.
Speaker 2:To align it with my non-profit I like it.
Speaker 4:I like it, I'm almost proud of you.
Speaker 1:Can we have the applause?
Speaker 2:for everyone. Quit trying to fuck, because every time somebody says some nice shit to you, that's what you say.
Speaker 3:That sounds like something Mo Button would do.
Speaker 4:Are you done?
Speaker 2:I ain't never done, can't stop, won't stop. You need to throw that shit on there. I ain't never done. Fuck you, yep, gonna, keep talking shit. Gonna, keep talking shit. Fuck you, yep, gonna keep talking shit. Gonna keep talking shit. You know what cause? I came in complimenting you. I was like, hey, you look nice, you look good. And you said, oh, quit trying to fuck. And the reality of it is I'm very particular about what niggas I fuck with. But hey, you leave me with your wife. I might try to smash her in a balcony room. I'll build a balcony for her. Chocolate thick mcfly, her makeup, be on point. You know we sweet she well spoken. I'm gonna take your wife, that's very awkward.
Speaker 2:You can't afford it. You'll know what I can afford. You see, I just whispered to that girl how much I make.
Speaker 1:What color do you think I should paint this garage?
Speaker 4:McFly.
Speaker 3:Yo-Week, I think. Purple, and gold, I like that Yo-Week McFly. It was a good week. I went to work, no bullshit. I had to do my DOT physical, got my two years. Did you cough? No, I did not cough cough. I had to squat down and that. And then, when I came up, I heard two pops was it in both knees?
Speaker 2:huh, yes what would you be coughing for? I don't wanna know.
Speaker 3:It's a physical, yeah a physical usually a physical they tell you to drop your pants you gotta cough they cuff your balls.
Speaker 2:They cuff your balls and cough, I don't have balls, so I wouldn't know that.
Speaker 4:Oh, they don't. You gonna drop your pants and they patentate your cough. No nigga.
Speaker 3:They look for hernias and such.
Speaker 4:That's how they do it.
Speaker 1:No, sounds like a lawsuit.
Speaker 2:Weird-ass nigga Hell no.
Speaker 1:Straight lawsuit.
Speaker 4:Two pats.
Speaker 2:Right Cough. What the fuck was that? The hell, that's some.
Speaker 3:That'd be a fucked-up origin story for how you got your rap name.
Speaker 2:That's some Donald Trump shit. Two Pets, two Pets Grabbed by the pussy, and shit, hell no.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry, I've been on one all day, all day. What's the topic for today?
Speaker 2:He didn't finish his week. Dad, I'm tired of you.
Speaker 3:Other than that, I've just been enjoying it. I watched Beetlejuice, the the two I liked it.
Speaker 2:Was it good? I liked it? I keep hearing it was predictable but, I liked it.
Speaker 3:It was predictable, very predictable. I caught that shit and I was just like, yeah, it was, it was okay. I yeah, it was obvious. I think that's what was disappointing. That was obvious, like I already knew what was going before and then it felt like I had too many sub, uh subplots going on, especially the big bad wasn't even the big bad because of how it just ended up.
Speaker 3:It was like so what was the point of even introducing that character? Yeah, other than that just chilled, started listening to that J Cole podcast that he has.
Speaker 4:What did?
Speaker 3:he do yeah podcast that he has, yeah, um, but it was it was. It was entertaining because it's always dope to hear the people that you respect in your craft, uh, where their frame of mind's, where when they were doing what they were doing. So I've been getting into that and I listened to a lot of podcasts, um, to get a understanding of what angle or way I can approach this one. But that's about it. And listening to music, and I was listening to old music last night trying to get an idea of where my brain was when I was like 10 years ago.
Speaker 4:Was it on some Fuck Everybody.
Speaker 3:No, it was more. That's on my body, more I feel like on a creative standpoint and less trying to be lyrical. I think I'm more trying to be lyrical now, and back then it was more about just the creating of the story of the other song. So we shall see what it creates.
Speaker 4:I will say that Poker Face is now in my top five McFly songs.
Speaker 3:And that one's like 15 years old, but the concept was dope.
Speaker 4:It's actually really lyrical and funny at the same time.
Speaker 3:It's about.
Speaker 4:Maybe because I have insight to your personality. That's why it's funnier to me.
Speaker 3:So it's a song I made to the Poker Face Kid Cudi beat, and the main character that's rapping meets three women, and one's name is Stacy, one's name is Tracy and the last one is Dominique emphasis on the dome. He goes and each of them have a different character or personality and then at the end the whole punchline is their names, as together form an acronym of STD mother fuck me oh, my god, you didn't catch me on that no didn't catch you.
Speaker 4:Oh, you went the other way.
Speaker 2:We're not talking about your sister. Your sister is my favorite. I don't know where you're gonna go ever no, but it was.
Speaker 4:Dominique is my.
Speaker 3:I'm her favorite, she's my favorite but the the funny thing is, a girl went to high school with the reason why I said it that way was in high school she used to say this and it was always weird to everyone she was like my name's dominique, and she would always say dome, and we're like we get it dominique. And they were like no, dome, monique, and we're like right. So like that was a punch, yeah, that was a punch line for me. So it was like when I came up with the idea for the song, I was like that works. Like that was a punch, yeah, that was a punchline for me. So it was like when I came up with the idea for the song, I was like that works. Like that one works for this particular thing I'm trying to do on this song well, now I'm trying to figure out who the hell you talking about.
Speaker 2:Dominique she ran track no, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 4:I doubt she'll hear this, but she said she was a model and she can't with no one else, and she used to always say that in high school. She was.
Speaker 3:I'm a model, kevin. I want to go down this road.
Speaker 2:I don't know what I was like.
Speaker 3:Well, but I just remember her saying that and that's where I got the idea for that. That's why it's in the song, because that shout out to her.
Speaker 2:It's a very funny song well, send it to me, yeah, yeah um, that I will listen to.
Speaker 3:Well, send it to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that I will listen to.
Speaker 3:I believe you.
Speaker 2:Send me the Moe Joe button.
Speaker 3:Thanks. What if it's Moe button?
Speaker 2:I don't send that at all, I'm going to start doing Joe button parodies. I get all that I need from him while we're here.
Speaker 4:I don't have his voice, though I think you can channel it I do like the way he say you niggas saying price picks the pores. You'll figure it out all right um can
Speaker 1:we blank that out. I don't want them to like because I think it's the reverse for us.
Speaker 3:If they hear us, right, they start charging us so I guess it's time to get into the shenanigans.
Speaker 2:Um, you're not gonna say it I'm not gonna say it all right man oh I love when you say it, say it, I'm a change man stubborn ass nigga. I love it again.
Speaker 3:Usually these come from curated from things in passing that I either pick your guys' brains for or that I'm going through. So what limiting beliefs are holding you back from achieving your goals?
Speaker 2:I don't think I have limiting beliefs necessarily. I think I have um like, um like, winner's remorse is that like survivor's remorse?
Speaker 3:yeah so like you feel, like you feel guilty for being in a being up levels of success.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you feel guilty for leaving people behind? I think so, and that's why you need to listen to more kindred.
Speaker 2:Everybody yeah, I do, I think I have. It's not necessarily like a limiting disbelief, it's literally like I'll get there and then I'll feel bad.
Speaker 3:So what would you say? Any of your past experiences have shaped that, that belief. So what would you say?
Speaker 2:any of your past experiences have shaped that belief. Just hearing particular people say like, oh, you've changed, or oh, you think you just shaved because you're doing X, y and Z?
Speaker 3:Would you identify that as shade?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's shade. And now that I recognize it's shade, I just shade back, but still have that like line of guilt.
Speaker 3:It's pretty shady out there. Glad to have you back, so I'm looking forward to this back and forth.
Speaker 4:We shot you out and I'm sleepy, so oh, she's sleepy now, so now her sugar loaded and my iron load's a nigga, it's cold and I'm sleepy shit what threw me.
Speaker 3:What threw me is and I told him this we were recording and you had to leave suddenly. So in my brain you were still here. So he had to point out to me, like I was like oh shit, you're right. But in my brain I was like she's here and I'm like, but she's not like. So he had to point it out because you were here. So my brain it was like she's here, what are you talking about? And I'm like, oh yeah, he's right, she's not here.
Speaker 3:So sorry about that it's all good, it was just. I just remember like my brain was just in that because we were just going constant recording, so my brain was just okay, um I wouldn't say I have a limiting belief.
Speaker 4:I think I suffer from fear of success.
Speaker 2:So same as me kind of.
Speaker 4:I don't, I don't. I've failed too much to have fear of failure, so you know, but I do feel like I have a fear of success.
Speaker 3:Is it, and I've asked this before do you think the fear of success comes of what comes after, like the maintaining it?
Speaker 4:It's the maintaining part, it's because I know the way I operate is like I mean, I'm pretty sure you can probably attest to this like, like, uh, like the whole process with with the, with big brown right, like going package, okay, we made package. Now, okay, well, I'm here, I'm here, I'm at this pay level. I need to maintain this. Then you go feed her. Oh shit, I'm at this pain. I now need to maintain this. So now it's like, when I look at the big bounce situation, I've attained the level where I can't go any higher and I know, because of the institution we work for in the union and stuff like that, I can't get any lower. So that, like that's permanent, like, so all I gotta do is show up and the money is consistently gonna be there, right, unless something dramatic happens with the country or whatever the bullshit, right. But when it comes to personal success, it's like, well, shit, how do I have, do I have the motivation, or am I willing to give the effort to maintain whatever level of personal success I maintain, because it's easy for me to go out here and pay bills, because I'm doing that just by working, but like when you have, you know, putting effort into the recording, doing the personal video, you know, trying to elevate anything else like that's. That's areas in which I understand like this is going to be a. It's going to take a maintain, consistent effort to keep this at a baseline.
Speaker 4:And it's like I have the you know, the constant fear of am I going to be able to maintain this, partly due to personal reasons or partly due to trying to maintain, you know, the family unit, because I got you know I feel like I'm stretched thin, you know as is.
Speaker 4:So it's like how much more of myself can I give up? Because I can only. Because the way I look at it is like at point in my life I can only take away from self because I have I'm committed to my wife, I'm committed to my family, I'm committed to my daughter right, I'm committed to the podcast and House of Ventures. So it's like anything extra I do, I'm taking away from myself. And then I know from past experiences, when I take away from myself, that's when I get overwhelmed because I don't have time to be with me. So now it's like so now I look at stuff like do I, do I really want to do this? Am I going to? Is this really going to take me to a level of happiness, to where I can sustain it without feeling overwhelmed. So that's my fear.
Speaker 3:Gotcha.
Speaker 1:Um, I think mine is more, cause I I don't know if it's the fear of success, it's more I think I'm scared to kind of let my ego drive because I haven't figured out how to balance that, because I think I understand what it takes to get to certain points and what it's going to take out of me to do that. So like I understand what I think I'm going to have to like, be like, but I don't know if let my because I've let, I never really let my ego drive, but I felt what it's kind of like and it's not like I'm not a big fan of it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Because it's almost like, oh, if we're going in's some other shit where it's like nothing else matters. You know what I mean. Do you feel like when you let the ego drive, you didn't like the feeling as far as like what path it took you?
Speaker 1:down or like more or less like the feeling itself. Um, I don't know, because it's not, I don't feel like the path is bad, but like I feel like when it gets to the, I feel like with my ego it gets to like tunnel vision, where, like, if I'm fixated on one thing, then it's that. You know what I mean. Like it was easier to do comedy when I didn't have responsibilities, because that's all the fuck I was doing, but now it's like I don't know how to split it. The balance, yeah, so that's where my fear is is like do I just release? Or how do I learn how to? I don't know how to, like inch by inch, release that like to see how, okay, how much do I do, when do I do this? Where do I do this? Like you know what I mean. So that's my fear is how's that going to look?
Speaker 3:I think it's the thought of I guess it's a combination of achieving get to a higher level. So you're like I don't want to miss it up here. And then so you kind of get to that point where you almost fucking circle around where you're at, where I'm good right now, I'm good right here, but if I fuck around, make the wrong step, I could fall back. So like, so that's with everything from doing music creatively or creating creatively, or even the job. Like when we talk about with the job, it's yeah, we can. We're essentially with having the backup of a union. You're like okay, unless you do something really fucked up, that's the only way you can truthfully lose the job.
Speaker 3:But even in certain instances we've seen where and in certain accounts, it was really something simplistic that caused it and it was like damn, so what happened there? So like, even then I'm like I maintain a certain course but also know that there's so there could be something so minuscule that could change outcome. So when I look at that I'm like OK, just let me. So sometimes you don't take the chance that you should take because you're like I don't want to fuck up what I got. So but you're still thinking but how do I get up there?
Speaker 1:and it's see, I think part of it too is there's certain things that I'm not worried about the part of success, because I feel like when you gain certain parts of success, you know how to get more success. Like when you got to where you're at in your job, you're like OK, I thought this was impossible at some point, but now it's like OK, that wasn't as bad as I thought. I get what you're saying, like what your guys is is like there's not much. It's not like you're going to go and be the fucking CEO of the goddamn company, that's much. It's not like you're gonna go and be the fucking ceo of the goddamn company. That's like that's what it is.
Speaker 1:But say you were to take that somewhere else. I don't think you're worried about being able to obtain whatever the level is at another place. You know what I'm saying. Like you still know how to get that. I just think we don't know what it looks like. So I think that fear is what comes from too, because it's like I've heard people who are successful in positions that go like yeah, I was terrified, but once I got like my first million dollars, the second one was easier and you're like oh that's because it's like what do they say?
Speaker 1:You get more information on how you got there, like with the downfalls and all the other shit. It's like, OK, so if I do this this way, all right, let's apply it to this now. So it's like you could do that. But I just think we're at a point to where we haven't seen those things yet. But it's like we're at a point to where we are more successful than we probably acknowledge.
Speaker 3:If that makes me, if I think we are so and and as I say that I want to say, shout out the papa smash burgers that shit is delicious I just wanted to make sure I flagged that we're talking success right shout out the papa smash burgers. The burgers are fire. I really do appreciate you. I met the owner real chill cat and um you should come to a talk your shit you could you guess you should come do a.
Speaker 3:Talk your shit um, and when we clip this up we will make sure that this gets in your inbox, but shout out to Papa Smash Burgers. Wagyu, and I don't know how the hell you got that price, because that shit's delicious and it's a high quality and it is a good price so if you're ever in off of Highway 74 or going towards Hemet or the 215, stop by.
Speaker 3:It's off of Palomar and highway 74. It's delicious, you won't be disappointed anyway. I just got to go to that plug anyway. So we're talking about success. Um, yeah, it's the trying to achieve maintain. But, like, I think the thing for me, even with that job, is just when you see things, uh, how they they, how they happen, like with, for instance, what happened with, uh with even Hunter. When we saw it we were like holy shit, how could that even happen? Because it's like it was something so small. So you're thinking to yourself like if they can fucking fire him for something like that they fired hunter this was a while back.
Speaker 3:It was a whole bag. It's like you have to hold the whole backstory, but anyway, when it fired, when he got fired it was something wrong. It was nothing he did nothing wrong so you start, it gives you a kind of a print understanding of where you actually sit with the company when you think, like when we say we have the backing of a union and it takes still takes time yeah, it's just, it's still crazy to you like damn for you doing nothing and standing your ground, you can get fired.
Speaker 3:Or if you're just doing this, you can get like they. They essentially show you just, they can find a reason when they need to. And then and it puts things in perspective for me to be like you know what, you don't realize you're doing it, but you kind of step back off, like you kind of accelerate or decelerate rather and step off the gas, because you're like I ain't trying to fuck what I got going on. Yeah, I'm trying to get to something better. I understand that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but certain level of yeah, at some point you're like I got this job, I'll get another. Yeah, you get that, you gotta you draw a line in the sand for sure. But like it's, it's just. You realize that with certain things you're like, hey, like I'm gonna just, I'll try to find a way around this one, but I'm not gonna go that that path, because I saw what that path might create but but also to your point, kevin, when you have, when you look around and you now you're older and you have more responsibilities, there are also.
Speaker 4:That line in the sand is a lot further back than where it was before, because now you're like, okay, look, I got a family to take care of, so I'm going to give you this.
Speaker 1:Well, we're opposite. My line in the sand was like somewhere back there, and now I'm like, ah, I got to pull it up here.
Speaker 3:I think it doesn't. It kind of um, it changes too when you kind of go out into the field. So, like when we were doing our contract negotiations, I had other guys from other companies come up to me and pick my brain and was like so y'all on contract negotiations, yeah, how much do you think you guys going to get paid, cause you guys dictate the force? I said what the fuck are you talking about? He's like think about it, you guys. What you guys pay trickles down to what we get. So then you start thinking so we're on top of the mountaintop as far as what you're saying is drivers. So you start thinking do I want to fuck this up and then try to get make less money elsewhere? You know what I'm saying. Like, so, like you. So that line in the in the sand kind of becomes, yeah, like it teeters, because it's not just the less money.
Speaker 4:They do more work, but I'm saying like sometimes it's that so that's the part where it's like.
Speaker 1:that's the the fear part I think is once you, because I feel like we get comfortable in where we're at and it's like because there's probably a nigga who was there who's like you know what, fuck it, and he just went out and did the work and got his own shit going on. He might have took some pay but it took him a while to get to where he's at, but something crossed him to where he went. Yeah, nah.
Speaker 3:And it makes me think about that too, is when we were talking about it, the other guy that was in that altercation did the most fucked up shit that they claimed was zero tolerance and got his job back. Still there. Yeah, and that was the. So it kind of makes you be like what the fuck? This whole second offense doing the same shit? You're like go ahead and bring them back, y'all make it shit up.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I think we went on a tangent, but it is what it is. But, yeah, I think there are certain things that create those frame of minds, which I think is I think us, for I can say for us four I feel like we're actually getting past those obstacles. Can you describe a moment where you successfully refrained from a negative thought?
Speaker 4:I had a thought, but I didn't do the action. Did I win? Yeah, okay, I was going to slap the shoulder, josh, I didn't know you were.
Speaker 2:I was going to slap the shoulder, josh, I know you were.
Speaker 4:I was ready.
Speaker 2:I've not mastered the art of reframing from the thoughts. If I say in my head, I'm going to knock your ass out when I see you.
Speaker 3:I believe you.
Speaker 2:You ain't got a whisper, yeah, speak it.
Speaker 3:Let them know I'm with the shits. A whisper, let's speak it. Let them know.
Speaker 2:Like, yeah, I'm with the shits, I'm still working on it, I'm still working on it.
Speaker 4:Now I have gotten better with the negative thoughts of myself. That's good, that's good, and now I got to stop Talk, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 3:You know, you don't want me to be proud of you. They look at us faces like stop trying to fuck. That's all you say.
Speaker 2:I already done, told you.
Speaker 4:I've gotten better with that and I think most of that is, I do think, with everything that's happened to me recently. I do feel like I've been well well, not just recently, but I've realized that I've been extra hard on myself.
Speaker 3:Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 4:Sure.
Speaker 3:With everything that happened recently, have you been able to get to a point where you're able to openly talk about it with even the therapist or just people around you, or do you still kind of reframe?
Speaker 4:I, I kind of talk about it with, uh, with the people that know. I don't necessarily go out and just, yeah, talk about it around the people, but the people that know, they know like I mostly, mostly, um, really, I talk about it mostly with my brothers and sisters does it has?
Speaker 3:was it kind of like a gradual process, or and if so, how long? Would you say it was probably?
Speaker 4:over the course of two, three months where I felt like I constantly I can openly talk about it, and I think the one thing this experience has really taught me is that now I'm able to I have grown emotionally, I'm able to identify my emotions in real time.
Speaker 4:So I'm not I'm not making I'm making fewer decisions based off of of retroactive uh impulses, right. So like, for example, the other day um, uh, during Thanksgiving, we're in, during Thanksgiving, we're out in Vegas, my brother's house, and, um, my wife was talking to me, but we're out in Vegas at my brother's house and my wife was talking to me, but we're out in public and she was talking and I could hear and I'm looking at her, but I'm like, and I had to tell her. I said, hey, look, I understand you're talking to me right now, but I'm overwhelmed. So whatever you're saying, it's not getting through. Let me process what's going on. And Now, if you would have asked me to do that three or four months ago, she would have just been pissed at me because I wouldn't have been paying attention to what she's saying, because I'm dealing with internally.
Speaker 3:You're able to communicate.
Speaker 4:So I'm finally able to communicate, like the other day, like I told her hey look, you know today's a bad day. I'm depressed as shit. I don't feel like doing shit. So if I'm distant, if I'm distant or unresponsive to certain things, I'm just in my head. So I'm not in a good headspace today. So it's like over the past couple months I've been able to do things like that, that has, that has a, that's the. I deem that as the one benefit of the guy Not out of the situation, because it actually forced me to learn how to identify what I'm feeling in the moment.
Speaker 3:And essentially found growth in feeling in the moment. Essentially, you found growth in the misfortune. That's something, that's something big Pause. You think I'm just stop being me. I have to, anyway, kevin, kevin. Well, he said successfully refrain from a negative thoughts this nigga the most positive nigga in the world.
Speaker 1:He is the black hippie. Well, that's just a fucking. I don't know it's a show, but I feel like there's I can refer to like comedy times. I don't know it's a show, but, uh, I feel like there's I can refer to like comedy times. There's a time I remember being on stage like fucking terrified and I don't know how the fuck I got through that shit. Like I had to ask my homie who was there. I was like, hey, could you tell? Like my leg was shaking and he was like, nah, he was like, nah, he's like. But you did like, as soon as you grab the mic, you look like the water turned on. I don't know what that was that day, but like, somehow I got through that shit and he was like it was funny, but I don't know what the fuck that was.
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, I was just shaking and shit, but that was a one thing. That's just in general. But like in life right now, I feel like that's every day, like that. That's why I work out, that's why I'm doing the things I'm doing, that's why I'm like, hey, I don't want to do none of this shit, but I do want to do this shit. I kind of want to see what the end result was. It looks like once I push through all of that like hard as I can, like the uh social media shit, like you know how I feel about it. But I'm trying, I'm trying my damnness and I, I like, I want to do good at it, I want to do more into it and feel, oh, this is fun. This shit ain't fun to me, but I feel like you overcomplicating your shit, though.
Speaker 4:I feel like you could just talk about some random shit and it'd be funny and it'll work yeah, because you have, just because I've known you have this gift to just be able to.
Speaker 3:Just you can tell stories effortlessly and you make them funny but I'm an overthinker, like when I'm right when I write it's fucking awful dog.
Speaker 4:That's what I'm saying, don't write it.
Speaker 1:Nah, I have to, I have to like. Have you seen the shit that I've when I write it. It's like what the fuck? I shit you not. When I was in the Navy, I was just bored. I was like I'm bored dog, so I just wrote a fucking zombie sitcom.
Speaker 2:So it's like one of those where I'm just like you can create out of stuff, but it's like was there a lady?
Speaker 1:in a tramp scene where they were eating brain. This motherfucker nah, it was all on the ship, it was the people who I was actually with the motherfuckers that needed to die died instantly. Did they die violently? Yeah, like the first opening scene was like I think my chief got shot and bit by a zombie all at the same time damn nigga. Like we just gotta saving them or killing them. But like shit, like that is just. I got to just do it. I can picture that. That's the hard part is, the creative side is to just doing it, because I get scared of that. I get scared of being good at it. Like I've told you guys that so many times. I get scared of being good at it. Like I've told you guys that so many times I get scared of being good at that, and then I get scared of it Not no longer being fun. I get scared of it being. This is what you have to do. You have to be this, like, say, fictitious works. Then I have to be goddamn fictitious and I'm like.
Speaker 1:I can't even go on stage and just have fun.
Speaker 3:They'd be like ah, all that shit.
Speaker 1:I can sympathize with that, but then I don't know if that's the arrogant thing too, to believe that. Who the fuck are you, to believe that that's where you would be headed. You know what I'm saying. So that's such a struggle in my head to figure that out, like the humility and being like yeah, fuck, yeah, like who the fuck are y'all.
Speaker 3:That's so. That's the underlining driving force behind why I won't commit to shit. Because when people expect you to do it, yeah, that's all they expect from you. Like, when I don't do the like I love, I would love to do a parody song. What if that shit takes off and now everyone expects you just to do parodies?
Speaker 1:what's homie's name? Uh, damn, what's his name from out of. No, he's out of. Uh, slow down, grab the wall. Like I forget that guy's name Sage.
Speaker 3:The Gemini Sage yes.
Speaker 1:That is a parody song, that nigga made a parody song and that's the song that blew up and he's like I don't even make music like that. What's he do now? Nothing.
Speaker 4:He collects royalty checks.
Speaker 3:Because that is like. It's because now you go down a certain path and you're like but I don't even do this normally, now you're expected to do it. That's why I was so like I would do 2K content. And then it's like but what if they just expect like now you can enjoy something that you used to do to relax.
Speaker 4:Now it's a job that's for me Like I was like man. As much as I've been playing Call of Duty I should be streaming right, but I've had the same. My answer was like well, I don't want to get to the point where they expect me to play this when I don't want to, because when I don't want to play it, I just cut the motherfucker off and walk away.
Speaker 3:Because I see that and I watch a lot of content creators. I'm like dude.
Speaker 1:I can tell they're I'll do all of it if I can get Kai's money. Yeah, I'll be fictitious for 34 days.
Speaker 4:And then got paid to sleep on camera.
Speaker 3:That's nuts, you said that it sparked a memory for me. In high school. Were you there freshman year? Do you remember, miss Drown, drown the computer lady. That's my favorite teacher yeah, so she, I don't remember she used to have this um, you had to do a project. Uh, like a fuck, was it?
Speaker 2:as, uh, as soon as he get done telling me. I'm gonna need you to tell me what that face was about, mr. I had to do a project and what?
Speaker 3:yeah, the powerpoint project. I don't know if you remember doing that. I do so.
Speaker 2:There was a you were in gbit.
Speaker 3:You were in gbit no, this was freshman year before we went into the academy. So, gbit, we did, I did education with him. Education academy um, it was like it's global business, right? Yeah, yeah, anyway, this is all north shit we're talking.
Speaker 3:But, um, in the class, I remember I didn't do shit, right. I remember I didn't do the, the project. I remember I was I don't know what the fuck. I was probably playing video game, but I remember I had to present. So right before or in class, as where everyone's presenting their shit, I uh, I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna have to wing it. So I put these powerpoints up real quick and I was like what kind of fucking angle could I play? And something I did with OJ Simpson, the juice. And I ended up going up there winging it, freestyled the shit and got an A right. But the reasoning behind it was everyone else was terrified to go up. My thought process was let me get over that, just let me get it over with. And that worked to my advantage because everyone behind me they could, I could look in the fucking class.
Speaker 1:I was like this nigga's bullshit, hey nigga, you made me think of being in college and having to give a speech. And I went up there and I was like hell yeah, and I was thought I went up there and I was like hell yeah, and I thought I was killing it and I was talking about caning motherfuckers. I was like we should cane people. And then the class went silent and I was just like oh shit, Like I thought the whole rest of the and I remember being at a party and this one girl was like no, your speech was great, Like we just were shocked.
Speaker 3:you actually said it out loud Like hell yeah, some motherfuckers should be came but we went. But it was a time where it kind of gave me an idea what avenue I could be going down, because it was I didn't have an issue really with public speaking, it was, and I could kind of come up with things on the fly mcfly and look out for stutter mcfit 2025, anyway, um, I like the name though but I just realized at that time that I could come up with things on the fly and that negative thought.
Speaker 3:My thought was, yeah, I wasn't prepared, but if I got this kind of mind, why not make it work? And in that moment it kind of gave me an idea of the confidence, was like shit can work sometimes, like and it worked in my favor. And I said, if I go in there first, you kind of dictate what follows.
Speaker 1:Some people are lying and they don't want to. I'm terrified. You're like it's cool.
Speaker 2:I'm too.
Speaker 3:I'm sure she did, but she was like you know what.
Speaker 2:That was my line.
Speaker 1:I bullshitted my Spanish shit and he was like what the fuck was that?
Speaker 2:And I was like, what did you say?
Speaker 3:That's the title of this episode that's mr q.
Speaker 1:He was like what the fuck was that?
Speaker 2:I had to share this real quick. Miss drown was my favorite teacher. I fucking loved her like my senior year my mom moved to san bernardino and I stayed in riverside with a friend and Ms Drown did every possible thing to make sure I graduated. She would give me a ride to school, she would bring me breakfast. She bought me an alarm clock. She was like she would help me with my homework. She took majority of my math final for me her and her daughter so I could graduate because I sucked at math. I got drunk at school. One day. She came and got me out the temp out of my language arts class because I was drunk in there and the teacher called and told her like hey, come get her. I was tore up and Ms Drown kept me out of trouble. I was there the day before she passed with her. I absolutely love Ms Drown. I love her Like. That was my lady. She had my back. She handed me my diploma.
Speaker 3:That's what's up. Yeah, I'm sure she knew I was bullshitting but, she was like hey, you got the balls to go up there.
Speaker 2:She gave you that credit for getting your ass up there. I know she knew.
Speaker 3:Alright, how do you? She gave you that credit for getting your ass up there. I know she knew so. Um, all right, how do you recognize?
Speaker 2:and challenge negative thought spirals. I'll go for a walk, I started thinking about jail. I'm not even going to lie to you, I don't want to be a Robert Presley. So I started thinking like, hey, I don't want to go to jail, you would like jail? I don't know how the fuck I would and I don't wanna go. You would like them. I don't know how the fuck.
Speaker 4:I wouldn't and I don't wanna.
Speaker 2:They got strap-ons. I don't even like strap-ons. Look at you, I don't even like strap-ons. Okay, so I don't. And who the fuck got a strap-on in jail and how you know? They got a strap-on in jail. I watched Oranges and New Black.
Speaker 3:I got they shape them out of potatoes.
Speaker 2:You ain't cutting up my coochie Hell, no, no.
Speaker 1:They probably know how to make them.
Speaker 4:Why do you think the kitchen always missing?
Speaker 2:cucumbers. I'm cool, you know.
Speaker 1:I feel like no, you the chef, yeah the CO's bringing them in.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's coochie falling off. I don't think so, but that's how I do it. I think, to jail.
Speaker 1:All your negative thoughts are just violence.
Speaker 3:I respected those.
Speaker 2:Honest, I've had those thoughts. I'm tired of people. Sometimes you got to pop out and show niggas, okay, and I'm fucking tired of people. I've had those thoughts. I get it.
Speaker 1:No, we got to reverse yours. Sometimes you got to pop out and not show a nigga.
Speaker 2:You gotta show everybody god damn it Shit.
Speaker 4:I can't be mad at her because I tell one of my favorite sayings at work is y'all lucky, I got a daughter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you don't want to go to jail and leave your baby, because if I didn't have my daughter.
Speaker 1:My daughter didn't need me I'd be right here with y'all. You're a violent niggas, yeah.
Speaker 4:I am slightly that's why my favorite rap lyric of all time.
Speaker 3:That's why Fabulous is like top, like one of the top in my thought process is that I always say it and I mean it, because I've had thoughts where you just like, you just hurting. It's like root of money is the root of all evil, I thought. But when I'm broke is when I usually have the evilest thoughts and that shit plays as a mantra because it makes you remind you like dude, like when you're hurting, you start thinking some shit that you didn't think before like robbery and shit.
Speaker 3:Huh, like robbery yeah you're like, I should just you're like, but you would never do that. But your brain is like dude.
Speaker 1:I need it, though, today we gonna do it, yeah, yeah yeah, but I feel like broke is like it's the opposite when it comes to violence.
Speaker 3:Cause you're like I got, I can't bail out alright yeah but what I'm saying is like you, you get to a point where there's some shit you never and be like man. I don't want to go to jail, yeah, I don't like, but you're thinking it like this motherfucker is there. Yeah, you got me there. That's where you get good at it.
Speaker 4:I try to refocus myself. When I'm negative, I try. I know I'm not always good, I don't always succeed, but I try.
Speaker 3:That's what you do. That's all you can do.
Speaker 3:I try, I try to do the when I realize it's. Usually I get this anxious feeling Like either my leg will start shaking, my hands will start like tingling, I'm like, and like you start thinking one by one this happened, then that happens, then this happens, then that happens. And before you know it, you're like but you got to catch it. And I caught myself, like like when I was doing the DOT physical, because that was my usual issue my anxiousness gets the best of me and I just start thinking of all the things that that that fall on my shoulders from taking care of the family, all this shit. If I, if I can't get through this, all that might go away.
Speaker 3:So I, what I did is I started looking at videos and reading up on techniques for anxiety and I started practicing them. I bought gum because they said if you focus on the chewing of the gum and the texture and the thought of chewing gum, it'll get you out of your head. And so, instead of thinking the negative thoughts, I started thinking of everything. I was touching my fucking, my pants, because apparently, if you feel texture like, it makes you not focus on what's in your brain. I love you and I have a lot of anxiety, like I have bad anxiety, so um I can't do it, don't do it, they're.
Speaker 3:They're laughing. Let me stop.
Speaker 1:I'm not laughing at you, I just couldn't do it. I'm like mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, the gum. Because you got to poke it Like mmm so soft. I take it too that far they're like it's too far.
Speaker 3:It's like is this nigga high? Have you ever had this texture of gum? Oh my God, this is good gum. Except that gum, it literally looked like you bit into shit. That's how your face looked.
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:I said, damn, what the hell You're like. Yeah, mm, mm. Then when you said nicotine, I said okay, now that makes sense.
Speaker 1:I might try that, though that's actually because it makes you I would probably focus like a motherfucker on that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because that's and I and I looked into it was the textures. It's like sometimes you might need to fill your face. Uh, hands, look down, like push, push the anxious energy out to the floor, like to get out of your body, and it worked. But I have a bad time with anxiety because I start spiraling and thinking of what if and what could go wrong. And it's like when you have the whole world on your shoulders and you feel like it's only you and you have to provide for people. And if you, if you're not able to provide, then there's no mortgage, no, whatever, etc.
Speaker 1:Like um, but yeah, yeah, I think, uh, I've been, I've been doing a lot better at that lately, just because I get into those moments. But I try to focus on what I could do to attain more, because I'm in a position to be able to do stuff. You know what I'm saying. We all are. So I kind of try to focus on what could I do better. You know what I mean. Don't focus on all the all what I could do. I feel like if I put my mind to something, I could tackle it better. Like you know what I mean. Don't focus on all the all like what I could do. Like I know I feel like if I put my mind to something I could tackle it. So I try to pick one thing and be like okay, one thing at a time. One thing, one thing, and not try to let it all overwhelm, because I'm like it's almost like when I talk about like, say, we have something doing with bills, it's like if it's past five o'clock, what? What's the fucking point?
Speaker 1:So, Because you got to eat.
Speaker 4:I know from experience, Um yeah.
Speaker 1:I try to focus it. I try to believe that if I in myself to, to believe that if I in myself to like, if I actually put my all into something like no matter what the fuck it is, I can pull it off, like if I wanted to go learn how to fly a fucking plane, I can fly a fucking plane oh man, you know, I know somebody that can fly a plane.
Speaker 4:If he can do it, you can do it that ain't right.
Speaker 2:You ain't right. You ain't right. Shut up the Mark.
Speaker 3:You ain't right, that's cold.
Speaker 1:You ain't right.
Speaker 3:But I will say Thanks for shitting on my belief in myself.
Speaker 3:When Mo called me earlier this week and he was like I told him I was like I take this physical, he was like so how you feeling about it? I said I did everything I can do, just got it. I said I did everything I can do, just got it. I said I did everything I could possibly do to get prepared, just got to do it. Oh yeah, and that's how I looked at it, like and yeah, there's things in your life and obstacles that you're trying to do the best that you can do down whatever path you go. Um, then I feel like all you can do is have try to force yourself to think positive thoughts, because if you understand that you're doing everything and possible to get to a better place, then everything should work out the way.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I think the importance in that too is the accountability of sometimes, because I think people forget that part and try to put everything else outside of themselves instead of looking inside and being like what part did I miss? Because sometimes we do dwell on all the stuff we say we missed.
Speaker 3:Instead of focusing on the positives, some people got to look at some of those negatives and I agree on those, because if you're saying, oh, I did everything I could do and all you did was take your medicine, but you've been eating like shit. Or you've been doing this and you're like, but I don't understand why my health is shot, it's like, but have you done everything you?
Speaker 4:possibly could do. But it's not only that. You also got to understand that the goalpost is not the same for everybody. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 4:You literally could be doing everything you're supposed to do, to do. You could be, you know, you know um, hitting the gym, working out, eating right, and your progress doesn't. That doesn't mean that your progress is going to max match somebody else's progress. I agree you may, you, it may take you a little longer. That don't mean you're not on the right path. But I know, I've seen it before where a lot of people, like man I've been, I've been going hard for 30 days and I'm, I've seen, I see nothing. Well, it may take you 60 days before you see it. The problem, the key, is to stay consistent and believe in yourself that you're doing the right thing.
Speaker 3:And too because I've had that talk with Joe Patino.
Speaker 4:Fuck you Joe.
Speaker 3:And you have that time where you're like I'm doing everything right, but then it's like but are you? And then, like you said, take accountability. It's like what are you? What are you? What are you? Because it's like exercise only goes so far. What is your diet like? And somebody be like well, you know, I did eat this and this, and it's like so how can you expect if you know for a fact and you know, yeah, I ate that and I shouldn't have ate it. Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:I thought I told them I was looking. Man, I'm going to follow this. On Friday nights I'm eating the fuck I want.
Speaker 3:That's why I have a cheat day. Shout out to Papa Smash, I have mine.
Speaker 2:With the Wagyu meat and the soft back.
Speaker 1:Yes, I just got my excuse, it's fire. Your excuse. Yeah, I ain't no athlete nigga, I'm just I ain't trying to be.
Speaker 3:LeBron, because that shit trying to stick to something, especially cold turkey, will make you go fucking crazy, but that's the thing. It don't have to be cold turkey.
Speaker 4:You have to. Especially when it comes to diet. You have to. I wouldn't even start the diet until you find a good 50% of alternatives to what you actually like to maintain it.
Speaker 2:You ain't lying.
Speaker 4:So that way you're not giving up everything, so you can have some things, and then you, you swap out the rest of the alternative, and then the things that you don't swap out, you just eat less of those things, yes, and then eventually, as you see progress, you're going to want the things that are bad for you less I won't lie to you, the one thing that I can't I haven't found an honest, straight up alternative for his pizza you can't do that, it don't matter, even Even if you go to Kyle Farber, there's no alternative.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's the one.
Speaker 4:then I've loved pizza my whole life, because I'll eat a large right now by myself.
Speaker 1:Is there like a good keto bread? Because that shit's trash.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 1:Keto bread.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that shit is. The longer you go without bread, the more you realize you don't really need it.
Speaker 1:You don't need it I don't know what y'all say.
Speaker 2:Again, I'm not the dave's brand bread is pretty good, especially if you like well yes the doctor switched to it when I got diabetes. The dave's brand yeah, it's pricey.
Speaker 3:It's good though I'll see you some, but they have.
Speaker 2:They have a ton of different kinds of the potato, the white bread, wheat wheat whole grain.
Speaker 3:They have oatmeal raisin.
Speaker 2:They got oatmeal raisin. They have those.
Speaker 4:My bad Go ahead Sorry.
Speaker 2:No, no, go ahead.
Speaker 4:I was going to tell you right now, if you're eating a sandwich, the bread ain't the problem, it's the mayo and the mustard, the what it's the mayo and the mustard.
Speaker 3:What's the last one?
Speaker 4:it's what I have learned and I think I'm on day 87, 88 something like that what. I have learned is that it's the condiments will take you out.
Speaker 2:They ruin the whole, they ruin everything so switch for hummus fuck hummus, I fuck with mustard hummus is good and they make a Target. Got a if.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna do nothing. I'm gonna just do. Goddamn, cause mustard ain't bad, for Hummus is good and they make a bun. Target got a-.
Speaker 3:If I'm going to do nothing, I'm going to just do goddamn Because mustard ain't bad for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the lemon pepper and that's it, I'm going to look good.
Speaker 3:It's the other shit that's bad for you. Hummus on my salad.
Speaker 2:Oh no, on your sandwich, oh.
Speaker 4:Like on a wrap. I used to do that. I can do it Like on a.
Speaker 3:God, you are so dramatic so how has understanding your thought process improved your mental well-being?
Speaker 4:A thousand percent, For me a thousand percent.
Speaker 3:I see the growth.
Speaker 4:A thousand percent Pause. I am the things, the qualities that I thought I had. I realized that I didn't have as much as I did. So, like, I feel like my patience have gotten better. When I'm not going through like a depressive episode, my patience is a lot better. I'm able to identify things a lot better, I'm able to have patience. I'm able to actually take what I call meaningful accountability, like because before I would acknowledge that, yeah, I'm fucking up or yeah, I did that, but I wouldn't, there would be no action behind me not doing that again, right. So now I'm actually putting the effort on the back end of trying to set myself up mentally to prepare myself to not do whatever it was again Because I know me in particular, never was again.
Speaker 4:Cause I know me in particular, especially with my wife, like a lot of times, like she, I don't catch things until I'm in the action of doing them. So that part, you know, shouts out to her for giving me the grace that she has, that part of uh of the journey has probably been the most satisfying for me to just be able to catch them, cause before in the past, I wouldn't catch them until they were done. So now I'm able to catch them in the process. So I think, like you know. So now my outlook is that, as long as I continue to work at it and get better, I can now just eliminate these certain behaviors from the beginning.
Speaker 3:So I ain't got to deal with it, I fuck with it.
Speaker 4:I fuck with Joseph Patino.
Speaker 3:And turn the TV off. Turn the TV off.
Speaker 1:I just want a summer. You want to go summer. I want a summer again. That's what I need Like summer break the season, yeah where's my summer break. We'll get that over. Yeah, that shit is stressful.
Speaker 3:You talking about like in school?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just wish I could not work for three months.
Speaker 3:Bills be paid. Work for a school district no.
Speaker 1:Nah, fuck them kids.
Speaker 4:You didn't have to work at the school or in the superintendent's office.
Speaker 3:There was always when I would deliver at the school off of Drusea and Mobile, the elementary school, there was always a dude in there that worked in the office, had the freshest fucking kicks on every fucking time and he was like, oh man, man, but about to be off for three months and I'm like fuck you, because he was flexing like always like that.
Speaker 4:See, then you don't trigger me, because that's that's my brother. So y'all know my brother work with kids, does he? So yes, he's a speech therapist, um so, um the nigga. He gets summer off and he gets every winter break, spring break. He's like at least y'all get vacation, nigga you literally yeah, it's built in you work eight months out the year. What are you talking about? He was like I don't get no summer break because I got my own goddamn kids. That's not my fault.
Speaker 3:So you can't blame me for you fucking.
Speaker 2:That's funny.
Speaker 4:But it never fails Every year around mid-April. I only got a couple of months. I'm three months off. Nigga shut up.
Speaker 3:He was so chill too. I was like that motherfucker as soon as he said that shit, I'm looking at Jordans and all that stuff.
Speaker 4:I'm like this nigga's fixed Teachers, teachers, they be happy yeah, and they be like oh, summertime you like motherfucker.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm saying. They be happy about to be off for three months.
Speaker 4:That's what I need think about it they get. They get every holiday off. They get three weeks for Christmas. That's. I'm in the wrong field.
Speaker 3:You ain't, unless you have a really good coaching job.
Speaker 4:I'll probably just go do IT.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what am I answering? I forgot I'm doing this.
Speaker 3:Mental health Fuck you. Understanding your thought process improves your mental well-being.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 4:The first thing he did was turn the TV off.
Speaker 2:Shut up.
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, I don't know. Sometimes I think knowing my thought process might make me a little more fucking anxious.
Speaker 3:Or crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious.
Speaker 1:Hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 2:We're not going to do this man's whole album, okay.
Speaker 4:We're just doing the ad libs. We're going to do the whole next episode in a GNX. We're going to record the whole episode in a GNX. All I ever wanted was a black.
Speaker 3:Grand National Huh.
Speaker 1:Sorry, hey, hey, hey, I honestly don't know. I think that's sometimes it. It helps me because it's like alright, I know I'm in this spot, but sometimes I'm like I know what the fuck I gotta do to deal with this shit, and sometimes that shit ain't fun. So that's probably not the best answer, that's just. But you can tell them.
Speaker 3:Kevin did it. Des hates us today.
Speaker 2:Yep yep, I'm tired of y'all. How about yours? How about you? I don't figure out the damn question. That's it what they talking about.
Speaker 4:They ain't talking about nothing.
Speaker 3:How is understanding your thought process improve your mental well-being?
Speaker 2:yeah, I don't think my thought process is well-being for my mental.
Speaker 4:I call BS on that. Why? Why?
Speaker 2:because last time when you, the last time we were together. I call BS on that. Why, why, nigga?
Speaker 4:Because last time, when you were, the last time we were together and you were upset, you knew that you were going to talk to your sister because your sister would calm you down so you could identify that, yeah, you're upset, oh shit, the world could identify you're upset, but you realize that you're upset and you realize that you had someone that would be able to bring you back to a place where you can think logically.
Speaker 2:Yes, but I called her and she said where that bitch at you want me to pull up right now, where she at oh you with the bitch, I'm on my way, I'm finna, pull up. That's so it didn't.
Speaker 1:Didn't work out, didn't it didn't Shout out, dominique.
Speaker 2:Baby. So then I then tried to call Lauren and Lauren was like you need me to come down the hill. So it just really didn't work. I should have called my mama, because my mama would tell me like, hey, you're going to go to jail and she no, jail, I'm scared.
Speaker 1:But that's your thought process though too.
Speaker 2:At least you was like maybe I should reach out before I crash out, Squabble up man.
Speaker 1:But everybody else you called was like crash out, fuck it.
Speaker 2:What's up, dominique's, with the squabble?
Speaker 3:up, squabble up.
Speaker 2:And Lauren asked too.
Speaker 4:I said they wouldn't try me in the tri-state.
Speaker 3:Ah shit.
Speaker 4:Oh, ah, shit, oh.
Speaker 3:I'll say that understanding why improved my thought or mental well being was just kind of getting the idea of yes, I have certain setbacks, but the thought process of just being able to take it day by day and push through and, like we've said, the thought process of just being able to take it day by day and and and push through and, like we've said previously, you're doing, you're taking a step already by just even attempting something. So you take that win in that and then you build on that. So the fact that you get up every day and even attempt to go to the gym, even if you don't do shit in the gym, the fact that you got up to go to the gym is something.
Speaker 3:If you walk in that motherfucker you done something more than 95% of the fucking population Touche. Just the attempt or the direction. Just build on that direction you go. You're facing where you're trying to go. Just build on it each day, get to where you're trying to go. So, with that being said, this has been episode 176 of the Heavyweight Podcast. Like, subscribe, share comment, squabble up, dominique, turn that TV off.
Speaker 4:Hey, now Say now Dominique's my favorite. I haven't even met her, she's my favorite.
Speaker 3:Next time peace.
Speaker 2:Peace. Oh, I'm sweating.
Speaker 1:That's a wrap y'all. That's how she wrote, so make sure you click like subscribe. Tune in. We're on the Austrian platform, so until next time we'll highlight you.
